Thank you for writing this, Derek. I really needed to hear the message you published here. You're an amazing person, because you stay so humble and down to earth. And you're a great storyteller. Everything is storytelling. :)
Have a great night.

I'm a believer! ;-)

Thanks a lot for this Derek. It is very much appreciated.

Best,
Dilanka

Often times it's multiple meetings that solidify those relationships. But it's true - whom you meet and help will come back to you tenfold.
Good point. I didn't emphasize enough the importance of follow-up, but that is the difference between a one-time contact and becoming real friends or at least being at the forefront of someone's mind. Thanks for the reminder. — Derek

What a fantastic post.

Anyone who complains that 'it's not what you know, it's who you know' forgets that it's so easy to meet new people.

Much easier than learning something new, in fact.

Damn, now I realize I need to acquaint myself with new friends who share my aspirations of success or are where I want to be; better hop to it!

Thanks Derek

I am starting a route 66 tour April 1st to meet up with everyone I have met on facebook. I like your pizza story. A good reminder to stay open. Let me know if I can buy you a pizza (haha).

Best
Bryan

Great article and true in many ways.

Thanks for starting CDBABY and for the articles and posts on FB.

I have been a reader of your material for years and learn a little more with every post and article you write.

Thanks.

As usual Derek, you are spot on and the only thing stopping most people is not getting off their chuff and going out and meeting people. Some are perhaps shy and others just think, why should I bother going there. Nobody will want to talk to me..It's all a mind set Derek.

Love this Derek, thanks so much for taking the time to 'think out loud' and post:)
Best to you,
Clare

Great post. If there are others thinking like me, you're about to be delivered a whole lot of pizza, Derek.

Derek, excellent advice! My Mom (from Italy ) is an awesome networker & great at gifting (or giving). I grew up w/ the Italian philosophy they call "Paisano ,paisani" translation: "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
Unfortunately I was raised to be seen & not heard,so I started life as an introverted artist type. Always a giver/helper but I was stuck there.
Now as I get older I'm having some success learning to reach up. What gets frustrating now though with so many channels online is "where" to focus and post the content & "who" to get to know. It takes hours just setting up profiles on the numerous sights and many now want rights to posts in perpetuity in their terms & agreements. How about a top 10 list of sights(blogs etc) to be seen on?
Thank You for All That You Do!
Sincerely,
Deborah
Deborahmagone.com
"Rock & Kick Your Ass Blues"
Good question. Might be different for everyone. For me, I've found my peers at Hacker News and a couple other places like that. But you can focus your attention on just one or two that really resonate with you. Still, your main attention should be on creating something remarkable, more than the promoting of it. — Derek

Sometimes you just need to ask... One day I found out that one of my customers leased most of the "as seen on TV" airtime here in New Zealand.

I needed a mentor so I picked up the phone said "Hi Paul, I've been looking for a business mentor and wanted to ask if you would be interested". I think I caught him off guard and he said "sure meet my tomorrow at the office".

After our first meeting, he offered to get me onto TV with my products and gave me some pointers to get things going.

Now, I can call him anytime.

Thanks for all the inspiration Derek!
Ha! Great example. Thank you. — Derek

Wonderful article! This motivated me to start building up my connections.

Cheers!

Most people aren't willing to do what you did Derek. They're either too shy, feel they're not good enough, or lazy.

All you have to do is get into motion. Take the first baby step. Who knows, one day it can lead to another CD Baby.
You are whatever you pretend to be. If you need to, just pretend to be an extrovert for 5 minutes. It works wonders. Then you can go back to being yourself, while the other person talks. — Derek

So true!
Holly Brook went from small, town WI - 1300 people at 16 & knew NO ONE, went to a TAXI convention, met a few folks, including you . . . followed up with a couple at 17. . . Moved to LA, signed to MSR (WB) at 18. Hit song with Mike Shinoda at 19 or 20. Label issues, so happily toured with D. Sheik a couple yrs . . . Then. . . Left LA to refind her soul in the OR woods. At 25, garnered Grammy nominations+ for composing "Love The Way You Lie".
These days, it takes personally forged connections and lotsa talent to back it up. In this case, it was talent.
LOVE IT. Great example. — Derek

Derek,

Thanks for sharing. Been on your email list for a while. I'm a huge believer in connecting and connection with people. It's a cornerstone of how we've grown our little 'movement' company. We are constantly thinking of creative ways to connect our clients to new and interesting people as well...arguably one of the hardest things to explain but one of the most valuable things that we do.

And, in the spirit of this article, please look ME up if you ever come to Santa Barbara. We know most anyone and everyone in the region directly or with a degree separation. We always love plowing new changemakers into our network and helping raise all of the boats with new energy and ideas.

Keep up your good work. Here is our B2C company: loatree.com and our B2B: loacom.com.

rock on.

David

I thought this was great. So often we think we have to know people in order to do cool things, but doing cool things (even small cool things, like ordering pizza) is a way to get to know cool people. The post also demonstrates how important it is to focus on giving, rather than getting -- actively looking for opportunities to serve and create value instead of wondering how and what you can get. Small moves, done consistently, can have big results.

Thanks Derek. I love pointing out to people that tell me I *have* to move to San Francisco to run my startup that my customers are all over the world and don't care one bit where I live. Through the internet I am connected to billions of people from all over the world.

Location is a fading monopoly of the past, and that's an amazing thing.

Dating Taylor Swift always ends in tragedy; a new song by her. :-P
Believe me, I learned that the hard way. — Derek

couldn't find the link now(phone really not a good interface for searching things), but i think this is at the same theme with another inspiring article of yours about success is just the matter of showing up? thanks for posting this. very very inspiring.

Derek,you have rigth,succesful people are good friends,we need them,and others need us. I think you are my succesful friend.

Sometimes the best way to create real friendships is to simply help people. I can't think of how often I've just introduced two people that were working in similar problems. Or connected two people that just seemed like they could help eachother. It's a great way to put good vibes out into the world. And those vibes sually come back to you down the road in unexpected ways :-)

Wow, found your article in hacker news. And when i know that you are derek sivers, I remember that your PHP vs Rails article several years ago have a huge impact in my language learning decision (and my work of course).

So are you still writing code?
Hell yeah! It's most of what I do now. List of projects at http://50pop.com/code — Derek

Hi Derek,

As always, accurate and useful. Thanks for posting so much good material and, if I haven't mentioned it before, thanks for CD Baby.

Later,

M.

Love this so much.

Thanks Derek. I will be sharing this with my friends. Its always good to have a reminder to get out of your comfort zone and reach out to new people.

It took me many years to learn to connect. I used to be shy and thought no-one would want to connect with me or even know about me.

Many years later I have a completely different view on life. I worked for many years as an architectural lighting designer based in the UK. I touched the lives of many people in the profession and ended up as President of the 'International Association of Lighting Designers' based in Chicago. People around the world wanted and sought to connect with me.

Now I am a writer on men's issues I took the same approach. A couple of years ago I flew from the UK to Boulder, CO, to attend a small conference on men's issues. I was immediately catapulted into prominence in the niche because I had taken the trouble to go.

All it takes is an ear to the ground, and a willingness to step out into your vulnerability, just what you did with the pizza. Thanks for your wisdom and your encouragement.
How cool! Great example. Thanks for posting that. — Derek

Very true! I recently opened my eyes..

What was going through your mind when you knew that Mark needed to eat, Derek? What was your motivation?
Combination of altruism and opportunism. — Derek

I just love these updates/insights. Thank you! :)

I will pass this on to some of the young people that are asking me for advice!

Derek, I can't express how glad I am I read this (..and that you wrote it, of course!)

Thank you.

Hi Derek, as in your graphic, a smile goes a long way.

Certainly could relate to this. I created a small repository of useful HTML snippets for Twitter Bootstrap ( http://bootsnipp.com ), shared them for free with the world and got so many awesome connections that I could have never expected. 6 months forward - the world knows about me (186 countries visit Bootsnipp) and people constantly ask me for partnerships, etc.

I really enjoyed this post and sent it to a few friends that I think could benefit from hearing it from some one besides me!

I'm genuinely curious about people and often strike up conversations with strangers who often times turn into great friends or connectors.

What I hadn't given much thought to was doing it online and I can't wait to reach out to some people I admire locally...maybe we can go get pizza :)

Never have gotten a solid attribution on this quote, but but as I heard it, Mark Twain said
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great"
Thanks Derek.

Love it
So true! Connecting with people is the best part of life!

Yes, yes, yes. This is how my life works, too. A constantly expanding network of loving connections, some met online, some met through circumstance, and the upshot is a constantly expanding career as an author/illustrator and singer/songwriter - in my 60s. My favorite quote from YOU is "If you want to know how to get somewhere, call the destination." Thank you for sharing your directions with all of us, again.

Well said Derek and what a great reminder. In the current age, space still matters to some extent, but the ability to connect on a genuine level matters so, so much more.

Thanks again for the great reminder & inspiration...

Love this Derek! This really lifted me up. Thank you!

Derek,

Great article! Thanks for posting this for us.

Josh.

Thank you for sharing that story and insight. All your posts are inspiring and I always look forward to reading them. I haven't yet met my goals, but I'm working hard, and I'm hungry to learn. I'm also now hungry for pizza.

Great , Derek .

I have an executive coach that continues to remind me of very similar advice: Success isn't just who you know, it's who knows you. And most importantly - "it's the stories that influential people tell about you because you've earned thier trust." Look back on your life, your career and your relationships and recognize how true this observation is. Thanks for a great post Derek.

Whether you're visiting Iceland, Shanghai, Rio, Japan, or Silicon Valley, you've got a wonderful network of connections to call on—so when in Rome, do as the Romans do, and if you're anywhere near ennwhycee/nawth jerzee, holla...
Heheheh... Hi Raymond! Long time! — Derek

Where do you want your pizza delivered? :P

Thanks for sharing this! Love this story and insights. It's all about listening and being thoughtful. You are gifted at that.

Derek,

Very good story. I will always remember it. I gave a teeshirt of mine to a good Celtic musician, and he rememered it!
Doris

Derek, I hope all is well. Great article and I agree that another reason I am glad I know you. With you in my network it keeps me motivated to do what I can to help others. Keep the words coming.

Hi Derek,

Great share mate.

You gave to the presenter, you gave to your mates, and you gave to the organizer of the event - by investing in 3 pizzas.

Every day I ask two questions, "what am I thankful for" and "how can I give". Those two questions have opened the floodgates to blessings and opportunities - for me and for those whom I serve.

Just like your gift of 3 pizzas, continues to give to your readers today.

Blessings mate, I am thankful for your shares,

Mr Twenty Twenty
Melbourne, Australia

Simple, easily said than done, your move with the pizza was bold. I think boldness has to added in the equation.

From a long time cook, mom, and bandleader, that's the first thing I would have thought of as well. They're hungry. Get food. It's so simple. And often it's how so many communities begin. It's not about "finding" a need, so much as recognizing a need, and then filling it. Or so it seems.

I love that story Derek!

Its sort of the same ... we built our business on 'going the extra mile' which is a bit like ordering pizza! For example: we have several large clients who have resulted from spending some time helping them when they were students ... educational software as very low profit, but often has the greatest support needs. Still they are customers! Several of these have contacted us years later and they are now VPs in companies ... and they remembered.

We will be launching new personal information software in June ... perhaps I will contact you to see how you could help :-)

Thank you for your story this evening. It seems to boil down to being "aware" and tuned in to people. The difference between most people and you in your story is that you listened and met a need whereas most folks think "That's not my problem" or "I don't want to get involved." Listening and serving/doing differentiates and ultimately blesses. Good stuff Derek!

Halluuu
A friend of mine that I am writing a book/script with introduced me to Peter Rafelson who now is a friend. Never thought.
He will be producing our album for the book/ movie. the more people you meet the more you meet.
Want to buy me a pizza?ha
Ted

Top article Derek. Underlines the principle of "give first, ask later" in building relationships. In my limited experience its better to start out giving. If you then have chance to ask later for something then thats great. If you dont it doesnt matter because you gave, and helped someone. Its real win-win in action.

Keep the keyboard warm Derek - always enjoy your articles.

Matt... now in Guangzhou.

I like this.
Thank you, Derek.

Totally, totally, totally agree. I won't bore you with stories of my own that confirm your take on this, but I easily could. Great post, thanks Derek.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO DEREK:

Hi Derek - My name is Steve McLoone, owner of Indie label ULTIMASONGS Records, USR, LLC.

My new artist: www.solomonwitherspoon.com has found a new music world in children with chronic or terminal illness (Sandy Hook school connection and an ophanage in Uganda) .

I would love to share that info (website will offer a good intro) and possibly discuss this arena for some of your charitable organizational efforts.

I hope to hear from you. Steve 612-636-6981

Thanks Derek! I'm a female blues harmonica player and in 1998 when I first started taking my music 'out' I'd go to jams, sign up, and watch the night end without being called to play. Oops, wrong gender. Somebody told me "It's who you know. You gotta bypass those guys." So I gave it some thought. My harmonica hero is Big Walter Horton. Steve Freund, the last guitarist to play for Big Walter, lives close by and often gigged at a local venue. So, feeling terrified but determined, I took a tape of me playing Big Walter tunes to Steve's gig, waited for the band to break, went up to Steve, and stood there holding the tape out. Steve said kindly "What? You want guitar lessons?" I said "No, I want lessons how to play harmonica for a real blues guitarist." He took the tape, telephoned a few days later, and said "OK, you're on!". We spent about six Mondays sitting in his living room playing old blues and I got to hear some great Big Walter stories. Then Steve started inviting me to come sit in at his gigs. The first time I got up to play the women in the audience hooted and hollered for joy. As months went by Steve kept inviting me to sit in and I got to meet and play with his amazing blues legend friends as they came through the San Francisco Bay area.

Now, years later, I'm still honored to share the stage and even record with those guys and when I drop in at blues jams I get invited to play. Derek's right. I had to meet someone who would understand where I was coming from and help me break through the gender barrier by making it a non-issue.

Derek - whenever I hit a barrier in my music I come back and read your encouraging words. Thanks for giving back. Please don't stop.
Beth
www.myspace.com/bethkohnen

Thanks Derek. This is a wonderful advice and reminder.

I can recall a saying from Jim Rohn along the line of "It's good enough to say 'I'll do it'; but it's really powerful when some come together and say 'Let\'s do it'."

Happy Lunar New Year from Vietnam.

Thanks Derek.

Connection is everything. And follow-up is everything after that.

The last three months of my life have been spent in Brazil building the relationships we began to forge during our first visit there 8 years ago.

Back then, we arrived as a bossa nova cover band, intent on learning as much as we could about the music. On this, our third trip, we returned as composers, peers and bandmates with some of the musicians we've respected and admired for many years. Because we reached out. And we kept reaching out, staying informed, being interested and interesting.

The relationships we've nurtured (mostly online), have borne the most wonderful fruit - deep and abiding friendship with musicians who have helped change our world. That they happen to be among the most adored and admired musicians in Brazil is really secondary to everything else. We connected with people who believe in sharing and spreading the message of music and unity around the world.

We've had an experience that's changed how we perceive ourselves, and what we're capable of when we're hooked in to this incredible network of people.
We are LOVING where things are at right now!

Thanks for yet another great read.

Dbaby,

Hung with a friend in LA recently - many kind things were said about you.

I think Mr. Ferriss was on to something when he said to go lie down in a public place a couple of times to get the juices flowing.

Oh, and it seems like your 50pop currency thinking might have some synergy with my buddy Arthur's currency work: http://www.artbrock.com/taxonomy/term/11.

I totally agree. I live in the middle of the desert of Israel, and I have met so many wonderful people on-line who have helped me with my business. I assist people who do great things with writing books and creating on-line courses so they can quickly grow their business and increase their income. I would love to share the blessing by helping you, too!

Great article. Tim Ferris had a great point very similar to this that you can meet anyone if you really tried. Connections are there, just have to find them. Thanks for reminding everyone of this

That's a great story Derek. Thank you for sharing it.

Best,

Bobby

Derek,
First of all, I want to thank YOU for connecting with me & making time to reply to my emails.
This proves that you walk your talk!

You make it sound so simple, and it becomes simple when we look at it from that perspective.
But making stuff simple and easy for others to follow is an art that you possess.
I couldn't agree more with you on connecting with people. One link & you are in a different world. Happened to me some 27 years ago.

Keep inspiring.
Keep guiding.
Keep motivating.
Don't forget you have a friend in Pakistan as well!

Stay blessed. Stay happy!

Perfect.

Derek--great article. I genuinely appreciate your simple and clear insights. My biggest conquest online so far was brought about by bumping into great people and making the most of their circle of friends.

