I've had that photo on my computer for 10+ years, and his face cracks me up every time. Fun to finally use it on the site.

Guilty as charged. Thanks as always for the perspective - I needed it badly today

Is there any hard data supporting that enough people feel that way to support the statement "It's human nature"? Personally, I'm the opposite, to a fault.

@thomas......check out The Negativity Bias—negative events and experiences imprint more quickly, but they also linger longer than positive ones.

Derek,
Besides other reasons for your observation, is the little one of us thinking life is "supposed to be" all peaches, like when we were back in the garden. Yes, I laugh too.

I once got retweeted a lot after I wrote, (in an essay) "I need my sense of humour when my life is not just black and white, the way it's supposed to be."

Hi, it's me again.

Humor experts might like to compare with the actual tweeted sentence which came after talking about rivers. "I find humor helps me navigate a world that is just not as black and white as it's "supposed to" be.

The essay, incidentally, was about how to get a sense of humor, because my heart goes out to poor nerds like Sheldon Cooper. Link:
https://essaysbysean.blogspot.com/2017/04/getting-sense-of-humor.html

They tell me that finding someone who admits to being "humor challenged"—yes, I picture Sheldon— is as rare as finding an admitted hypochondriac.

I think that the neuroscientists among us call this "negativity bias"; that we're hardwired through centuries of evolution to perceive the negative as a survival mechanism that's outlived it's initial usefulness. You captured it very well by sharing your experience. I appreciate how you communicate; it's real and genuine.

My wife told me and a couple that we are close with that she "had a goal to be more zen."

I suggested that she reflect on what she had just said.

It only took about 5 seconds for us to all be laughing.

That photo made my day. Was on a similar bend about half an hour ago, but I went to the park & meditated.

And after seeing that photo I feel right as rain!

<3
D.

I sold real estate years ago when cold-calling was legal, considered acceptable, and was thought to be the absolute best way to get listings.

Each evening, 5 days a week, I would cold call 20 people in a residential area that I had buyer clients for. My message was honest, and as polite as I could make it.

My average was 15 courteous people, 4 annoyed people and one person who ripped me a new orifice.

When I drove home, the only one I thought of was the person who had ripped me.

Then a friend pointed out to me that my earnings were based on an average of the calls I made, and that I couldn't get to the average two listings if I didn't talk with Mr. or Mrs Nasty. He or she was therefore a contributor to my average income.

I figured out what my average earnings were for those 20 calls, divided by twenty and learned what it was worth to receive their abuse.

From then on, whenever someone unloaded on me, I listened, smiled, then replied "Okay! Thank you for the XXX dollars. Have a great evening!" Then I disconnected.

Thereafter, I still thought of those people on the way home, but then chuckling to myself about them spending the rest of their obviously frustrated evening trying to figure out why I said what I said.

Same nasty people. What had grown was my ability to respond. (Responsibility)

Yo creo que no es la naturaleza humana y sí mental. Personalmente me ocurre y también te diré que cuanto más atenta estoy en que me ocurre, menos veces tiene lugar.

It reminds of this TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XFLTDQ4JMk

Isn't it just a sophisticated form of Loss Aversion? Or better, isn't this just the condensed version of David Foster Wallace's "This is Water"?

Anyway Derek, as a huge fan of yours I can't be happier that you "increased 50x" your blogging schedule :)

thank you so much, you're such a source of inspiration! A daily one now!

I think that the memories of many positive experiences have been put in the very back of my mind because of too many negative experiences, traumas, anxiety etc.

It's only recently that I remembered a very satisfying accomplishment I did 17 years ago approx : finishing my very first track using eJay on my computer. It was a matter of choosing and arranging loops to make a song.

Even after I released my first album and EP in 2017 I wasn't remembering that very first similar experience.

I think I had to accumulate some relaxation and calmness of the mind and body + practicing music making in a similar fashion everyday since May 2019 to reconnect with that memory.

I that same period of the remembered positive experience, I was going through my adolescence. It was pretty intense in emotions, low self-esteem, bullying, strongly believing I would never be with a girl in my life while hearing the first love/sex stories of my friends and... smoking weed, drinking alcohol on many weekends. What a bad idea :)

So no wonders I forgot many good experiences, and I'm curious to see them re-emerge now that I'm more mature and knowing a bit more how body and mind and emotions work.