I look forward to reading your book, "How to Live."

Very glad to see you're writing and publilshing everyday. GO DEREK GO!

Top value = happiness, but that’s sort of a cheat to this concept.

I dimly recall telephoning a counsellor, telling him I would be one of easiest clients, but that I nevertheless wanted to pay for counselling. It did me good.

He would see people not weekly, but fortnightly, to give them time to think and do homework. One of the homework things was to order my values and actions, to see how they line up. It turns out I was quite consistent, while his other clients were all over the map. I don't think that was coincidence, as, like I said, I was his easiest client. (Because I had already seen a counsellor in college, and then put in enough man-hours over the years to get straight)

So yes Derek, I agree with a hierarchy of values, and I would advise fellow readers that Derek's key word is "consider." Don't get too hung up on this, just have fun experimenting. In Star Trek terms: If it starts to feel hard, go to yellow alert.

i really wonder how you manage to travel without a phone these days: no maps where to go, no public transportation app...
It helps to have no destination in mind. We walked around whichever direction seemed interesting, each day. — Derek

Hi Derek, I actually missed your posts these past few days!... Have you ever written more than one post in one day and then just post the next day? Or are you more focused on the commitment of writing every day in itself and not in the posting? Do you think that could work for you? Writing more than one post in one day and then posting them gradualy throughout the course of a week, for instance? Thanks, looking forward to read the new book. Best regards, Filipe
I'm not sure yet. I'll keep thinking about this. — Derek

When our daughter was little I kept this note at the top of a file I looked at constantly: "Soon you will be helping Katie pack for college." And two lines from this poem -- https://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/860.html -- played in my head constantly: "I wish I might go back and do, The little things you asked me to."

Many years later, after we dropped her off at NYU, I didn't know if I survive the pain of (what felt like) that final goodbye. I was so happy for her, and so sad for me.

That grief was tempered only by knowing it could've been worse. At least I savored the time with her when I had it!

Creation, all the way.

Why does it have to be an either/or choice? If I'm taking the time on a regular, i.e., daily or more often, basis to focus on what values are most important to me in that moment, it's quite likely there will be regular shifts in my priorities. That doesn't sound like a bad thing at all.

Nice one. I like the way it ties in with "Don't be a donkey":
https://sive.rs/donkey

Can't wait for the new book(s)!

Nice way to justify inconsistency, Derek LOL. 'Why didn't I keep my word to write daily in my blog yesterday? Oh, sleeping was my value. Why don't I write a new article today? Oh, being lazy is my top value today'. Nice job in self-deceit.

It was actually your recommendation of Steven Pressfield's "The War of Art" that drilled into me the importance of just sitting down and doing the work.

I used to think that I'd have to have a huge epiphany or a creative thought in order to sit and start writing.

Nope, often just sitting down and actually writing will help my thoughts flow forth!

Wait a minute. Didn't you do a nice talk on why we shouldn't share our goals with others? :) You could have just kept the daily writing goal to yourself and we wouldn't even have known. I have two teenage girls who are already budgeting for when they leave our house: time with your kid trumps everything in my opinion. Including sticking to shared goals.
Yep! And I still agree with that stance. I didn't announce my daily posts until I'd been doing them for a few weeks. — Derek

For Iskander at # 11, please see my final paragraph at #4.
You are mistaken: At no time did Derek make a commitment to you and I, his commitment was solely to himself, at the advice, NOT commandment, of Seth Godin. (Which I know from Derek's now page)

As (I think) Yoda said, "only a Sith believes in absolutes," with no room for future thinking. At university we would forgive each other for being Sith as part of our meaning-of-life talking. We swiftly became less absolute. (I guess terrorists are Siths)

If Derek allowed himself to be aware, and if he was mistakenly exploring when he would best be writing, then, as on Star Trek: beep! beep! beep! the Yellow Alert would start flashing, and suddenly his exploring would be no fun.

To be aware can require taking action by getting centred, getting grounded, or sleeping on it. Sometimes people are hasty, flighty, scattered, impulsive or uptight as an escape from being aware. The payoff for escaping is the self-deceit of not being your best self, which some would call the true goal of self-defeating-behaviour.

Your comment, Iskander, which seems hasty to me, may not have been written from your best self.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. Whenever I spend time with my kids, I’ll try to ignore my phone, because it is too distracting. Speaking of attention: I also found the Tim Ferris Episode # 387- deals with Tristan Harris and attention- superbe!

I’m just reading this now because when I started reading it yesterday, I was on the bus with my daughter, and I immediately stopped reading it and started to give my full attention to my daughter. Once when my daughter and I were out together and I was worried that my phone was about to die and I was rather freaking out. She looked at me and said ”Let it die”! Yes, i’m a terrible mom!!!
I’m at JFK airport now and so glad I got put my phone away and started at her on the the way home even thought she was just tired and not in a mood for talking.

What's beautiful about values is that they can shift. My values have changed over time - what I value now is different from what I've valued then, and what I will value in the future may be different still.

I think some of those values were objectively wrong (I used to want to have all the shiny new gadgets, to show off on social media, to impress everyone). My shift to simplicity is here to stay.

But others just struck me as what I wanted to do at the time, in a way that's different now, and that's okay (ie, I used to be more adventure-seeking, but now I seek more time at home... and maybe in the future I'll be in adventure-seeking mode again).

Love this article Derek. My top is learning and creating. I have been thinking more and more about that lately but it seems so impossible to do. Alot of wife and house duties and in these times alot of time spent helping others. But taking it to an extreme has another advantage. For example (and it applies to everything) take learning a musical instrument take it to the extreme for a month that will tell you: if you really like it, if you want to keep working on it whether or not you seem to have a talent for it, and, did you enjoy it doing the work. I have recently discovered that taking things to the extreme really helps, I have learned alot about myself. My direct experience is with the art of Time Crafting. I took that to the extreme and when I eased off my spirit missed it and through all of that process I learned much about myself, what I really wanted and how to do everything keeping intact integrity, gratitude, kindness and compassion. Thanks for the article Derek. Loving your work and so glad that Mike Vardy introduced us to you.

For comment #5 by Markus, I was surprised that he associated phones with maps. Not me. I have only ever used paper maps.

I will zoom in according to my purpose.

In the bush I need "stay found" at all times. In a city where I want to be fully oriented, because it is "home," I will "get found" every single street corner.

In Central London a rough "tourist map" was fine; I would only check my position every few corners; I didn't mind getting back to my hotel late. Not having a specific route was better for tourist exploring.

Say, the other non-phone thing I did was carry a children's compass on a necklace; so I immediately knew whether to go left or right when I emerged from the tube. Also, the compass was a conversation piece, which meant I didn't have to dress as a "tacky tourist" to get folks to talk to me.

When I required precision, such as for subway breakdowns, (in February) I bought a real map booklet at the British Museum.

How often should one reevaluate and reprioritize one’s priorities ?

For the list of priorities listed above I found 1 set were equal. I am getting what you are saying. Thank you very much.