Please keep the inspiration coming.

Wonderful Derek! I agree with what you mentioned in the article. My experience tells the same especially in software testing and training fields. You have to surround yourself with inspiring people who will help you to move on to success.

The power of technology brings ideas and works together.

People can connect all over the world. It may even be possible to transcend the barriers of age and appearance as well.

Sure, there will be old-fashioned fuddy-duddys who won't take your work seriously unless you live in LA or NYC, but would you honestly want to work with someone who isn't open to new things?

Actually Derek, you've got it backwards.

Oh sure, the old cliche in the entertainment business used to be "It's not what you know, it's who you know".

And some particularly vulgar Hollywooders twisted that old saw by adding that it is actually "Who you blow".

But I would argue that you've made the case for my own version of the old rule; because as you've proven in your career, and on this internet of social media,

". . .nowadays though, it's who knows you!" . . . and that is profoundly different.

Great article, Derek. It was especially nice getting to reminisce about Supreme's!

This really reinforces the lesson that you should always be nice to people and, especially, helpful. The world, not to mention the music industry, would be a whole lot nicer if people just did things for each other without expectations.

Absolutely agree with this 100%.

I wrote an article about two artists I admire and how they demonstrated the potential of making a living from music sales, and I'm now connected to both of them.

People are people. If you provide something of enough value (which could simply be your reach) then there's no reason they won't be interested.

What a great way to start the Lunar New Year! Thanks for the reminder Derek. I definitely need to get out of my comfort zone and make the progress I want to see happen.

Derek this is wonderful! You are definitely one of those people that keeps creating great stuff and posting it for everyone to see! I'm glad that I am being exposed to your works at the age of 22 with a lot of life ahead of me..

"Luckily, who you know is up to you, not luck."- Love this

Derek

My thoughts last week:

http://societyforcommunitylearning.wordpress.com/

We can have a real time global dialogue which to my knowledge was never ever possible in the past

Thanks for your thoughts

Best wishes

JM

Hey Derek -
When you were the owner at CD Baby we emailed each other a few times. I hope you still remember me. I am Darian Stavans from Mexico City.
When I began selling my music through your company you were more than a hero to me, unreachable as you say in the article. After emailing a few times we became friends, and when I say friends is because I broke then the mith that you live in the moon and I was nothing in comparison to you. "It´s not only what you say is also how you say things that truly turns 360 degrees the approach".
I always say that we just do on a daily basis our work. Success is measured by the others. Just keep doing things, if it is creative stuff, there will always be someone interested in it and you will always feel that is still not enough, because you are always feeling you are doing your next step.
It´s all true Derek, nobody lives in the moon. If you can break that archetype, all connections appear.
Warmest regards.

Darian Stavans.

Hi Derek, as always love reading your insights . So glad to have finally met you at ink last year .
I fortunately do know many amazing people but have never called upon anyone :( . Just being in their presence and getting to know them (ie) people like yourself is such a gift that I am completely fulfilled in their company :))) . Looking forward to seeing you and your lovely family again. Hugs and a very happy year of the snake .

I'd add to what you said that, sometimes, even though it's intimidating, it's ok to make a sincere attempt to reach out cold to someone, who might be a good connection. People seem to resonate with sincerity quite a bit and I've made multiple connection by simply reaching out when I felt was appropriate :)

Thanks Derek! Great image of you sprinting to order pizza! It will stick in my mind along with the gist of all that followed. Inspiring, indeed!
Saskia

i'm from Cambodia, and i am a stranger! i totally agree with what you have said!

Ha! You're a super currency banker as well!

Regular currencies are only a mechanism for accounting or measuring the value of something.

Super currencies, have unlimited value and can't be measured or accounted for.

These currencies are printed or created by sharing and helping others.

My friend Bob Bishop, Chairman & CEO, International Center for Earth Simulation (Geneva) and Scientific Advisory Board, Human Brain Project is the Central Bank.

Fortunato Vega

So true, Derek....it really is all about people, and the respect we show towards each other.

good story, hope it works for me :)
thank you!

Derek, we connected a few months back via e-mail.

Technology makes it easier for people to connect, but also makes it cheaper for a musician/producer to create their own work without spending hundreds or thousands on gear/studio time.

Perhaps technology may even help people overcome the age and appearance obsession of the modern music business.

After all, while in the 60s and 70s there was bubble gum pop, we did have more risk-taking and the music side of the music mattered as much as the business side rather than business first, music later as it tends to be these days.

Now I want pizza. And to date Taylor Swift.

good post, great info, Skills I need to work on. You make it sound so easy. I wonder if some are better at it than others. Any more info in this dept.. could help.

I tell people all the time about the power of networking. I once gave a guy and his girlfriend a ride home when I was in San Diego. He puts on shows and keeps in contact and always let's me know, just let me know when you're in the area. I have tons of stories like that. Great piece Derek!

Your get it factor is so remarkable Derek. You put words to ideas everyone can see but haven't taken the time to name. Such a resource. Makes me want to create more and better yet, share it. Grateful just to be on your list.

Derek...always a timely controversy "...who you know..." vs what you know... I believe that what you know is interwoven tightly with what you DO to promote yourself and whatever your product is. And ....networking is a critical component to succeeding. No matter how innovative and brilliant you are ....if your innovation is not "seen" by the right people you are limited. The answer? ....get yourself in front of the right people. ....in short...become that individual that knows the "right" people. ;)

Ha! Derek, you're a super currency banker as well!

Regular currencies are only a mechanism for accounting or measuring the value of something.

Super currencies have unlimited value and can't be measured or accounted for.

Super currencies are printed or created by sharing your knowledge, experience and/or opening your networks to help others.

My friend Bob Bishop, Chairman & CEO, International Center for Earth Simulation (Geneva) and Scientific Advisory Board, Human Brain Project is the Central Bank.

Fortunato Vega

Your insights speak as much to picking your influences as well as courage to take action. It's the kind of thing that gives you a SXSW stage when not even invited. http://33charts.com/2012/03/are-you-ready-for-your-moment.html

So what are *your* toppings of choice?

Good, solid advice. Can I buy you a pizza?

I really have always enjoyed networking it definitely has opened many windows and doors...thanks for reminding us to keep growing our networks...great post derek!

Thanks Derek, it can be intimidating thinking about it as a hierarchal structure, who is appropriate and can contact whom...

Your post helps me remember that we are all just people and globally connected. To get recognized you have to create and add value to the communities and people you want to connect with people in.

Cheers,
Jamie

Interesting story. Thanks for sharing!

Thank for your great advices. I like the ideas being nice with others.

Yo Derek,
Couldn't agree with you more.We have a simular story.
I'm songwriter,producer,publisher.To keep the lights on I do radio promotion.So I'm working the phones one day I'am talking to this cat.His name is Katz so says I "Any relation to The Katz's on Houston St in New York(Use to be my #1 place to eat before I went psudo vegan)any dude says "I'am a missed place jewish kid stuck in Calafornia & I would kill for a great brisket sandwich from Katz's Deli.COme to find out the guy has a fledging little record label called "Rendvous Records" with a little artist name Dave Koz.SO being the soft hearted,cunning business guy I am,I over nite him a $70.00 hunk of Katz's brisket & 2 gallons of egg cream mix(if you lived in Ny you know what I'm talking about.Any way to this day when ever Dave Koz is in Philadelphia area I have 2 front & center tickets at will call waiting forme ;-)

ps I met you hanging out with Carolyn & Mr Bailin(of Dick makers)at a Indie convention around Houston st.& in3 days I release my first product feat. me & my guest on cd baby.DEEP!!!!! PEACE

hey! I know you, we met in Washington, D.C (2006) at the future of music conference! haha, hey Derek thanks for the good words man, we really appreciate it. Good advice = Priceless

You're a true Flat World Navigator Derek: a person who uses both traditional and innovative tools to connect and collaborate. I see the world as a great big cocktail party, and you're both a great guest and a fantastic host!

Thanks, Derek! All I can say is your articles just inspire me to keep at it. Despite being blind, I was a successful teacher and successful musician. Now as I am growing older, I am enjoying the potential existing on the internet. For staying connected with people and marketing my music. I am glad I met you!

Authors that YOU referred, as well as your blog posts over the years, have inspired me to create online musical educational content that is now featured on PBS TV! "Build it and they will come"...
Thanks Derek! Next time you're in Atlanta, I owe you some serious pizza!

I completely agree with this article. Our company, lucidroutes.com is almost 100% based on past connections a cultivated relationships.

Derek,

Almost like you were writing this to me!

I have been pretty much been living under a rock for a while. Or... maybe living like a hermit. Get up in the morning, kids off to school, off to work, kids home from school, eat dinner, go to bed. How did I get so boring?...

None of this was on purpose. Just sometimes life kicks you so much, for so long, when the day is done, you just want it to be done, and over.

I can now see, that by not reaching out to new people, and building new relationships, that can really limit your future, and cause you to get caught in a rut.

Thanks.

Eric Foster

Great post Derek. It's a pretty inspiring when you're around the right people. I can't say I'm surrounded by successful people, but I remember going to a seminar in December that was filled with them and it's pretty amazing the differences in mindset.
That being said I "meet" the most incredible people online and it's almost "weird" how interconnected a lot of them are and now they're a part of my life now.
I'm adding my own great content to this great internet myself and hope inspire others to do the same.

Hi Derek: great post. Wanted to 1) reinforce the point that it is critical to try to GIVE, not just receive. I try to keep my radar up for how something I see, hear or read might benefit someone I know. This cements relationships.(You've seen me practice that.) Also, as great as online contact is, it's always great to meet up in the real world when possible. A single meetup for coffee or lunch can massively solidify a relationship.

Yo Derek,
Them damn Grammy sucked again this year.Ont SOny ever wins.
Like the Little Rascals used to say"Hey KId Let Put on A Show"Let do a Indie Music Award show & let some of the really,really talented folks get some shine.Let talk.PEACE

I always feel better having read a post of yours, and I'm hoping your outlook is contagious. Also, every time I come here and see that pic of you, I think of a young john Lithgow.

This is a wonderful story Derek. It says so much about being of service to others as a first priority, and that when we give for givings sake the Universe responds.

It reminds me to keep showing up in generosity. And gratitude. Even when its looking really scarce out there, which for me now in some domains it is.

Generosity, heartfelt, unencumbered. As a practice. As a way of being.

Many thanks,

warmly,

Christine

That's exactly the way I live! I couldn't imagine my life otherwise.

Derek, it seems that you always read my mind.

My story is a tad long to tell here, but after 11 years of virtual (never met in person) friendship, I'm starting something big and bold with my aforementioned friend... Even though he's in Kansas City,MO. and yours truly in Strasbourg, France.

Hi Derek,

Thanks for this terrific post. Good advice. I try to post great content on my website every day. Now, I'm reaching out to a potential friend: you!

Actually, let's make that plural: I'm reaching out to potential FRIENDS, you and any other of your like minded subscribers.

I'm a 61 year old wife, mother and mountain woman in East Tennessee. I'm a one woman operation from my little recording studio behind my house in the woods.

Derek, I did not discover songwriting, poetry, photography or recording until after age 50. I'm here to testify that there IS life after middle age and it's never too late to reinvent oneself and contribute something good to the world. We're all here to contribute.

Thanks for being so generous with your insights.
Good night, from East Tennessee, Martha Maria (aka Dogwood Daughter)

Interesting story, I like it, you're a storyteller and you do this very well.

I like your idea of being connected to a lot of different people and share with them what you have to offer and vice versa. Definitely cool.
Are these people friends? It depends on how you define friend.
Would you share your secrets with them?
Would you receive help if you're in a mess and don't have a shelter anymore, nothing to eat, look like a beggar, stink like a skunk?
May be not, but you never know until you face such a situation.

There is a saying in a korean movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rm-U7OrEeQ) which goes something like:
If you laugh the world laughs with you, if you cry you cry alone.

For me a friend would be someone who would share both situations with me.

I only have two friends and of course my family. I know they are there for me to share the laughs and the cries.

Probably I read to much Zen books and meditate not enough, LOL.

Thanks for your thoughts and live a happy life.
MFB

Shoot, Derek. I've got to add those three things to my list before I cross them off! (I'm just the kind of person who has do that when I have a list in front of me.)

I think I've heard you tell this story before and four things come to my attention now:
1) You were compassionate when seeing Mark Fried's situation; and
2) you took a creative, practical action in response (that also was good for the rest of the class);
3) you remembered what he offered; and
4) You trusted that he meant it.

Finally, your awareness of how the people around you changed your world view is very important for me to ponder right now, as I both remember who to thank for their influences on me, and notice who is new to the "room" that I just know will have a great story that I can't wait to hear, who will be an influence on me.

Thanks!

Another great one Derek! Hope all is well brother!

Most folks that have excellent networks want to hear from others that are passionate and may wish to have them be a mentor or "contact." It's what others have done for them thus, there is a need to pass it on. Bang on doors...

Be genuine, honest and do. If you want someone to listen, read or watch just "do" it - ask them to - "Do" is a word that you should live by.

Derek, thanks for your insight. You always share such great information to try to help artists move forward. I was told recently at a SAG orientation, "it isn't just who you know, but who you know that likes you". You made a friend by doing a good deed that showed your good character.

Hi Derak !

Thanks a ton for sharing your stuff online.
I work as a senior software engineer (computer science)in a product based comapny in India.

Before joining here I intended to do MS from a good unversity in US. but Because of some personal reasons I could not persue my dream.

But after reading your article , I think I still will be able to connect people online and expand by knowledeg base.
Thanks again.

Regards,
Asmita

I've had several opportunities that...the many successful people I've met at...the women I've tried again...all the pizza's I've wasted on was a sin...nothing... Wrong topping, wrong day but I did my best to big to digest...but I never give up...that's what I do, I draw, write work and play, it's just another day and I smile all the way!!

I think you're right!

I needed to read this tonight. Probably my favorite of your posts. Thanks Derek!

Good stuff man thank you
Do you happen to know Mark Anthony the singer and Andrea Bocelli looking to meet them

Goes to show the importance of creating great stuff.. As often as possible.. As a necessity to gaining the trust of people you want to connect with.

Great post Derek, thanks.

Thanks for sharing secrets.

Thanks Derek for writing this on the day of the Grammys. It is too easy for many of us to think, oh we will never be able to be nominated or win a Grammy. We often think that we will never get to meet industry people or find the right connection to get us in the door. But as you said, those connections are not as far away as we may think.We can all build friendships by going to music conventions , showcases and music venues. The real gem in your story was , You took action and made something happen.You took the risk and did what you felt was the right thing to do . You then built a strong friendship by following up on his offer to stay in touch. It is important for us to remember in this age of cyber-space that it is still important for us to reach out and build friendships the old fashion way , with a smile and a handshake.

Hi Derek,

We meet again, through simple but meaningful stuff you have here.

It keeps us connected, so thank you for sending it to my email address.

I'll share this article to my friend, thumbs up!

See you later.

Best,
Alexander

Love your writings, as always! I think I'll write you an email now..

Thanks, Derek! This also resembles the story of how I just sent you an email and you were kind enough to invite me to your house, for a Christmas party. Then we became friends, from then on:) I believe in creating your own opportunities but at the same time luck plays a role in it, too. If you have both, then magic happens!

Great advice！I consider meself as one who don't connect to others much. Now I think this situation has to be changed. Thank you~

Thank you mate, for such an awesome post!!

Surely gonna try it out

Solid Gold in NewYork is NOT necessarily referring to a single with a groove-
Could be a needle with a hoove!!! Poetry about opium et. al. HA !

Hey Derek...I always look forward to reading your timely and brilliant thoughts... Great writing. I joined National Speakers Association a year ago...loving it.. surrounding myself with like minded people.. I'm speaking more... and getting closer to finishing my book... Get UP....Get OUT... and Get Your MOVE ON.... At 73, it's still great fun to learn, be around successful and amazing people, continue to entertain...write..while building a speaking career. here is my latest release.. new album by the same title.. (still working on that too!) hope you like -

"Last of the Red Hot Mamas" (at 73) written and performed by Kay Seamayer.. to be used in an upcoming full length documentary, "Time Capsule" Hope you enjoy.. http://vimeo.com/33201307

Keep writing... sharing with us! I want to be like YOU when I grow up! ks.

Thank you for writing this, Derek. It is so beautiful and encouraging.
p.s i like the fact that you mention Taylor Swift :-)

This is exactly the article I was supposed to write about connecting with Derek Sivers, which changed the way I view the world (online and offline).

Righteous post man.. couldn't agree more.. Some of my best friends are people I just took a chance on.. shot them a random email because I enjoyed what they were doing, and wanted to let them know it was moving me. This truly works.

-Joe

Thank you for your inspiring thoughts- I love your way at looking at the world.

Perfect. Thanks!

Cliche Update: 'It's who you know who likes Pizza!'

So true Derek. When I was a bicycle racer, my first career, I always tried to be the weakest in the training group. Not by sandbagging but by seeking to catch on the tail of the fastest train, so to speak. I learned, suffered, and improved. Ultimately, I became the National Champion, turned pro, and was the first cyclist featured on the front of the Wheaties box (1988, 14 million boxes.) The same could be said for a music career I reckon.
!!! wow! — Derek

Reaching out can can be intimidating but you gotta put yourself out there. Thanks for all your insight and help.

Derek, thanks for pointing out for me exactly the path that I need to follow, although I don't know how to start yet because I'm still way too shy and short of language skills. But I will look for my chances to help others.
Thanks for inspiration.

I totally agree with you Derek. I have had similar experiences throughout my career and continue to connect with many people around the world. So, the best advice for young people is to be outgoing and network with talented influential people in their field using the current social media as well as honing their skills to the best of their ability so when special opportunities arise they will be ready to take them on full speed.

I have a similar story like this where I did the same for a speaker in my class and that helped me get my first job out of college which led to my new career path in College. Always nice to hear the stories of other successful people doing similar things :)

Derek

Another great post. As always, so insightful, yet so simplistic. Thanks.

I'd rather add value to the conversations here that date Taylor Swift.

Serious... Little actions like this have brought me ,onset of the success I've had.

Next time I see you, pizza on me :)

Hi Derek: So true. Sometimes I think my life has become so isolated. In some ways it has. Then I stop to realize how large the world is that I've connected to, even if not in a big, huge, massive way; in fact, it's just in a small way; but it's a connection to what's important to me. Interesting observation about creating, as part of the process; creating something of value, to then share, on a scale small or large. Local or global, they kind of go together, in many ways; online global is also online local. Great to be on your list here. All the best - Cam :-)

As always Derek you get to the heart straight away. It's the little things that people appreciate, especially when done without an agenda. Do the right thing and good things will happen to you. People love to help and as long as we can make that go around, everyone will be happier.
Always look forward to the insights....cheers Ollie.

We are, as humans, naturally generous and altruistic. It is trained out of us pretty young.
Rediscovering these inherent qualities brings us all closer to where we need to be: connected, creative, vibrant and enthusiastic.
It's always a joy to read how you discover these truths in your life, Derek, and to see how you reach out to teach and mentor others.
I've gotten jobs and enormous opportunities from reaching out.
Request:
A story on how you deal with the jealousy and envy engendered by your success.
I've just been dealing with the insidious poison of gossip from envy, from a person I did absolutely nothing but good.
This bewilders me and I would love to read how you have managed.... Even any of those you mentored here!

From my mountain in Vermont, I'm grateful that our virtual paths have crossed a few times. I particularly needed to hear this right now. Thank you Derek!

I just watched an inspired video talking about how to be success. It's said Results is equal to Happiness, Health and Wealth. I think Derek is a good example. He was a lovely happy boy when he ordered the pizza to someone who just needed it.

Here is my pizza Ad : My newest release CD "Autumn Spectacle" got highest score from UK, US musical reviews from the aged group 35 - 44, male. and all the gender from 16 - 35. Someone may need to order this "Pizza" for V-day or the rest 300 days.

Hi Derek, thanks for an inspiring article. We don't realize what power we have. Somehow we think our success (at whatever) depends on other people and of course money. We shouldn't forget that it's "our fault" if we fail!!! It all starts with oneself!

Thanks again.

This is related loosely -- but I've always been a fan of your incredibly welcoming/personal writing. It's always seemed like a conversation (albeit asymmetric) with someone I trust.

To this end, when it came time for one of my bands to use a third party online distributor to get our music all over the web, it was CDBaby, no contest. Though I seriously considered and explored other options, I always thought 'CDBaby is Derek's baby, and I trust Derek 'cause he's a homie. Yeah, we'll give the "kid" he raised our money'.

I digress somewhat -- and I should probably email you to try connect :) -- but that's also a great product of putting great stuff online - that trust factor.
Thanks Motheo. I really appreciate it. — Derek

I can really appreciate this post, and agree totally. My main focus is to open up more, and offer more of myself to the world. This has been an issue for me for most of my life because my environment has giving me trust issues.

Simply - Be Great

Derek, As always, timely in your information and thought! I love starting the day with this! Thank you! Ron

Derek,
This is simply brilliant. I couldn't agree more. I spoke at MIT Boston a few weeks back and actually mentioned you, because of your idea around sitting classes when YOU are ready (maybe even graduating early!)
Keep up the excellent work.
Love it.
Thor.
Ps how did I, a Scottish business owner get a gig speaking at MIT... I knew someone who knew someone and i pitched that 2nd person a one page email :)

Awesome post. That has given me the shot of inspiration I needed to spread the site I created. I spent a lot of time putting it together and then once it was done, I froze. Time to shake out of it and get the word out. Thanks Derek!

I agree. It's actually easy to meet great people anywhere if you put effort and create value. That's what I've experience since I'm out fo the Valley. I do try to keep connections there and I do want to go back. But it's not a requirement!

I started building a website that features stories of people being successful outside of the valley and it's been fun so far.

Yvan
beyondthevalley.co

Hi Derek,
My take on your wonderful post is that it's not at all who you know, but what you do and how you do it. Buy pizza, make calls, meet people, create stuff and share it with others... all with a genuine interest in other people. The by-product of this is, of course, that you'll get to know people. Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by people who do nice things in a nice way?
Ville

And you find out that the people who are successful are people, just like you. They are also more than likely practical, malleable and doers. Not necessarily at all what you might have expected before meeting them. Taylor Swift might just be a goofball once you get to dating her. You never know. It's good to see you met a great guy simply because you did a nice thing.

Cheers Derek

Great post Derek. Any one of your classmates could have ordered that pizza, but you did. And that made all the difference. Great learning here.

It also makes me understand that networking is different from forming relationships and that relationships, as many as anyone may have, could only be loose but they're still relationships to nurture and grow.

Thanks for making me think, yet again.

Makes so much sense Derek! A closed hand can not receive anything. We have to reach out as you have suggested.

Peace & Love
Matt

I won't give up on the dream of dating Taylor Swift. She's just working through a couple of other losers to get to me ha ha!

Thanks a lot for the article man, great reminder :)
— Derek

It is totally true. I subscribe what you wrote and would just say that , today more than ever , the magic word is the key that opens lots of doors.
Thank you is the magic word
Thank you Derekbfor sharing this.
Ciao
Fabio

Some great advice here, and some good reminders. Nothing more to say, just leaving a message of thanks and support. :-)

Hi Derek, We met at the London Troubadour and I'm the old busker.
Being a mainly protest singer with slightly left wing songs, I've experienced totally closed doors from local newspapers owned by the right wing Daily Mail!
Without this publicity, it is almost impossible to get the attention of TV companies and their viewers!
I've managed to get on TV once, by contacting and visiting them directly and also doing a similar thing with a small, local newspaper out of the city.
My recent songs started with 'George Bush Blues' followed by 'Can You Spare Some Change Mate' and 'You Gotta Vote.'
More recently, new songs have been 'Big Society Bull' and anti-drone song 'Killing Machine.'
While drones might be necessary, they should be used far more accurately than killing women and children by mistake.
I've tried to contact American politicians but doubt if the Physical CDs even reached them.
The Obama team think I live in America and always ask for my donations but never reply to my emails because I don't have their zip code and an American address!
The local BBC did not even reply to my email about a Radio spot to promote 'Killing Machine.'
However, it does have an AMAZING video done by an professional animator.
I've decided I need to pay for someone to promote my website and to stop writing anti-establishment songs, which keep me 'invisible!'
Thanks, Derek, for enabling my brain to start to come to some conclusions, I once had a significant stroke and have almost been killed by bad medics more than once, having had my heart cut open twice!
However, I'm still kicking and have just had a heart ablation to stop my atriums fluttering at the ripe old age of seventy one.
Willy Nelson's still going strong as far as I know and so am I.
Maybe, I've found my own advice, but any other suggestions would be recieved with gratitude in over one weeks time when my computer is back from repair and deletion of all of my emails to date, which apparently are slowing things down.
However, you must be far too busy to have the time etc. for this realistically.
My new album 'Rollercoasting With Dennis Derby' is out now but few downloads are happening, which is probably the case for most singer songwriters.
Keep smiling!

Hey Derek,
Liked this post and a good reminder to surround yourself with people who are affirming your goals. The quote I always liked is, we are the composite of the 5 people we most associate with. Pretty scary and/or awesome.

Thanks Derek, you make it easy for anyone to build connections by showing us first hand how to
1.build a bridge
2.walk on it
Finland is also available for the travel list, we got some pizza too ;)

When you are reaching out, practise makes perfect as they say. I have a goal to talk with 2 business owners every single day, just to engage, understand what drives them and to practise connecting.

It was really, really daunting at first, but after a few months it is almost second nature. You can warm up for this by just saying hello to strangers, by singing, by looking people in the eye (briefly!). These all warm up our 'social muscles' and get us into the connecting habit.

Once you have this warm up routine for a few days then just build a basic lit of interesting but non invasive questions - things that make them go hmmmm? as the song says.

You get social, build connections, learn new things, feel great!

All of this started for me after I commenced blogging. One day I reached out to a poster of content who really hit the spot for me and darn if he did not get back in 12 hours, with suggestions and encouragement. This happened again and again.

It changed how I live, and now I try help others do the same.

Yes of course that epic poster was one Derek Sivers ;)

I am forever grateful to you

Very nice article & very good advice. I write poems so I am sure of doing this. Creating good content & sharing it on web. Thank you.

Anybody in a sales related field (and we are all in sales in one way or another!) should understand the power of networking.

It's possible to forecast the income you can generate in sales by knowing the details of your network or database. For example a certain number of action events will lead to a certain number of leads and when you multiply the number of leads by your conversion percentage and then by the average client value you can arrive at a predicted value of each action event (which might be something like 1 phone call to a prospective client for example) then it's just a case of doing enough action events to reach your desired income!

Some very successful sales people know their maths very well and others are just naturals in that they are always connecting or seeking to touch their connections in a helpful way.

Consistency of connecting is an important point, some times it can take a certain number of touches, say 12+ before someone is ready to do business with you or trust you and also you are always seeking to "give" multiple times before you "ask" for anything.

Agree 100%.

"The people you surround yourself with don't just open doors. They change the way you think, and change your self-image of your capabilities!"

A network of connections is like the old Rolodex - a box of contacts waiting for opportunity, but whether and how they are used will differ, depending on who's accessing. There's the issue of qualifying the occupants of said database. You have business cards, ostensibly with the critical information on each, but is the info really complete? Immediate impressions, longer term exploration and discovery (articles, posts, etc.), the knowledge and insight of others - all help to cement the substance of any relationship you wish to develop. Of course, intuition helps, too.

Excellent advice! I am amazed at how you live your life. You truly are a remarkable person and I hope one day our paths will cross.

Mmmmmmmmm, Supreme Pizza. Mmmmmmmm.

Great post, we hear this all the time (who you know), and it's important to remember how easy it is to make new friends if you give it a try.

I recently got back from my first trip to NAMM. It was an eye opening experience and made me realize how long its been since I made a new friend. It wad also pretty cool to travel across the country to a place you've never been and meet people you already know or know through one or two degrees of separation.

Surrounding yourself with successful people is key, like you said! Thanks again.

This is very true. When i have fight my natural leave-me-alone-attitude and went to meet people and was open to them and listening, cool things have often happened and great connections were made. Thanx for making me remember that !

Didn't know you played with Sakamoto. Congrats !

jm

Made my day! Thanks for being so simple in your writing!

On a side note this read has inspired me to share my thoughts online with the world (something I have shied away from all this time) :)

It's an honour to be party to your insights and learning from the many useful comments afterwards, Thanks. Time to find one positive thing to do in the right direction...

Hi Derek,
I like this article. You are on point with your advice. Building and maintaining that same relationship has to be a priority as well. You need to pursue those friendships and be patient and warm in your correspondence to those you are interacting with. Always be polite, don't push too hard and being a good friend and citizen will always leave an aquintence with a good feeling about your character.
Good job.

That's an entertaining story about a life changing opportunity. The most important thing to consider is that every other student had the same opportunity to to network with and be remembered by Mark Fried.
If you don't take advantage of opportunities when they are offered nothing will happen and years later you will remember the occasion with regret.
Or worse you will moan to your family about people no more talented than yourself who are successful because of,"Who they know, not what they know".

Hi Derek,
That was an awesome article!
World needs such thoughts and people.

Juhi.

Outside of you, everyone I've met have been flakes. Nobody I met really came through with anything they talked about and rarely returned emails or messages.

Derek.

I met you through a friend who I in turn met online who I in turn met because I started sharing what I do day in day out on a little insignificant blog. Turns out its popular, profitable and has expanded my personal network more than anything I've done in the last 10 years prior.

Make sure you get your ass up to visit again soon...otherwise I guess it might be our turn to visit you in your new home.

This is encouraging. Friends of mine do not understand why I reach out to strangers I admire. This makes me feel like I'm not a freak. Thx.

Thank's Derek.

This was very inspiring reading. Nice attitude.

Best

Micke B

A great musical force to network with is the great Lord Litter! His shows are fantastic, original and radio that is elevated by *Lack of adherence to strict genres*. Maybe bad for money but dynamite for art! Google Lord Litter!

No time to meet people sometimes, too much music to make!

Good luck!

Hi Derek,

Great article! Ms. Joey said that she met you when you were first starting up in Portland.

I totally get what you are saying about who you know. Tonight I had a fantastic evening at the PNW Grammy viewing party. It was an amazing evening! The most exciting part of it tonight was in being able to connect the dots for people.

Just getting out to the local Networking events, you never know who you are going to connect with.

Thanks again for your great newsletters. I enjoy reading them. :-)

Trina R Sellers
Artist Manager for
Ms. Joey Marguerite

There are moments that made me wonder if the ability of communicating with people you don't physically know is getting the attention it deserves. And by that I mean, I am free to tweet or reply to someone but I always feel like they'll face-check me; They'll use filters that belong in another place and time to filter out people in a place where you care less about color, ethnicity and sex but for the information given: The web.

I love your article as it hints that people should stop focusing on the physical constraints and embrace this exciting reality and potential that they're living in. I can't imagine myself how I would be without being able to communicate with like-minded people online. I would be doomed to have my mind crafted around the accessible instead of the desirable.

Thank you for your post.

You often come from a totally different world then me. But still a lot of your advice helps me a great deal. Thanks a lot! :)

So how does one determine whether the connection is going to be worthwhile beforehand?
Is there any surefire way to do that without wasting time/money?
Not to sound cynical but the desired result is to find people who can help you get somewhere.

Interesting. Never really though about it but you're right.
Maybe i should make more friends. I'm quite antisocial I just read pleople's insight never really making my presence noticed.

Really great to read this article at this particular time. Success seems so distant until you hang around people and learn how to get things done.

I'm thankful to come across this post today, so thank you for writing it.

Cheers,

Chris

Great post, it helps a lot as student who's just discovering how things work in 'the real world'.

Someone contacted me lately, seeming almost entirely random, and I couldn't figure out what he wanted from someone like me (I don't know anyone). We exchanged a few emails, and that was it. He said I could reach out to him anytime, but I wouldn't know for what. After reading this post it makes much more sense.

And I must agree with Mark, the pizza was a good move ;)

Loved this! So true, reaching out and authentically opening yourself to heros works. Thanks Derek!

Thanks for the article!

> And you can do this from anywhere by creating great stuff online, and reaching out to potential friends.

I couldn't agree with you more. i think the stuff doesn't necessarily needs to be great, it can be even a little thing which helps someone. Sometimes these (invisible penpals) friends will be more reliable than college/school friends :)

If you connect to more and more people like this way, then you will realize "people are good no matter where they are from" :D

D-always an inspiration! hope you are well :) reminds me to stay connected to old friends, open to new, and to be genuine! -A

Can't tell you how much these words hit me, right now on this very day.
Thanks for sharing.
Doug

Derek what a great way of looking at relationships. When I travel I come across so many people. I never know whether I'll talk to them again so I ask them if they are on facebook (most are) and add them immediately. I've found facebook to be very effective in maintaining that connection. When I traveled to the US last year I actually filtered my facebook friends by location and reached out to many who I'd met in passing. As you mentioned in this post, many relationships lead to outcomes you cannot predict.

Amazing. Thanks

Thanks Derek sound advice. We all need support and advice. Being connected is certainly being visible. Keep the flame burning. Thanks Tim O'Shea Ireland

Derek, in your book you mentioned that your father had a business. Perhaps, your success started by copying great parents and then you went on to do your own things, then Warner Brothers...Noe I am reading "Influence" by Cialdini where he explains the principle of reciprocosity. You give unexpected pizza and get the job in return.

It seems you undestood that then. In one of your next posts could you write about the success mindset and principles?

As always inspiring.

Thanks

SO true. This is a most elleoquent and welcome, timely for me, reminder of the way this works.
Live long and prosper, enjoy and excel!

Nice article Derek and so true through meeting people and talking you never know where it might lead.

Music is a great leveller amongst people.

Thank you for this post, it's very inspiring.

It's true that really interesting people and projects are around the world and super available in the internet. Living in a small country like Portugal it is more easy for me to get my work known all over the world than in my small area country.

It's amazing how simple clicks can make a big difference!

Thank you for the post, I will share it on my networks.

Connecting is indeed step one, but you need to be in a positive mindset to make it work. The pizza story is a great example, you were on the ball and did something leftfield that the guy obviously appreciated and made you stand out. (While I didn't particularly do anything, I managed to be memorable to some key people just with my shoes :))

It just gets easier once you realize the worst that can happen is someone being a dick to you, and you'll find that will rarely happen - so just try. That's how I ended up meeting and befriending my favorite band - I walked to the venue of my first concert by them in the afternoon, heard some music I recognized, and found a door ajar and walked in on their soundcheck, and we got to talking after that (You are right about the internet - the fact that they recognized my name from their mailing list back in 96 definitely helped).

Not being a dick in return is key too - on their reunion tour last year they were still as gracious to me as ever, and I keep bringing new people to the shows, and enjoy seeing them starstruck backstage just as I first was all those years ago. I know they let me in because I'm considerate and respect their boundaries.

The same in Free Software - I met amazing people whose software I was using on a daily basis at conferences, and it turns out that simply getting them a drink to let them know you appreciate what they've done is all it takes. They in turn inspire you, and one day it's you at that conference getting bought a drink by someone else.

A lot of people call it luck, and would call your pizza story lucky, but it's just making the most of the situation by attitude - not calculated to get ahead, just simply to make good things happen around you. I'm sure you've done great things for people all the time around you (heck, you did for me), and a lot of those were just random acts of kindness that didn't necessarily lead anywhere. But you never know which of those is going to take root...

Truth

You've always been my YODA. Thanks for being there ;-)

there, you saw my name 3 times, how am I doing? : ) thanks derek, you are one of the most imspirational music biz writers I've run across. check out my website and let me know how it hits you ...'till next time.... jim

Yes - the idea I have is a 3 dimensional (molecular) relationship model, through which you can fly, that shows the strength and nature of relationships.

We have the ability to know that people are connected, but no insight as to how and why.

I think you're right on the money here Derek :)

I've tried that route and it helped a little, But not to the point where I could get my music out. Im still trying. You keep up your good work and thoughts. God will fix it.

I think you're totally right there sir. In the first instance seeing successful people and how they approach their life and career is a real insight. Seeing that its not some mystical magic that no mortal man could ever hope to achieve, but just a series of steps, as plain as anyone with a "normal" job would put themselves to. I was lucky to shoot some top level boxing and UFC for the press and got to know quite alot of top level fighters, and got the same sorts of insights. You are also spot on about just doing simple things (like ordering a pizza) and being open to where it leads, and that alot of connections are made online. Recently I recorded with Mark White (bassist from Spin Doctors) on his day off while the band toured the UK. I have kept in touch with him and been online friends for a long time, all because I sent an email to an address he put on the back of one of the Spin Doctor CDs. Imagine the mess and stress of trying to sort that officially through the record company channels etc. But personal contact, and the internet meant we could trade material beforehand, be in line with schedules and make it a very personal thing.

Is that Taylor Swift not datable though?

Mr.Will

Great advice re paying attention to the practical present as well as the cerebral "growth." I may add that the people to connect with are not the big cheeses, not "winners or losers" but useful and interesting. I was only discussing this with her Majesty this morning!!!!

very insightful and true! Thanks!!

1 year ago I listened to your podcast: CD Baby. It is a moving story. I reached out and sent you an email to thank you. You kindly responded and thanked me for my message. What was striking, you asked me what I was working on - Remarkable.
Keep the great insights coming Derek.
p.s. I wrote this piece here on networking I hope you and your readers enjoy:
http://contrariansmind.wordpress.com/2012/06/30/putting-our-heads-together-the-awesome-power-of-networking/
Best wishes from beautiful Barcelona,
Jeff

Every so often, a great relationship established by adding value to people first. And we need to truly believe in long term relationship instead of driving by transactional.
When the world is getting flatter and flatter, there is enoroumus chances to meet up with great people.
We need to actually participate in this global village by being active.

I saw a comment yesterday that seems quite appropriate by Kevin Halbert (son of the copywriter Gary) who said "Everyone wants to climb that mountain, but the difference between those at the top and those at the bottom is showing up tomorrow one more time to give it another shot". Who's the next hero you are going to connect with? Thanks for another inspiring share Derek.

Great article as usual - Anyone want to contact me ? feel free ?

Dave

So true!

Some time ago I visited an unfamiliar office building which offers shared office space. They also provide a general free office breakfast. Never was there but in 2 hours I got offers from two investors with business, I met about 5 business partners and saw old friends and acquaintances who would never have guessed that you will see a place like this.

Derek's story is a "true fact" :)

Thanks Derek for sharing inspiring story! Thanks for all your help and encouragement! 1

Derek...I have not emailed you in a few years but again you have given me inspiration! After three and a half years of dialysis, I received a new kidney on March 24,2012. While in dialysis, I decided to put out my 3rd CD. Being weak, I could not play like I wanted to but after the new kidney and a lot of exercise and encouragement the DREAM IS ALIVE!! Pizza for everyone especially YOU!! Thank you!!!

Derek, YOU are big hearted & have time for folks. I won't forget your trying to help my son Simon find some holiday accommodation in NY a few years back although you had only met us once (Scotland - CDBaby UK talks) You are a walking, living, breathing example to all music biz people and are generous with your time and advice etc - then as now Many thanks Andrew PS and there's always a bed for you here with us - Lake District Cumbria UK - just turn up BUT bring your own pizza!!

Talent is the given and discipline helps, but interaction is the key to success. You can create in a vacuum but then it must be shared and enjoyed. I also worked at Chappell and met everyone from James Brown to Alan J. Lerner. What a great experience!

Derek, just a quick hi. Indeed, that is how I sent and got my first mail from you and hopefully a couple more to come. Hopefully see you in July in Singapore, Tokyo or anywhere else.

Great post... Good motivation for the Monday morning. Thanks!

David Rosen

I learn, I laugh ... and afterwards I think. Thanks, I really did enjoy this article on many levels!

Also, I've been meeting 3 new people/week for 2 weeks now and I am overwhelmed with collaboration, friendship and inspiration. I haven't bought any well timed Pizza for anybody yet - but I'm sure that a moment will come and I'm excited to be that cleverly kind!

I'd love any recommendations on specific software, programs or simple ideas to keep all these different interactions manageable ~ I'm a classic case of a messy musician and having a hard time with it. (my little spreadsheet is not doing the job)


Making business personal, and musical makes me actually look forward to marketing and networking.

Hi Derek,
Yep, well put. Networking and sharing what you love and love to do with others is a great way to help yourself and help others, too. It's the way I've gotten most of my work over the years.

Important stuff for me to learn and practice. And I will share with my son who is working in the music business. Simple acts of kindness always pay off in some fashion.

Very inspiring derek, and such a good story. Just wish that everyone could have the drive to call in for a metaphorical pizza.

Thanks.

Great article, love when your thought's come thru.
I'm a serious " Hobby songwriter " doing creative work for Ad Agencies with another business I started 16 years ago. I've never tried
to get published although my wife started an outline for a book " Not good enough for radio " Chuck
White. I have so many life
changing stories thru these songs that I've written for the military , 911 , Hurricane Katrina ,
my wife my children, stories of Life, Love , Death . I get e-mails phone calls iTunes sales and it's always a life moving message just by creating & posting.

THANK YOU ! for your continued encouragement .

Chuck White
chuckwhitemusic.com

I suppose a random act of kindness (pizza or otherwise) doesn't hurt either :-)

Wow Derek, what an incredible story, felt deeply in the heart.

Thank you so much for sharing this and being an inspiration to so many, I love your articles...

Will remember your pizza story, always!
Ermina

Your email struck a chord with me. I work for the US Postal service (28 years and counting) and like to listen to inspirational books on tape. ...which is how I found you. Just want to thank you for sharing your life experience with others. I agree that giving yourself the chance to meet new people can make a big difference in your life.

My variation on this is simply that being nice will get you farther in life than being a dick.

Good stuff, Derek, and something I really needed. Now what to do with this kick in the pants.

To reach out to say hello to people you admire. That is a very important message you wrote and I can relate to how I came in contact with you.
At first it was a video on TED talk, then after seeing that you had great thoughts, I looked up your blog. Then I decided to send an email, surprisingly enough for me you wrote me back. Now it's a connection where you update me with the things you write and I keep relating to them all the time.
It is by reaching out people we admire that we get closer to becoming someone we admire ourselves.
Thanks for sharing your views with the world.

Thanks for the simple but direct way you said all this. I've been putting it off for years when it seems like such an easy and sensible thing to do. I guess it's just believing in yourself and taking that first step.

Who we are is often the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So spending time with and helping successful people tends to change us to be more successful. Conversely spending time with complainers and victims tends to make us fail too. So! Chose your friends and cowokers and spouse wisely! And I notice that when people change themselves either their circle of people change with them or they drop away as new people enter. And that is ok.

Derek I really enjoyed this excellent and true article - I have met some great people online and otherwise - there are no "small things." FYI, my website started about 11 years ago when I received an email that if I sent in 4 CDs and a Smiley Face to Disc Makers I would get a web page set up free. I couldn't believe it and called the office to double check - and the person on the other end said its true and don't forget the Smiley Face; I have always considered that one of my miracles during a sad time when I was at home taking care of my mom and was not able to promote my CD. You make a difference in this world Derek - please keep sharing your wisdom and good, heartfelt stories. And may God continue to hold you "In the Palm of His Hand." :)

Meeting people isn't enough, it is the follow up that makes all the difference. Thanks for illustrating that.
I am president of the Madison Songwriters Guild. I regularly try to help other songwriters get gigs both here in Madison WI and other places that I have had success.

Very good article on building relationships that impacts one's life goals! Kudos to you!

A very interesting article. All I can add is, that people run out of energy when their goals, especially songwriting, do not produce great results after many years. Sometimes you're energy has to be focused elsewhere.

Guy

All good, but never forget the one big business rule... Never confuse activity with productivity. You can waste days on social networks. Pick up the phone, go to a business network meetup. And play live!

Hey Derek
Oh so true about knowing somebody and opening so many doors. I actually introduced a bandmate from Friends Of Emmet to a good friend of your's Ray and his organization Impossible 2 Possible. It now turns out the band will have the I2P logo in their next video a win -win for both parties.Always enjoy your articles
Cheers

Thanks so much for your insight! It has helped me more than I can say!

Derek,
Thank you for this reminder. Sometimes it feels so daunting, not knowing where to begin, who to talk to, how to get that path to your bliss started. Then you remind us not only the importance of networking and meeting people but taking it a step further, actually connecting to others with value. Such a humanizing and important factor that benefits all parties over time.

S

Now we have a greater possibilty to connect with those with similar activities-if,as Derek says,we go with the attitude of promoting ourselves we wont go far.Go with what you love share what you love-thats what gives us fulfillment and true connection

Akuna matata out of africa!

Thanks for the story, very inspiring. I think that it is about attitude and timing. We can change the attitude and learn about who we are, however the timing is left up to the mystical. Also it's about focus of goals and remaining true to yourself.

WOW!! Derek that was incredible,Im a true believer and know that you reap what you sow. And you have sown well my friend. Thanks again for sharing with us your incredible and uplifting story. May Peace be with you always.

Great insight, as usual. It's always so easy to read, as if we are talking. Thanks. I'm at a point right now of frustration - how do I get better known? how do I get an article on CD Baby, like Mr. Billy? Our talents are equal; he's just better at marketing.
So, your article said "Maryann, get working on your visibility online." You are right. Being on line has gotten me to Beijing and India. Developing my presence further should get me other places.
Always appreciate your shares. Thanks, Derek.

I was pleasantly surprised to have communicated via email with you! (when I found one of your posts particularly meaningful to my situation a year or two ago). I had assumed you'd be too busy to respond. Not so :)
I think the important point is to be genuine, and make a meaningful connection... people will embrace that. Even better if you have something to offer as well.
If you find yourself in Toronto one day, pizza is on me :)

PS, started learning HTML thanks to your recent post!
Cool! That's great to hear. Congrats! — Derek

Fascinating. Interesting. A perfect kick in my butt of intellectual laziness creeping up on me this time of year. Thank you.

This article offers some huge, powerful wisdom. I am in a more inspired state to meet more people and connect. I like the move with the pizzas.
-Khan
KhansMusic.com

Our community has converted a 100 year old church in Snohomish, WA into Tim Noah Thumbnail Theater - "your cozy home for the performing arts". The most important thing I've learned throughout this endeavor, is to be inclusive and to welcome everyone who walks in the door. Many of the individuals who have been drawn to us have become dear friends and are among the finest people I've ever met. Our latest project is "The Kaddywompas Radio Show", which is recorded live at TNTT for later broadcast on KSER, a local community radio station in Everett. It features music, comedy, storytelling and special guests. Our dream is to take the show to a worldwide audience. Thank you for all you do to encourage and inspire others! I hope you'll come and see us sometime.

Derek, that's a great story. My whole life - while i have not yet manifested the levels of "success" you have - is full of stories and situations just like that. Being willing to simply "put yourself out there" and doing what you love - often, as a volunteer - things happen. I've been in the music "biz" (locally/regionally - and it's not my day job although i treat it like it is) for 20 years, and i see my world "shrink" almost daily just because of finding how connected i am - we all are. I've met some amazing folks. My desire to promote others has actually helped me in ways too numerous to mention. No, i don't earn big bucks - but i am very rich in other ways. And, i have to give a big shout out to Suzanne Glass, who for years ran www.indie-music.com. We met -- not by accident - online in 1999 through what might seem an odd way. Then, she gave me advice i have remembered and used successfully since then: act as if you know what you are doing. People will take you seriously and listen. I think, intuitively, i kinda did "know" all along because this path chose me instead of the other way around. And i am still on it. :-)

Absolutely Derek!

Hi Derek,

Thank you for sharing these great points and persoanl experiences. I agree with all of the points you make.
In fact, I view introductions as the lifeline of the entrepreneur.

In particular, I like your point about surrounding yourself with the right people. I would also add that for people to want to connect, and stay connected with you, you need to bring value to that connection, and to them personally.

I like to think of it this way: you should always try to give more (value) than you receive. That way, you'll always be at a positive balance in the "emotional bank account" of any relationship you have, personal or professional.

Thanks and Best Regards,
Ziv.

Wow, what an amazing and inspiring story, (again)! Thanks for sharing! :)

I LOVE this! I'm so glad I clicked on it this morning. Thank you for the inspiration... In return I'd love to make you a custom sterling silver gift from my shop. If you contact me today at sj (at) lifeisrosey (dot) (com), I can ship it in time to give to someone special for Valentine's Day! Thanks again Derek.

Warmly,
Sarah Jane Nelson

Hi Derek,

Thank you for the wealth of amazing content you're always sharing with us - I don't think there's ever been a time your words haven't helped me. I'm always looking forward to the emails reminding me you have new stuff up to digest!
Big luvs and hugs from Porirua, Wellington, New Zealand,

Lisa

Great post D ! I met Hummie Mann this way, Tony Williams because I worked at a Ferrari repair shop, Am composing a piece that will be played by members of the Seattle Symphony because of a cup of coffee. Yes, Do not be afraid, be adventurous and full of spirit. It's infectious ! You are a beacon of good !

EP

Really appreciate this article. Your "pizza" story was perfect. It is all about who you know but more importantly it's the relationships you are willing to build with those people.

I think we all can become lazy and not look for areas to "build" the relationship. However, there is usually always some type of area to "build" and make a relationship even deeper (i.e. pizza).

Keep up the great work, Derek!

Who paid for the pizza?
I did. They were only $8 each back then. — Derek

Great article. Thanks for the insights!

Thanks for this inspiring and empowering article Derek.

You put interesting and helpfull info, but this is by far the best....so far.

Derek
As usual, an insightful and perceptive look at what we easily ignore. As a triathlon coach and technique swim coach I reach out to people and genuinely look to connect to learn, experience, and give.
A couple of token Pizza's filled a void in Marks world and he remembered. It has paying it forward written all over it.

Haha, well said. Though perhaps I only want to cross of two of those last three items ;)

Thanks for the clarity into how and why our connections work. Before I turned 50 years old I had many different worlds that I lived in, The Farm in Tennessee, herb cultivation in Humboldt, Buddhist practice around Zen Center, Cascadia Radical Faeries and the Dances of Universal Peace. The unifying effect of blogging and FaceBook means that I get to be the same person everywhere. The quilt of experience as lived shows what hasn't killed me has made me stronger. Insight from baking and food processing illuminates material handling in natural building and traditional 3-coat lime plasterwork. Poetry, song, and dance revivify and deepen the ongoing task of making a difference in other people's lives. My mistakes keep me humble. Telling the stories is part of the weaving new wisdoms for the culture that's emerging to meet the needs of this time.

What a great way to start my week!
I love your stories! You've been such an inspiration to me and so very helpful many times over - without even knowing it!
The Lemongrass Essential oil is on my shelf - just have to make it into a soap!

Thank you for sharing & staying connected. You are so appreciated!
Have an awesome week!
Angela

Hello Derek
Not sure if you remember me or not but I believe I was the first or second person to put 5 albums (Country) on CD Baby shortly after you started it 15 or 16 years ago and they are still there.
Just wanted to say outstanding article and I enjoyed it. I have always followed you and your articles. You are also 100% correct. You changed the Indie World of Music for so many of us.
Thank you for all you have done.
Gary
hi Gary! I'll always remember you. (Not just saying that.) Glad you picked up the phone and called me at CD Baby in the early days when I was doing everything myself. You're an great guy and a memorable character. Glad to know you. — Derek

Love this! It's so true. Thank you for the shot of empowerment. :-)

Derek
I've been following you and your posts for several years and this particular post reflects great wisdom on your part. It is my hope that many young musicians, song writers, performers all understand what exactly you are telling them.
When I was a young adult I performed all over North America in a cover band called The Gringos. We were a horn band very much like Chicago or Blood Sweat & Tears. After 7 solid years on the road I had had enough of the music Biz and went directly into my families Real Estate business where I have remained for the last 36 years. However I did manage to continue with music as I raised a daughter to become a world class opera singer and through a good many of her musical friends, stayed very close to the music scene. 4 years ago I decided that I needed to make music once again so I picked up my horn and started down the long road to recovering my musical talents. I also began writing music something I had never done before, and last September I finished my first solo CD of standard songs which I am still working on releasing. But your are correct in that it's all about the attitude you take regarding yourself and how you look at success. After all these years, today I consider myself a success only because I've managed to return to something I love...making music.

I agree. I also feel challenged, as I haven't done as much outreach as I could have, online. I am going to start working on that. It is hard to straddle both my medical job and the music I want to do. I am trying to find a way forward. Thanks!

Thanks Derek, always good to read your articles. Little reminders of truth.

Interesting encounters:
(Years ago)
After being bumbed up to first class on flight to NY from LA, I offered the gentleman seated next to me 1/2 of a peeled orange. When we got around to "interests" he said; you know that symbol on every/anything recorded, the two capitol "D"s that are back to back? The Dolby logo? That's me. Im the Dolby.
=)

Great article, and so true!

Derek,
Again, you are so profound in what you say. I try to use the internet the same way you said to connect with others'. I've had a good response in doing so. Thanks for your sharing of ideas.

Eric Nakasone

Hi Derek. Thanks. Good timing. I'm at a low point in my career as far as good paying gigs.
Your article does give me hope. Sometimes in this business it's hard to stay positive.

I never left any reply, but want to thank you Derek. Its funny how every post seems to be written for what is happening at the moment in my life.

Sorry, got to get back to networking!

Once again, thank you for this. Your heartfelt musings never cease to inspire me and I pass it on to others. Newsprint, books, radio, television, etc. served a similar purpose, as your thoughts provoke, in the past. Your well-written, as usual, concept helped me to understand the idea that through The Internet at large a person can consider all the world as a stage. Can't thank you enough for sharing, keep posting.

Great share Derek and I totally agree with you. I live in Cambridge MA and have always been amazed as to what and who you can connect with over time.
Thanks for sharing and hope that you are doing well. Sounds like it! through your out of the box thinking on the Pizzas. Who knew!!!

Carole

I think the approach you took is also important - figure out what YOU can do for THEM, rather than trying to angle for what they can offer you.

It is absolutely true; we do have the power and CAN choose the people we surround ourselves with. they can infuse our life and change our thinking. And thanks to technology, it's not just people in our geographical area. The internet, which you have pointed out, allows people to connect on an unprecedented scale. It is that very "bridge" that gives us all access to people and information we might never have the chance to experience or acquire otherwise. The fact that I can be privy to the knowledge, opinions and advice of many of the most successful minds of the time, like you Derek, is a resource and inspiration which is indeed priceless. Thank you for putting your "stuff" out there. I am beginning, through the encouragement of words like yours, to put my "stuff" out there too!

Spot on.. Found everything you said to be exactly the case in my own career. Rock on Derek. If you're ever in AZ give me a shout. Cheers!

Thanks for writing this! It's so true, and I am going to tell my students about your story this week. It's good to think outside of the traditional networking box the way you effortlessly do...and I am happy too reading this, because I reached out and connected with you in this way since I admired you!! :)

Hi Derek -
I absolutely LOVE this and though I only began really focusing on this in recent months, I've been pleasantly surprised at how easy and fun it's been to make connections with interesting, passionate, innovative people!
Keep the great posts coming - love your words!
Best -
Kimberly

This is a great article Derek, short, sweet, simple and true. I have been attending as many networking events as possible over the past 6 months and what a difference they make. "Let me introduce you to so and so", "Oh you have to meet my buddy _____", card swapping etc, every little connection can lead to the next big relationship or the ground breaking contact. If there is one thing iI have learned in my short entrepreneurial career it's the importance of treating every situation as an opportunity for something much more.

Awesome topic. That's exactly what I am working on lately. In the high level business world, it's really about who you know and who knows you.

Without the solid relationship with the leader in the industry, you can't move fast.

One important step for me is to give before take. The fastest way to get those people to know you is to contribute useful information or service to solve other people's problem and get the word-of-mouth out.

BTW, Found your link o Twitter.

I agree that you got to surround yourself with positive, sucessful people. As far as not having to live in a big city, I agree to a little degree. I am a musician songwriter, songs in True Blood, Weeds, Beyond The Law, Hallmark Channel. I moved to dayton Ohio. I still love pursueing music and love to play original music and also dream and think bigger. I have been in Dayton 8 years. It seems nobody has real beliefs that they could get a record deal or be on stage with name artist. They are content with playing cover music all the time to make their 60 dollars for their time. When I go to nashville I find that clubs appreciate original music, there are record industry people and publishing executives in these areas and they venture into the clubs to watch new artist. I will be moving to Nashville to pursue music, I think if you wanna be in the music business, you have to be where the music is going on, compeyte with the big fish. To drive back and forth from Dayton all the time is tuff and expensive. Thru internet I have made many connections and even got song put in movies, but you have to surround yourself with those people in an area that has the same beliefs. Maybe once youve made that connection you can go anywhere. But I have also found where there is a lot of music, there is a lot more happy people. Someday I hope I can only go back to L.A. also. Its always great to hear from you Derk. Also cdbaby has never been the same since you lefty. Not even close and I'm sorry I had to tell them... Thanks Brother!! Sincerely Gary Jeffries @ garyjeffriesband.com...

Thank you for writing this article, Derek. It's very inspiring and I will be sharing your article with friends.

You are right. Enjoyed this article.

That's all well and good - but not great to know, if you're not a people person or you're an introvert or you're not a fan of online superficial chit chat. I'm not saying I'm this.

But I think there needs to be an "other side" to your article here, for people who don't do as above yet still thrive.

Always an inspiration, Derek! Thank you.

Ha! Many, many thanks, Derek.

Sincerely,

Martin

Wow, tell me who I need to buy a pizza for :)
Great story ~

Hi Derek,

Great to read yet another interesting article of yours'. A huge turning point in my life was meeting and then collaborating with Mason Williams in 1999. I didn't buy him a pizza but I did drop a book off at his house with my favorite quote highlighted. Those little gestures do go a long way. In todays world of internet worship, as if the internet were some sort of all knowing religion, I find myself torn between using the internet or avoiding it altogether. I record my music looking at the computer screen. I write my lyrics looking at the computer screen, I arrange the parts for my musicians using Finale looking at my computer screen. I keep in touch with my mother looking at the computer screen. All our old activities have turned into one similar activity and physical position of the body. I lament the part of your article in which you suggest the new way to make the life changing contacts is looking at the computer screen. I'm 47 and I appreciate the aspects of technology that have rocketed my career. But I can't spend any more time looking at my computer screen to make personal contacts. For me I'd rather miss the once in a life time chance to connect on line with a mover and shaker and meet someone less powerful face to face just to have some old fashioned face to face time.

Derek:

You hit a home run again. You always do. Thanks for sharing.

I agree. It seems to me that the lesson here is generosity both in person and online.

LOVE this Derek, nicely done. I completely concur- in fact a couple of months ago I wrote a similar piece for my newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/twhEr

Great post Derek and this is so true:

"But more and more it feels like “where everything is happening” is online - and the way to be there is to create something that adds to it. "

The internet has opened incredible doors and allows many of use to connect in ways unimaginable even 10 years ago.

Much of "surrounding yourself with successful people" has to do with changing mindset as well as opening doors. For myself, I've found that following/communicating with successful people (as well as the multitude of interview websites/podcasts) allows me to feel a connection & drive to proceed with my own goals--because I now have living examples that provide inspiration.

Loved your example of what you did in your college class years ago--you seized an opportunity that I would have overlooked (fantastic idea!). Now, if something similar occurs, I have a model to reflect on which I hope to remember ("Whoah! Bill Gates is standing over there and forget to bring any change for the parking meter! I'm going to give him a few quarters to help him out and possibly make a connection," rather than think "Whoah, There's Bill Gates standing over there and it looks like he doesn't have any change."

Bill, if you're reading this and I'm around--I've got your parking meter covered.

Hello Derek ...

Yes. You've again nailed down a wonderful perspective on how to make the benefits of networking payoff, regardless of where one might live and work. Valuable stuff, for sure.

Cheers & Best,
Dennis

Thanks for the post. This is just what I've been thinking about lately. :)

Great article Derek. Networking is so crucial.
ALL the best gigs / jobs I've landed over the years came from a referral of some sort. Every single one.

Wow, so simple yet powerful. This is so true. I used to be rather introverted but my day-job in Digital Marketing pushed me to be more open. It is a valuable tool in business and in my art career. I was able to get my first gallery representation through a few chance meetings and now I am having a one-woman show of 35 floral paintings at the Atlanta Botanical Garden.
Feb 9 - April 28th
Reception March 28th, 5-8pm
Come One Come All, With Blossoms On!

Our whole body is a network! of cells... if not we wouldn´t live::))) Thanks for posting, Derek!

Yes...It IS all about who you know.

No...It's NOT as hard to "know" people as you think.

Hint...Listen to others' stories as much as you tell your own!

Excellent post, Derek. Thanks for reminding me that on the Internet, everyone is approachable and an equal.

I'm an old guy, and didn't learn this when I was young. I missed many opportunities, but see this as a critical skill set that anyone can learn. Start small and build. I think friends and family get tired of hearing me say it, but they think I'm just "Lucky" to have so many diverse friendships that open so many doors. Thanks for the interesting article.

Getting to know people works. but there should be a sense of purity in the connection. Just adding 1k people on LinkedIn doesn't work:) This blog reminded me of an excellent quote from Ron:

Who do you need to meet? I’m sure that we know them.
—Ron Conway

I been blessed with common sense and along with that goes honesty. If you are straight up with people when you meet them they will always remember that. Thats why I'am rich with good friends.

Thanks Derek

Bob Mahler

I've been getting your posts for years and I always learn something but this one is a wonderful coincidence for me. I am working on our February newsletter and part of the main subject is about how to be successful; the personal qualities that need to be nurtured. Since you are so generous with these articles I am going to use this one and recommend that all our Indie Musicians subscribe to your posts. You are truly an inspiration. I can't thank you enough.

Great piece! Thank you.
Bob Hinz
www.bobhinz.com

Awesome article. Also, this is the only way today to find a job!

Well said, Derek -- it's all about listening to the world around you, and being willing to "order the pizza"!

Thanks Derek for posting your inspiring story with us all, you are a fantastic storyteller, as you probably already know! It's a great reminder that each of us make our own luck and connections in life. I really enjoyed this blog and the power of positive thinking!

Derek,

I've always read your blogs, and admired the clarity and simplicity with which you articulate your ideas. I know that somewhere along the line, you had some trouble with the company that you founded, CD Baby, but its refreshing to see that you're still reaching out to people and offering your insights...something that you are good at, something that you love to do, and something that shows us, your readers, where your heart really is. I would love to hear your insights on my music, as I'm constantly trying to bridge the gap between where I am now, and my success.

Thanks,

~Matt

Reminds me of all the times my dad would utter the offshoot of your phrase, which was "kiss ass, boy, kiss ass". It always annoyed me. At first I didn't understand it, then it started to make sense. Then I took it's translation of "it's who you know" to heart. And I met many people in my journey. (This began in the mid 1970's...). You never know which person will open the door for you. I was always genuine about it. Genuinely thankful to each person that granted me a bit of time and wisdom, or who would listen to my songs. Finally got some funny type songs to Dr. Demento of all people. 35 years ago, after taking a chance and sending a song to Dr. D, I have the most well known and loved comedy song in the world, mostly from airings on his show. And his show opened thousands of other doors for me, literally. Yep, it's who you know all right!

As always, your stories are the best. Thanks for sharing Derek!

Before attending NYU for a master's degree, I made a list of 5 companies I wanted to work with/for - including The Orchard and Nettwerk among others. My first week of the program I mentioned the list to a few classmates.

A year later, one of them started interning for The Orchard and asked if I'd like to work there as well. I took him up on it and let's just say that made a big difference in my career.

You nailed the key point: the speaker had a problem/obstacle/need and you handled it. The best workers are capable of doing that without being asked and can spot an opportunity where there previously wasn't one.

-Alex
— Derek

Thank you, Derek. You have some great life experiences and marvelous insights. Thanks for passing them along...

Always great to hear from you Derek ~ joy in my inbox!!

Great article. If you're ever in Bellingham, WA I'll buy you a pizza!

Great story and how things are shaped by the simplest gestures.
Terrific and inspiring.
Thanks as always for sharing your insights.

Bravo Derek, another excellent article - very very uplifting, informative, and full of useful wisdom. THANKS!

I only have one question, and please don't take this as an attack - I am just wondering about something.

What does it really mean to be "successful". Does "worldly" success really mean anything at all when the world is absolutely toxic, full of poison, lies, corruption, suffering, chemtrails, radiation from cell phone towers and wifi, HAARP modifying the weather and attacking countries with directed energy weapons, GMO's threatening to screw the genetic base of all of life on earth, crimes like 911 allowed to be committed without justice, war after war after war on innocent peoples. . . on and on and on...... what is the point of "success" when the world is truly coming to an end.

Rather than encouraging people to strive for personal "success" in the world - would it not make more sense to encourage people to stand up against the cabal which is tearing the world down? If we don't do something fast - like UNITE again tyranny - then truly, this "success" we are striving for will mean absolutely nothing.

Thanks again Derek! I liked the article!

Take care,
Edward

Wow Derek. You nailed this. It's no surprise why you ended up having some of the most powerful and directly applicable advice as an expert in our Connect with Anyone community. This is such powerful stuff. Thanks on many levels my man! Glad we're connected ;).

Excellent post Derek!

As usual your thoughts are inspiring!
You are reminding me more and more of Seth Godin, or is he reminding me of you? With the holistic positive build your own paradigm big-hearted talk, thanks for that.

Derek, again you have inspired me to keep positive, do positive things and never give up, thanks for the inspiration and the other tips as well.
Harry

Nothing like initiative to open doors - I need to take much, much more of it. Thx Derek!

Great story! I have a band, ad it's incredible how the few connections I had when I started have flourished into multiple branches of friendships and connections...

Be nice, it pays off, too!

Loved this article. I am in transition. After 14 years in LA, trying to decide to move back to Austin, or go to Nashville. I'm craving a quieter pace. Good stuff here. I hope you don't mind, I'm posting a quote on my FB page. Thanks for the inspiration!

Derek, this blog is exceptionally good! I have forwarded it to my younger family members - children, etc. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Hi Derek, once a again great article¡¡¡

You know, you are so right...
You probably don't remember, but i write you once, asking you some guidance, because i feel kind a lost, and for some reason, you understand what i was asking (it was a weird question), and you recommend me 2 books, i read them both, but 1 of them really nail it¡¡, (E-myth), i found mi self in that book... and eventually i found my way, and all thanks to a guy i don't know, but for some reason i writhe...that's you. thanks my friend....

343 post within (not even) 24 hours! I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating ;-). Thanks for personally sharing this post with me Derek! A great way to start the week and make some new friends.

Derek - Good on you for having bought those pizzas. Sometimes the smallest gestures can have the the most long lasting effects. I've done this with coffee meetings. Even if someone invites me out to a coffee meeting to pick my brain, I always buy for both of us.

PS: Thanks for introducing me to Dan Andrews. His life in Bali seems super interesting.

Great article Derek! It really rang true for me. I found that what worked best for me was a combination of moving to a big city (Vancouver) so I could meet new people in person, and reaching out to the people online that inspired me. I should also note that one email to the right person can be worth 100 or even 1000 tweets sent out into the ether. Again, great, relevant article, Derek, and you've always got a contact here in Vancouver!

Great thoughts here. It can be a challenge, especially when one can't see the people around them. But, even that is made easier by the advancement of technology and the Internet. Thanks for sharing.

The one thing you have 'created' Derek that 'added' to, and expanded, my thinking is 'letting go' to your foundation and taking an annuity back. Awesomeness. I have taken inspiration from your model and am applying it this year, though a bit differently. Thanks!

"When the desire to possess disappears, the joy appears." ~An old Brahmin saying.

Hi Derek –

Great story. You were an unusual young man – able to respond to a difficult situation (the hungry presenter) with a thoughtful and generous response (ordering pizzas).

This is not something we learn in school. But it’s the foundation of solid team work: kindness, integrity and trust.

As a leadership coach I help folks who are at least twice 18 years old to develop precisely these chops, which you were probably born with.

Without trust teams struggle to get the job done. But mistrust can be repaired through acknowledgement of regrets and new agreements. And team leadership skills are learnable! See www.VogelGlaser.com

I’ll remember your story – thanks again!

Well 5 years ago I reached out to you Derek. You and CD Baby took my music and threw it out to the whole world. The music has been selling and I can say I am a recording artist. Thanks for helping all of us little guys who would never get looked at by the "BIG" record companies. Any time you want a pizza drop me an email and I'll get one delivered.

Very well and clearly said. Thanks.

Hi Derek!
That's a great and encouraging email! Thanks! Isn't technology awesome! Transporting us all over the place! I love it and I love to share what I create with others.
I have so much more coming....
Thanks for the email Derek and have a wonderful day. True
Rachel

Yes. Yes. None of us get to where we're going underhandedly, and if we did we'd probably be lonely or complaining!
I like working in tribes, I'm social yet also thrive in quality solitude, usually for incubation.
I agree w/ the "no need for a big city". As soon as I'm re-established enough in my acting I would love to Not live in NY or LA full time.
Derek, do u know this is the Mark Fried I had met (when I won those Billboard, MSC awards) from BMI. It's a small world sometimes.
A friend in NYC,
Derrick Damions
PS: keep storytelling.
Yep! Mark Fried was at BMI then founded Spirit Music. Great guy. We're still in touch, 25 years later. — Derek

Great reminder!! Great encouragement. Thanks.

online has it's place - and it's cetainly the thing everyone's going off about these days. but considering that online is mostly text which is a mere 7% of human communication (the other 93% is tone of voice, facial expressions, stance and posture, gestures, actions) - good connections need a healthy whack of some good ol' face2face. sure you can connect online, but then get offline and have coffee and go surfing together, hike a canyon, or go see some live music - then you;re getting connected.

I've always believed..if you give..one day you will receive..it's taking quite some time..but I can almost taste it! This is a fine article Derek..thanks!

A key point you made is surrounding yourself with successful people. The circles you run in will influence your core values and will most likely limit or expand your growth as an individual through learning and opportunity. Don't know anyone, no problem. The internet bridges that for you. Even if your introverted, like me, gather your energy to reach out.

I was required to take a class at Brown College which taught you the fundamental ways to create a resume and portfolio. It was a rigid pass/fail debacle taught by an elder. My work had to be a certain way or my portfolio would be chucked into the proverbial circular file with a giant "loser" stamped on it in red letters. As a musician, I sent out hundreds of promo kits that in no way resembled what the profs were telling me to do. The lack of branding did not set me apart and was difficult to swallow. Despite my objections, I followed the curriculum to pass. I started sending out my resumes after college that received little love.

With the failings of the old college resume, I've learned Since and had the most success simply need to reaching out and showing personality, taking an interest in them and their works, offering to fulfill a need and asking for something that I needed help with.

I learned that a Gazillionaire swinging a nine iron used to skin his knees on the same blacktop I did. We all share the same playground as kids. We all square danced in 8th grade to pass PhyEd. We have common interests regardless of our dichotomy in stature and can communicate once you identify what they are.

In Derek's case, one phone call for pizza said I care that your hungry and will do something about it. No one else did. That started a relationship that provided opportunity and a path for success was initiated.

Nice article Derek, so much of it rings true to our world today. Don't fear other peoples success. Connect and learn from successful people; its easier now more than ever. Ask if they need help with anything. Give of yourself and most likely it will be returned. Look at the circles that you run in. How do you change your circle if I am not growing toward something. By simply giving and asking.

Derek, what a great post! I share so much your view. Last week I had a customer development interview with the organizer of one of the events I attended two months ago. It is amazing how quickly connections are formed. After 15 min talk she recommended me to talk to another guy who is organizing events, and so on. Online connections are great, they are the base. F2F connections are awesome! They are the ones that make friendships. It was great to read your post. Made me smile at the end of a busy day. (it is almost night here in Europe).
Thank you! Masha

What a great idea with the pizza. All I have to do now is find a hungry major artist who would like to sing my songs. Enjoyed the info Derek.

Ron at Casara Publishing

Have we met!? :)

:) +1 appreciation.

I've had a couple of successful careers. My most recent one is in the music engraving and music preparation field, which I began in 1995, not really knowing anything about it but I did have great music reading chops. Since then, I paid my dues following the lead of my then one-and-only client - a major music arranger & orchestrator, got tutelage from other copyists, and I continue improving the craft to this day.
I now have other clients along with that first client, scores of gold & platinum albums I've worked on, been the supervising copyist on many films including a couple that won Academy Awards. My working with that first client led me to performing on a couple of albums that went gold. Two of my recent products are being the chief music engraver/music editor for Beck's "Song Reader", as well as the supervising copyist for Beck's rendition of "Sound & Vision" just posted yesterday on the new Lincoln Motor Company's site (over 160 musicians and singers played on this, from two choirs to alpine horn to string & brass orchestra to a samba band to the funky Dap Kings to 9 metal guitarists to a drumline, a Theremin, musical saw, modular synths - and more!)
I'm working successfully in a musical niche field - and it's all because someone back in 1995 recommended me to my first client, who suggested that I get a computer and we try it. So I borrowed the money from my inlaws, purchased a duplicate computer system to that of the client's, and started out. Just dove in. And I've not looked back. Although this is not my main emphasis in music (playing and composition are), it is an awesome "day job" - plus it adds to my musical education and competence. I love it. And it puts me in contact with many who are very successful, and I continue to learn from them.
Great article, as always, Derek. Thanks!

Great Story...people,needs ,bridges...
Thanks,
Vern Baardson

Very well said, Derek.
Folks sometimes lament the demise of the labels, but I think it's the best time for music (good music) I've ever seen in my life. Thanks for the common sense and encouragement.

Talk about movers & shakers! Those 3 pizza were a brilliant Bond type OP. (shaken, but not stirred).
What an operator! Innovation! Mind power! A very thoughtful, considerate and kind person. Unthinking of any side issue or gain. Pure friendship! Good luck mate! Thank you for helping me & others as well. Mark Whitty.

Love everything you write and talk about Derek. I really need to follow more closely and pay closer attention. "It's not what you know it's what you do with what you know." Thanks for telling me what I need to know...now if I could just do it!!! Beth

Cool words, bro. Though sometimes I think the pressure to move to the big city is more than any one can bear.

I would never date Taylor Swift. If we broke up she'd write a hit single that would be my public humiliation for all time.

But otherwise thanks for this, Derek. You inject great clarity into a world of noise!

Fred

Gr8 article Derek,

I used to think working is the only way to get there, but really making right connection and synergize with the right people is the way to get there. Hope to run into you one day :D

Wise words. I've been known to defeat myself or delay things by not being sociable and expanding my circle. That pizza idea was pretty slick haha

Thanks, Derek. A thoughtful email is sometimes all it takes to start a beneficial relationship.

"Good Move~I owe you one. Ha Ha

Hello Derek,
I totally agree with you. Working with successful people does put you in a special mindset.
Like you I had been playing professionally since I was 16 years old. Meeting with top musicians, producers and agents and so on. And within the last few years networking has been even more important knowing what everyone is doing. What's popular and what's not. Learning from people you admire and using special skills. I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. Peace to you.

Great story and great advice...thanks.

This brings up a couple of corollaries:

1. It's not who you know, it's who you are introduced by, and

2. Don't look for work, listen for work...

...Steve>>>

I got to add or ...

SELFIT GUIDE Rungila
Way to Happiness for good health great wealth

music is great

Great post! couldn't agree more. It also makes life a lot more interesting when you open yourself to meeting & connecting with others. Keep the posts coming.
Any new books in the future?

Best,
David

Also, you seemed to go into it authentically. that's a big deal.


next time you're in nashville.... Lunch is on me. I mean it. :)

-V

Love this post, I guess because without knowing it, you were describing me. Success does seem far away at times. I will take heed of your two reasons.

Thank You, Sir !
:)

An excellent article and so true!! Reaching out is crucial but it is also so wonderful to connect with anyone whose work you respect.
It also keeps inspiration going and growing!

We are all a part of the Web of Life with or without the internet. It is just personal choice of how many strands we travel on. Wishing one and all lovely journeys.

Another take away from this great post for me is to always keep about 50 bucks cash on you so you can order the pizzas!

Tons of people seem to get hung up on the idea of reaching out to people they don't know. It's one of the reasons I tell college students to get a job selling something, even if it's only for three months.

Sure, a bunch of the people will never respond to you. But a surprisingly large number will, particularly if you frame it in a way that is beneficial to them.

It's one of the best skills I can think of for making things happen.

Derek, this is a great column. Millions and millions of people can help themselves by just reading it. And you know, buying those three pizzas came from being considerate and helpful, not a calculated ambition to impress somebody.

It's been said a whole lot: But you can't buy character.

I'm really glad that a few years back I heard a song I liked on NPR one night, and the only place I could find the singer was something called CD Baby, and I ordered it. That is how we met.

I used to wonder how it would have been going to school with Chevy Chase, growing up. It must be great working around you. You're not like other people, I can tell.

I believe that this is good advice Derek; staying in touch with people you've met, whether by phone or email, or even FB, is so important. People can get really busy with life and easily forget to contact people they have met, they even lose touch with old friends at times. A simple email, e-card or phone call can make a huge difference in business relationships as well as personal relationships. A calendar is always useful in remembering to make that follow-up call or to remember a birthday. One or two hours a week will get you caught up with friends and business calls, of course that's just me, some folks need more phone and email time in a week. The point is find out what works and get it into your schedule...btw, YOU are very good about staying in touch, I always look forward to your emails and blogs. :)

Hi Derek!

Thanks for posting this. Its great insight and definitely something I live by everyday - given that i'm a budding lawyer and in my last year of the JD - networking has been key especially since I plan to move to LA. Its become the way of the world these days, and gone are the days where you submit an application online and keep your fingers and toes crossed.

Linkedin is a great portal for this and has truly changed my perspective on the feeling of being intimidated by connecting with big people in the industry. I'm looking to get into entertainment law in LA and have been networking with industry folk at Disney, 20th Century Fox, Lionsgate, etc and I can honestly say - what I used to think has changed, and many have been kind enough to meet with me when i'm in town.

Your article exemplifies this and has given a student like me, more hope. Thanks!

Devika

Fabulous! Very insightful for a twenty something. I wish I had been so bright.

This is damned encouraging, thanks D!

I too have connected with some "untouchables", and I have often encouraged my students to do this as well.

What a fantastic story. As I grow older, I'm realizing how much of where we end up and what we do in life is dependent on our daily dealings with people. Training oneself to have the presence of mind to make any situation better, and absorb as much as possible from the surroundings makes a world of a difference.

Would love to meet you and get to you know, Derek!

Kunal

Thank you, Derek, for that insight. Because I called a man to whom I was recommended, in 1994, in Auckland, we are now touring New Zealand and Canada together: all a result of reaching out to say hello to a friend I had not yet met. Please keep your fine thoughts flowing our way.
Love, Valdy

ps: I read a lovely article by Danny Barnes, you might enjoy it- - http://www.dannybarnes.com/blog/how-make-living-playing-music

You are right Derek,
Just by knowing a few people in this industry including yourself has open doors for me,just by mentioning their names.
I invented an accessory product for guitar players and when I try ed o get it into the stores it they didn't return my calls until I started dropping name of musicians who are interested in using my product.
Know people definitely helps.
Jimmy
Artist Name Sema'j

It's good to be reminded of this, even when we think we understand. On one hand, it's applicable especially to my teen- or young-adult kids. On the other, I can use the reminder, as someone who has migrated between a couple of fields.

good stuff! love hearing your pizza ordering story. crazy you figured that out at 18. took me years to really appreciate reaching out to new people.

With you 100%. You always share good concise gems.

Good reminder and food for thought.

agreed... we all live 2 meet new smiling faces and parlait...
carpe diem!!

Very true. Just before x-max of 2006, an old chance encounter from the Fidonet days (yes, I'm a dinosaur) rang me up and described his new crazy idea. Today, the Pirate Party is represented in more countries than I can remember and I had the pleasure of serving as the Swedish party's CTO for five years and helped change the world a little bit for the better.

All because of that one phone call from Rick Falkvinge.

Just wanted to share my appreciation to you for the many shares along the way...from CD Baby days to these emails and TED...

I remember first hearing about CDBaby and wanting to get a great singers' music on it--Cory Sipper--and then finding other great artists like Edie Carey, as a result--artists I might never have known about otherwise, had it not been for you! So, similar to what you just shared with us, one artist led me to another to another to another, as well as one more inspiring thought leading me to another to another to another...so that ideas become possibilities...and those possibilities become probabilities...until those probabilities become in the mind's eye inevitabilities...all because of the beginnings of the first intangible idea(s).

Thanks for being an inspiration! I so needed to read your message just now. I was falling into self-doubt about whether I (or my own thoughts, deeds, and actions in my sphere of the world) make a difference. I think I do, even if it sometimes feels like a wee bit.

Hi Derek,
Thanks for this enlightening article. It does make sense especially since I have learnt from experience how connections with real influential people do make an impact in your life and help you achieve so much more, not just for yourself but also for the world at large.
Fauziah Shah

First thing I read this morning, in bed. Just brilliant. Thanks Derek!

Well said! Keep up the good work. peace, pcb

I'm a little sleepy now - but thanks for letting me know that you got the story... For so many reasons - some obvious and some not, I am sometimes conscious about coming off as some hustler/slacker with low morals and the type who always look for the shortcut- which is essentially the "too do" part of this subject - however . . . There is obviously so much more to Mr. Jimmy ( as he was called) , the business model of then and now and even the owrseptions and MIS conceptions of The Rolling Stones-FYI I just found out last night that one of our songs I have not heard a mix too yet has the bass player from The Who on it. John Entwistles replacement.

Anyway- I must get near a computer rather than an iPhone to properly communicate- because now that I know you'll read it... I've a lot to write-
Chang Dow for Now

China West.
!!! NOT a reference to any or all things opiated. !!!

Thanks for sharing Derek, I do really enjoy reading your posts but I hate to say it 'your site is fugly" lol

Can you not just find a nice theme on woo and spend a bit of time sprucing it up? or just call me and let me sort it out for you! I'd be happy to :-)

I am trying to bootstrap The Lovit Center and increase my own public profile from absolutely nothing. No start up money, nothing... I have three products and I give great programs but at 57 I am finding it tough to know which way to turn to take TLC to the next step, your advice has been an absolute godsend to me and, although I am not exactly up and running on all cylindars yet, I have a plan... thanks so much.

Well said and so true I really enjoyed reading this one as ones from the past ones as well.The world is just one big network and we all have a connection

I think, it was not the Pizza but the spotaneous act of getting the person what he wanted i.e.' something to eat'',
in a class where no one else reacted the way you did, even the Teacher just said "sorry'', and did 'nt give a thought to his need.
a good deed or gesture always comes back to the sender.
regards,
alamelu

Thank you for your insight. I believe every word.

what are the three things I can cross off my to do list???
I love your writings and all your experiences you have shared with us.....
thank you.

How many folks in that class may have thought about getting a sandwich for the lecturer, but only you had the courage to act...in those seconds a life is built. Congratulations on your balls, which is what it took to do that. Mike

Hello Derek,

Another great article. Thank you so much!

All the best
Désirée

Excellent advice. Thank you.

Derek, I whole-heartedly agree. I think many people hear the word network so often, they forget how to use it after building it. I love that you're spreading the good word out there. Its been neat watching you grow over the years, at least from a cyber view. keep it up!
(:3

How it all changes and getting faster. You always come through for us all out here and always have it right in line with what is happening. Thank you so much....
I really needed some allinement again since I have to do it all; home stuff, web stuff, auto stuff, music stuff, etc. hours of a day get shorter and need to say stop, this is what I will take time for and the rest will be there when I have time. Really the net has helped not hurt us all for saving time and not needing to spend money to drive or fly to meet someone. Just set down and reach out through the net and save money and time. Thank you once again my friend. I know I am not here very much but I do read and take in what you have to say. Blessings always and be safe in this fast world. TerryLee

Derek...I'm shedding an old skin, but no matter the incarnation, your words and ideas at core always have the ring of truth. They are a comfort, and relentlessly inspiring.

and Kelly Reid-Ward from Kincaid :)

Dear Derek,

This is such a well-written and inspirational piece. It gives me much to reflect on as I continue to develop my networking skills. Thank you so much for sharing and being open to others reaching out.

Linda

Derek!
Just discovered you through a "connection". Though my world is smaller, I resonate with your life view including the Fable. Learned it years ago from a little book entitled Cosmic Consciosness. Not having grown up in the Information Age, I'm still awkward with IT thingees:-) but the power of connection is timeless. It can be used positively or negatively. Let the energy flow

Hi,
Sorry for my bad English
It is a really amazing and true article.However people do not understand as you are.Instead of making people, who are remote(as you said),more closer to eachother it started to separate people from eachother.For example:
I have seen some young people even though they are sitting beside eachother instead of talking by mouth, they are messaging through facebook.That means facebook did not become tool to communicate.It became target.

Nice article. I used to do something similar when we had late night store meetings (picking up pizza for the staff). I wasn't the boss, but I figured people having to stay up and go out of their way should be a bit more relaxed and get something to eat. My boss ended up taking the idea and making it his own.

I told the world that you Derek is Best of the Best.
and you continue to prove me right.

Thank You

Khalil

Well Derek,
I know you!
And I consider you to be my friend...

Thats a great story! It was right place at the right time, but the difference is you executed on the opportunity where most wouldnt. It amazes me how something so simple, buying pizza for someone, could really impact your life. These are things as a 26 yr old im really trying to wrap my head around. Im always looking at the bigger picture trying to do everything bc im so motivated to succeed but i feel like i dont take advantage of the small opportunities that could lead to something big, and a big part of that is networking, which although i feel i am good at, i surprisingly do not do enough of, especially since im in the IT space where i have access to all of the tools and resources... Anyway, wanted to share my thoughts, thank you for sharing yours. -Paul

What a wonderfully inspiring story, Derek. Thank you for sharing. And now, we know you!

What if you want to date Taylor Swift. I don't want to mark that one off my list just yet ;)

Derek,

This is a great idea. I was wondering if you think women need do have a different approach so it doesn't come off as flirting. It can be very challenging.
Dorothy

Excellent thoughts. I've always recognized the power of networking and being intentional with professional relationships.

Another point - be willing to be the person that people reach out to. You don't have to be famous or successful to impact lives around you.

Hi Derek ,as i told you before,that really you are and still a very good man, my look to you will never change,wish you all sucsess in life,best regard.Mahmoud B.L.

Good post Derek! After reading Tim Ferriss' book and reading the challenge of reaching out to a person YOU NEVER THINK you will ever get a reply from, I have marked my target and am trying to find the connection now. Though it seems that contacting my target IS like walking across the Grand Canyon...on a tight rope...with high wind...while carrying frightened cats that cling on to you like their drowning, I haven't given up. I don't want anything, except maybe a 3 word email or facebook post saying, "you found me". Then I will click my heels as I jump up in joy and then REALLY know, it is possible.
So if ANYONE knows Sister Souljah, have her FB me.
Keeping hope alive!

Thanks for this ... very insightful, gave me hope that it's never too late ... and as long as I don't close myself off and keep pluckin away ... I may finally meet up with that one person who can help me out of the gutter and rise up where I belong ... Pizza can change everything ... how awesome is that.

Excellent point, Derek. Thanks for the read!

It's funny, the only reason i know you exist Derek, is because I'm a fan of Seth Godin - who loves you and your work. And the only reason I read this post is that a Super Connector from my home city Melbourne (who is Ross Hill) tweeted this post - who ironically is in Vietnam as we speak....

Anyway - I'm going to reach out more often to the people whose work I respect and see how it goes... Of course I'll let you know. And if you ever need somewhere to stay in Melbourne Australia - I've got a terrific spare room with super fast wifi.

Steve.

This is undoubtedly one of the best things I have read on the net. Being unemployed for a year now & plugging away with a new project in music it's easy to get jaded as I'm finding my new way.
Great articles like this remind me that you never know what is around the corner. You never know what lies ahead with that next connection or person you meet, and staying humble and open to new opportunities will carry you forward.
And like has been stated, making sure the follow up is there and genuine.

A small act of kindness returns over and over. It feels great when that happens and it feels even greater when you were not expecting anything in return.

Great post Derek. I can't imagine where I would be today if I didn't "say hi" to people I didn't even know before.

I definitely agree with you about being around successful people and the way they can make you feel.There is a great positive energy; and a feeling that anything is possible; there are no limitations ; all you have to do is try.These people make sure that they have there ZEN TIME and treat themselves to a good time and treat their bodies well also.one of the things I enjoyed about living in California is the fact that many people there are very health and body conscious ; there is a big difference between a spiritual connection that may be a little off in Southern California; where there are many successful people; who sometimes cater to those and attract many rather "superficial types"; but you have to just sort your way through all that and fond the real deal and often times I have found that truly successful people remember but do not dwell on the hard times too much; they remember but always remind themselves that those days are in the past; a new consciousness has begun and it will never actually be that way again. It is important to seize the right moment in making that sincere connection and keep up with it, and yes the good karma you give will come back to you;if you are generous and helpful to the right person they will reciprocate, like attracts like.

Hi Derek
I fully agree with this.
Regards
Eamon

Any thoughts on how best to develop an online presence that can get you connected to new people? Perhaps another article for another day? :)

And it is so easy to inevitably do good things to people you like when you have the courage to let go...
Nice post Derek.

Most excellant article. Great philosophy! I have been telling this to my 3 kids forever and now one is in Philadelphia, one in New York City and one in Baltimore........All attended State colleges..............They figured it out !

Hi Derek,
Love your shares,thanks!
PS Thoroughly enjoyed your audio book, kept me inspired + engaged during recent travels :) The bonus music is awesome,too.

Great advice. I just recently JV'd with a tech start-up in the irrigation industry and see the absolute value in what you've just shared - sharing great insights and product on online and reaching out with a quick phone call or email makes all the difference. As always, I appreciate your wisdom.

Best,

Bill Zimmerman
Entrepreneur

Derek- There are three kinds of people in the world.

1. Those who Make Things Happen.
2. Those who Watch Things Happen.
3. Those who say...What Happened?

You are the kind that Make Things Happen. We need to know these Kinds of People and copy their examples to make things happen....May Your Kind...Live and Prosper! Thanks for sharing your Thoughts!

Haha. Good thing you picked Supreme's and not Little Stevie's or the whole story might have been different. Just kidding, of course.

Great reminder that when you reach out with kindness to others, they will respond in kind.

Love & Light,
Amanda

Derek -
that connection also --also--occurred because you had the money to pay for the pizzas. When I was in school, I was paying for it all, by myself, and had multiple jobs just to make ends meet. The cost of the pizzas would have been absolutely prohibitive. Maybe one... Your action, however, is a nice example of see-a-need-and-fill-it, and give-before-you-get. If you had only been able to offer the other half of your dinner sandwich, would he have been as touched? I'd like to think yes, he would.
Maybe. At the time, pizzas were $8. — Derek

Great article, Derek. It's so true that making a simple connection, using the law of reciprocity that Cialdini talks about in "Influence", is all that it can take. I have a number of long-lasting relationships because I lead with "What can I do for you, for free, to help you and make your life easier?" I find that when I'm really excited about someone's message, I'll bend over backwards to see them successful. It's paid dividends for me, too.

Thanks for your real words about the real things in life. I will share this with those I know. So much falsehood sits out there and blinds people to the resources that are in very vicinity. Keep opening the truth one mind at a time.

Fantastic read! Thanks for posting this. It reaffirmed everything I have believed and you stated some golden nuggets which I've shared with a few friends. Loved this one especially:

‎"The people you surround yourself with don't just open doors. They change the way you think, and change your self-image of your capabilities!"

Hope all is well in Eastern Asia :)

Who did the artwork/drawing for this blog post?
Heather Q from Portland did it as a work-for-hire project for me a few years ago. I own the rights, so you're free to use it, royalty free, for anything. — Derek

Brilliant, simple and lucid. Very timely for me personally! Its been a delight also to be a friend of yours Derek, in a manner thats quite similar to what you described.. :-)

Absolute truth in how we get connected. The six degrees to Kevin Bacon is an order. Our connections from UB707 have taken us to people and places we would not have even imagined 10 years ago when first banding together. The journey continues, and that is what gives relevance and enjoyment in life, more than the destination. Stay tuned.....Thanks 4 sharing Derek.

Awesome, as always Derek. It reminds me of when I started ~NDVERSE~ Indie Artist Mgmt. & Mktg. a few years ago and through the process of that hired my debut client. David Martinez is a south Texas based indie artist, who utilized CD Baby to distribute his debut & 2nd cd's, which were both produced in a L.A. based indie label. Therefore my work promoting David's music introduced me to CD Baby, you and your blog, and began exposing me to the valuable insight that you've shared with me over the past few years. Thanks for all the perspective that you share with all of us Derek and keep up the great work dear sir!

Sincerely, Grateful Ed aka MrNDVERSE (Retired):-0~

pizza somebody ? :)

It was a smart move to offer a pizza.

Hello Derek, Nice reading your article. I would like to keep in touch with you.
Networking :)

Actually opportunities are everywhere. just like this Supreme's Pizza, I am going to write them this for cover story and soon a motion graphic company will turn as a Youtube Trends for a few hits.

But the main point is, hey Derek, if i ever heard you are hungry before hours' speech, you want Double bacon 6cheese or chicken Parmesan with double cheese?

Instructive story.
Encouraging useful and good advice Derek.
Thanks.

Joseph S.

Can I keep Taylor on my list - doesn't seem like such an onerous undertaking to date her.

Thank you for such a lovely post Derek
so true, it is easy to walk with your eyes closed to opportunity, everyone is a link to a new world of contacts and friends, its always good to share friendship.

Hey Derek, I completely agree with you.

Music is communication. Communicate with others is important in order to grow your business, and above all your art.

/Mike

I'm Comment #461... gosh, either I'm getting slower or others are getting quicker at opening their email. Oh wait...this post is a whole 3 days old... what was I thinking.

So if I don't have to be Richard's cousin, or date Taylor to be connected, then that virtually leaves me depressed. I mean, over the years I've all but thrown myself at the stars just to get noticed. I've done everything but spin on my head to get their attention, and now you're telling me I didn't have to do any of that? *sigh*

I have to admit, one of the greatest connections I never wanted to make (that's not a typo) was the one I made with you. Fortunately you taught me early, (just before I belly danced for Kareem Jabbar anyhow), that getting attention wasn't necessary, but asking how I can support others was.

I'm getting choked up now, so I can barely see what I'm typing any longer...but you are, without a doubt....hey wait... did you actually date Taylor at some point? What was "Believe me, I know" all about? Oh sorry...where was I? Oh yes... you are without a doubt one of the best connections I never made.

Happy Valentines Day Derek! Thanks for another great article.

Great article and is spot on!

Great article, yes keeping in contact with your base is critical, for all businesses in fact.

You give a great example, Derek. I work with a lot of professionals who typically see networking as no more than handing out business cards and bragging, so I often find myself trying to re-define networking for them. I hope you don't mind if I use the heck out of your example, because there's nothing more convincing than the truth.

Also, I'm glad to see your comment among the comments that follow-up is REALLY important. In fact, I think it's at least equally important. Getting those pizzas was the start of the relationship, but it could have stopped there. You DID follow up and everything else followed. Had you not followed up, it would have stopped there.

You were intoduced to me by my nephew Michael Hosseini from Perth ,Australia .I have been following you for the last 12 months and so glad done that. You are inspiration to a lot young guys like him. I am 59 years old and started my first business at age of 11 then become a professional soccer player ,came to Austrlia on a soccer contract and been in this great part of the world for last 39 years. It is so refreshing to see that there is still hope for human being race as long as we can see people like you around.very true luck is a big factor but in most cases we write our own life story and playing the role.cheers from downunder ,karim Ghiassi

Well, these days connection is all one needs to grow wider...thoughtfuly! Nice post with q great objective..

Sorry Derek, but your story is NOT about who you know, it's about compassion. The title really threw me off because I heard that so many times and I don't agree with it. "It's Who You Know" sounds self-serving and egotistical. It puts people in a mind frame of how they may get ahead by kissing ass. Buying food for someone who is hungry, showing a little love and compassion is what it's about. You reap what you sow, it's a simple, yet powerful message, and it works!
The pizza story at the beginning was not the point. I meant for the real point of the story to be about how the people you interact with change the way you think, and how you think determines your success, so the people you interact with really determine your success. Therefore, it helps your success (by however you define it) to know a lot of successful people, and this article was meant as a reminder that they're easier to contact than most people realize. — Derek

Wow, remarkable story. This breathes a bit more life in my ambition and motivation to do something great. I'm glad I stumbled upon this blog!

Your networking theory is well stated. At least I know of some of the people you mentioned in your discourse.

So true and yes Mark Fried opened many doors for quite a number of us.

Love it! Thanks for sharing, Derek. :)

-pw

Your friend in Bangkok, Thailand

Derek, thank you for sharing your interesting life story and pointing out the lessons we can all learn from it.

You have been lucky, but also smart and kind, so when a lucky meeting came along you made the best of it. People genuinely like you and always want to help you.

We have exchanged e-mails and you have been very kind with advice and suggestions. I look forward to the day I can repay your kindness in some way. That is genuine friendship.

But our connection is certainly another example of your point.

Thanks, Buddy!

Great examples, Derek. And worth adding a bit on the value of patience. I was looking to change fields a few years back and reached out to lots of folks I didn't know. Many, many good chats. A few led to other good connections, but none to the job I was seeking. It took almost a year & 60+ convos. And then bang! Someone connected me w/ two folks & I landed in a great spot. It might have happened at any point but glad I wasn't in a rush. The more people I talked to , the better I felt about my direction...was just a matter of time. Maybe I could have sped things up with a pizza :)

I always create new stuff but have difficulty getting myself to put it out there since I feel it's not "finished". The hard part for me is getting a track to where it feels complete, and not simply adding to the "din" that the internet has generated. Once it is done, I know who to send it to, because sites like Airplay.Jango.com have allowed me to aggregate thousands world wide (for a price) who dig what I do, but I get little feedback. Guess I could use SoundCloud or something, but in short the question would be whether to focus on connecting primarily to people first, or to connect to them via the tools they use to entertain and inform?

Such a great article! There really can be so much value in building new connections from scratch. Especially with social networking as big as it is today, it makes it that much easier.

Great stuff. I'm from Austin,Tx. Doing Inspirational Rap. I like your articles and want to push more for connection with successful people like your self. Work/School/Marriage/new Born has me super busy. But my Music goes on and on. My last concert(Feb 9,2013) sold 100 c.d.'s and 20 T-shirts. High-Power,Top,good people will get me there with all I keep doing. Thank You for your time and consideration.
Identity
www.facebook.com/jarvis.knox8

Thanks, nice stuff. simple and fascinating.

Derek, I already 'know' so many successful people, face to face...and have worked with them (sung background, written music and or produced recordings for them) and now...

Anyway...thanks for this encouraging article...Sakamoto, by the way, is one of my fav composer/pianists.

Just joined Jimmy Webb's message board in an effort to get in touch with him. (I sang on many of his recordings back in the day...Diana Ross, Richard Harris, etc.) Guess I'm doing a bit of 'shooting in the dark.'

This is a great article on seizing initiative and follow-through.

I stumbled across it on Lifehacker and was surprised to see that a good number of the comments were negative, thinking that Derek was setting him up as Mother Theresa, then attacking his actions for not being charity.

If I were on a desert island, I'd be happier with the group of people here.
Yeah I think the problem with LifeHacker's re-post of this is that the changed the title to emphasize the pizza, which misses the whole point. — Derek

Good article - always a good idea to keep making connections.

I believed the world runs on networking and was essential for success in any industry , but penning it down with such ease makes it looks soooo doable :)

Hey Derek,
This article is a timely reminder to keep in touch with all the folks who love Yoko's music. She is getting set to record an RnB album and if the money ran free she would like to produce another Dharma CD simultaniously. Do you know anybody who wants to donate to her CD production costs?
Lots of Love~Thank you, as always, for your
insightful article,
Oya

a sage as always ;~)

Great advice and insight Derek.
Once upon a time many moons ago I went about reaching out to, meeting and fostering a relationship with one of the people I had the most respect for through their written work and ideas.

This reclusive figure was notorious even among his closest associates and thought to be basically unreachable by "new" people.

Not only did I meet this awesome, genius-like person but I fostered a lasting relationship of several years that had a massive impact on my life in ways I probably don't even understand.

Though his time on this planet was fleeting when I met him, he gave me his time mostly I believe because I was sincere and genuine in my approach and because I'd clearly thought through what it was I was trying to understand and why I was reaching out to him.

I do miss him.

Keep up the excellent work Derek!

Dave

Derek, as always great advice. It worked for me when I met you and continutes to be a key to my success. Went back to the family business last year and I'm not only replacing all of the primary power that runs Disneyland but our company was just selected to be mentored by the Walt Disney Corporation for the next two years. A real gift for a small family owned electrical construction business.

As always I wish you well and the greatest of success. Let me know the next time you're in LA it would be great to have a visit.

Best of life, Steve Petersen

Thank you Derek for sharing, you are a beautiful inspiration for many of us out there in the music business.
Healthy vibes
JC

Nice article, as always. Thank you for sharing, Derek.

Wow Derek, that was both refreshing and encouraging. Thanks for caring enough to post something so valuable!

Once again, it's the give-before-you get formula.

//Scott

Clearly, I need to keep Pizza Hut on my speed dial.

Really helpful. Thank you, Derek!

So true. Everything you say always inspires me to be greater and do more than I can possibly imagine. I recently reached out myself and found a bassist for my band. The first guy I came in contact with was the one. He's a great musician and addition to our band.

Hello!

Because I admire you. And why not start with you?

Thanks,
SG

Connection is so important and not only in music sector. I train candidates to strategy consulting - conseil en strategie in french - and assessed that +40% of preparation time has to be dedicated to "being connected", thanks for this article.

Terrific stuff! Short yet effective. Do you have a Facebook page that we could subscribe to and get updates about your latest posts? That would help a great deal! :)

Derek, I found this article to be enlightening as with all your articles....for such a super successful person I find you super down to earth, and very very curteous with responses. Vermont is tough...got to get out. Always had great validation from LA. Never had any ties to anyone in the east afterall. Also, believe it or not i met more compassionate people in LA than I did in Vermont...No joke.

Derek this was a super cool article. I am glad I have the internet to prove my music is alot more appreciated outside of Vermont. People wanted me to move out to LA, and I do not know why I was too scared to relocate. Now, I am ready.

Derek all your articles are fascinating. You really want to help everyone. I am sure St. Peter will have you cut in front of the line at the Gates of Heaven

Great article.

You describe a very postive situation of "who you know." Through your simple kindness, Mr. Fried "knew" something important about your character which helped you to get the job. I think a key factor was that you provided pizza for the class, not just the speaker. On the negative side, I've seen decisions made to fill a job vacancy before it was even posted. Several applicants were put through the paces of an interview in spite of the fact that the decision had already been made. You simply have to let those experiences roll off your back confident that the strength of your character will be rewarded.

So true. You have always been a source of inspiration for me Derek.

Thank you for adding to the list of reasons why.

Amber

Derek, thanks for sharing, keep up the good work!!

I will share this with the people around me that need it. Those searching for good energy, direct and inspiration.

Love your stuff :)

Ashton Paul

p.s. we are on the verge of a biz breakthrough @yourbuildplan

Derek - it's all who you know was awesome! I try to live my your philosophy of simply reaching out to folks too but the way you lay it out is brilliant! Appreciated it very much, and would love to connect! I need to start writing more and now am going to - stay tuned!

Of course, Derek, you created more than a passing impression on him. You heard a problem and solved it, without needing to be told to. You heard a need and filled it, without making it about you. And you heard an opportunity and believed in it. And followed up on it. And as a result, created massively more opportunities.

But it started with taking care of someone else's needs, not asking them to take care of yours.

In this "what have you done for me lately" world, one of the best ways to stand out and be noticed is to be of service.

Derek,
Once again you give us all hope that we can effect change and positive connections for success. I would like to hang out with you for a few hours and have your attitude rub off on me a bit.

Thank you for the great email
Dan Doshier
we met through CDbaby: big smile
Dan

Wow!! If folk who follow your wisdom and experiences don't grab on to the pizza story they may have missed a tool for the box. I think the point of acting fast on information is of course part of the equation. Also for me listening closely to our surroundings and interactions has been invaluable to success on every path. I don't think going to extremes of "bugging" offices or areas lines up with this story, probably some have and do. Listen and be aware in the moment, then "strike while the arn is hot"

Love this story, it kind of proves that it's not really 'who you know' it's more like 'who you are' that gets you to know 'who you know' if you know what I mean.....lol.

So true...I make a point to at least meet one person wherever I go. They don't have to be famous but I've met famous people by just walking up to them and talking to them like normal people. For example, I met Mel Ramos, a famous painter at an art fair few weeks ago and chatted and got a photo op. He even took one of my business card(I make magnet b.c. from artwork that I paint). Maybe he'll copy it one day and that would be an honor! lol I also chat up service workers like bartenders, servers, bathroom lady, etc...you never know who they'll be or who they are. I don't expect anything to come out of it, just chatting and having a good moment. But if they are jerks, fergetaboutit...even if they are famous! Derek, you're awesome! :D

Excellent advice as usual, Derek, and definitely words that musicians could use. Most artists see no possibility of getting "into the fortress", when it's really only made of individuals...and when you ask someone's advice especially or treat them kindly, they're much more open to helping you out than if you just ask for favors from the get-go. Funny the way our minds jump to the finish line when we could be making new contacts every day.

Say hello to someone you admire, add value to the Net. Wow. Great suggestions. Thank you.

Thanks Derek! People can be some closed minded sometimes! You can always go and meet new people! That's an invisible barrier that people can't seem to break through.

I really enjoy your acute insights and have to concur. Even having one person give a testimonial for the time that you spent working with a business can lead to chain of events that give you an abundance of opportunity. Look for ways that you can contribute, no matter how small or big you think they may be. So make every opportunity count, for who knows where they may lead you.
A big thank you to Tim O'Neill from Reactive Media for the kind words that have meant the world to me.

Inspiring story and tips on music business, Derek.
Thanks for sharing!

Love this when working with people who seem to have no hope I love to share stories like this.
The opportunities for success are walking by you every day, they are to many times disguised as work, or awkward feelings.

Rock on

It's great that you had that mindset when you were 18. Enterpreneurship, networking, etc. is looking out for needs and taking action to solve them.

Back then I mostly just thought about myself and it's been a journey coming out of all that.

Good thoughts. However I still plan on dating Taylor Swift. :-)

Hey Derek,

How's it going?

I'm just stopping by to say that I've stumbled across your articles via Music Clout. Since then, I've been reading them and have to say that I find them to be seriously inspiring and brilliant.

Your attitude is exceptional and is applicable to anyone and anything in life.

I just wanted to say thanks for sharing these positive, motivating and enlightening insights.

Keep it up man. So awesome.

Cheers,
Jeff

I am just saying hello to you. I am the husband of Lynn Fishman from Montreal. I want to say thank you for all your interest and encouraging words. We (both Lynn and I) appreciate your direction and friendship. God bless.
Regards always, Al

Hey Derek, you're awesome. Thanks for simplifying life and always speaking to "me," not a mass audience. You're a great inspiration and I appreciate all you're doing for people. Looking forward to the next blog post!
Nate

thanks for the article. very helpful for young up and comers!

I love this article and agree with everything except the luck part.

Been thinking about this a bit lately ... the old "it's who you know" thing. What's underlying this is the belief that opportunities do not come fairly and are not fairly spread out over people, and you're either connected, lucky, or SOL.

Ultimately, golden opportunities come more frequently than we realize, and more randomly. We ALL occasionally rub elbows with people who can help us from time to time. The thing is, you have to be willing to keep slogging away in the meantime. If you wait until the golden opportunity appears in front of you before you start working, you've waited too long.

I've had these talks with people sometimes, and heard them complaining at other times in my life. I'll carefully remove any distinguishing marks from this story, but there is someone I know well who had an ambition to do something that was very inherently closed-shop. It is very much a tiny cadre of folks who do it, and you do NOT get into that cadre unless you've been chopping wood and carrying water for at least 15 years.

So he got into it, did it for about six MONTHS tops, and quit because "it's who you know, man. It's all bullsh*t!" What he didn't want to recognize was that it was "who you know" for everyone else at some point, too. All those "lucky" b*stards who "knew" the right guy had been slogging away at the job for about fifteen years. If you wait long enough, eventually at random you'll wind up at a barbecue where Some Big Name Guy is there and you can exchange phone numbers over a beer, and eventually something will come of it. But in the meantime, you have to BE THERE. You have to be doing it for 15 years in order to have those chance encounters happen enough that one of them will bear fruit.

So yes, it is sort of ultimately "who you know." But if you wait long enough, you get a chance to "know" somebody for pete's sake. You just have to be willing to put in the sweat during the "long enough" part. Those authors whose books wound up as zillion-sellers because some personal trainer mentioned it to Oprah Winfrey wouldn't have gotten jack squat out of that chance encounter had they not written the stupid book in the first place!

Random lucky opportunities aren't distributed evenly, but eventually they do hit us all. We just have to be prepared to meet them.

I love this piece. So grounded in actual experience. That makes the advice worth considering and acting on. Thanks!

That story about the pizza and how it lead to an amazing personal and business relationship with Mark Fried gave me chills! Just amazing how helping someone out with their rumbling stomach could lead to a wealth of contacts and industry experience a few years down the road.

Very inspirational.

Over and over I've found that 'loose' associations create amazing connections and opportunities with other like-minded souls working on similar lines, across a range of interests - in my case from helping shape better and fairer systems of economics, to supporting change agents to become better communicators, to helping reunite lost dogs with owners and ways to capture surplus food for people who need it. Champion the work of others, help them find what and who they need to make it happen. Often, no one even knows you played a role.

It's led to me meeting a number of 'virtual' contacts offline; connections which might otherwise never have been made or been 'awkward' due to perceived power imbalances and/or minimal interpersonal contact initially are facilitated by allowing others a window into your world and perspective via social media.

Be useful, be generous with your connections, knowledge time - not just because it will probably come back to you, but because you can, and because it strengthens the efforts of us all.

Hi Derek,

I wanted to say hello really quick and thank you for all the stuff I am absorbing from you/your website. I just discovered you yesterday through a chain of connections of which I don't know anyone personally that brought me to learning about who you are. The company I currently work for put out an email with a snippet from a book called 20,000 Days & Counting which I read by Robert Smith. I was on his website and downloaded a free e-book for people who are writers. In that download he talked about AppSumo as one of his favorite places to gather info etc. From there I discovered your videos and then been on your site directly and I'm clicking on everything like a cyber sponge...Ha! Loved this article because it's so true because doing one little thing can set a course you could never create in a million years no matter how much you thought it out or tried to map it out. Thanks for doing what you do and sharing it!

All The Best!

Colton
Very cool. Thanks Colton. I love those random chain of events to find something new. — Derek

Great stuff Derek! Reminds me to keep connecting while also being thoughtful about whom I surround myself with on a regular basis. As they can directly impact my level of confidence and the size of the goals I set.

I feel the title of this post should really be "It's all what you're not afraid to ask for!".

Very often people only push themselves beyond discomfort and achieve a new level of success when their back is against the wall, it's a matter of survival and there is no other option, I know this from recent personal experience.

We bounce between two imaginary lines above and below us commonly called our "comfort zone" but this should really be called our "failure zone" because while we remain within its borders we're either going nowhere or welcoming mediocrity as the norm.

I'm learning to embrace my own fears and get uncomfortable more and more frequently because I realize that's where the magic happens - at the same time I'm encouraging other to ask more of me and I'm giving more of myself to others.

Great post Derek, it got me thinking so thank you for that.

- Adam

I tried to surround myself with a very smart, successful person with a brilliant mind, and a wonderful, unique perspective, for this very purpose. That person was you. Really enjoyed picking your brain, and hearing your life lessons. Only wish it could have lasted longer! What is your tip on keeping connections? (In general now) its hard to find that delicate line of stalking/ cold calling the successful people you would love to surround yourself with..what can a less successful person possibly offer their idols, to be in their circle, for the very purpose of growth, learning, experience?
I think it's best not to try to sustain it, if it doesn't seem too mutual. There are some people I thought I'd click with, but it wasn't too mutual, so I let it go. But others turned into a real friendship. — Derek

I often feel that there is a huge canyon between me and who I idolize. I need to be more confident, willing to offer that extra help that will open doors, and have an attitude of success. Wouldn't mind dating Taylor Swift though ha!

Derek,
Thank you for being consistently inspiring! With a great sense of humor too:-)

I absolutely agree about the online networking.

I hope I will soon encourage others with my success as an actress/singer.

Great having you around!

...just finished "Anything You Want". very entertaining and informative!

The only thing I'd disagree with is the role of "luck" in success. I no longer believe in the stuff, in fact I've seen enough 'lucky coincidences' in my short time on this planet that I'm convinced we simply create our own luck.

I suspect its by some mechanism that is probably related to quantum physics and/or holograms somehow - you've probably heard it a million places: The universe reflects back on you what you put into you, you reap what you sow. Sounds like cliche's but give it a shot - focus on being successful at a specific task for 30 days, let it consume your thought process at all times.

If you're still at square one by the end of the month I owe you a beer ;)

It always seems to be strangers that have the best connections. It's wise to treat everyone like a prince of some sort.

Cool story! More people need to read this. Or at least every single university student out there!
Cheers,

Ash

Derek! My roommate Noaa who is currently attending Berklee recommended i should check out your page and I must say your an inspiration. After embracing a fully positive outlook on life 2 years ago I began connecting with people in a more genuine way. My intention to genuinely learn more about strangers actually made it easier. Just today I had a distant friend ask me about social advice and I recommended your page to her. You are absolutely right when you say aiming low will only keep you there. May you continue to do well and inspire others. I know with my effort and honest intentions I will one day get the break I need. Thank you Derek!

Very encouraging. Thanks.

I saved this post to re-read it on days like today. Your message is uplifting and encouraging every time I read it and remind myself. Thanks for taking the time to post your work Derek.

Great article! Thanks for this. This is so enlightening.

It's OK to have mixed motivations, AND I am focused on the other person more than myself, and (does this make sense?) focused more on being nice than on socializing for my own joy.

I understand people wanting to succeed, but I don't like it when people are overly intent on themselves.

After Dale Carnegie reported making an elevator operator's day by complimenting him on his fine head of hair, someone asked Dale, "What were you trying to get out of him?" The answer is nothing, for Dale had a lifestyle habit of being nice to others. I try to do that too, forgiving myself for having mixed (not pure) motivations.

What I am trying to say is: Don't worry about seeming phoney. I remind myself, "Because I am afraid to love, you are alone."
i LOVE that “what were you trying to get out of him?” story. I read it when I was 18 and still remember it. Everyone should read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Amazing book. — Derek