Great piece. Love this one.

Human to human connections have a great chance of succeeding when that other stuff is peeled away. Thanks for the nudge, Derek!

Great story Derek.
It reminds of a friend of mine who had a major influence on me. He was a generous talkative guy who had done all sorts of jobs throughout his life. At some point, he told me he had been a prison director. I was curious to know how he succeded to be around prisoners being the person that he was, polite with happy demeanor. He told me his success in establishing relationship with the prisonners resided in the difference between wanting to be loved and wanting to be respected. So he didn't want to be loved, but respected and he did it by always speaking the truth, trying to be fair at all times. His intergrity commanded respect.

Anyways, thanks Derek : )

A great story that captures a timeless lesson as always. Noah Kagan put it this way: "you can either be a fan or a friend".
Good quote! Thanks for that. — Derek

Hah! Photo of the giant Christ statue is a perfect complement to this story. :)

Beautiful! A great reminder that it's all about those true human connections, more so than anything else.

Derek -

Only when I stopped singing for money did I truly connect in my music. I know that is not true for all, but it ended being true for me. The Voice took me places, but I gained no sense of home. The Voice had people listen, but not to me, just the songs. Now, I have a home, people I love and still sing for joy. Maybe I had to learn to not have the Voice be me but to be just part of me. It was a big lesson not trying to impress anyone anymore. What my mom taught oh so long ago was true, you can either try to impress people or try to enjoy them. It is almost impossible to do both simultaneously. Thank you for the reminder

Ha True this .. short sharp article ... like it Derek. I’ve done this. Tried to be friends with A&R people and tried to be friends with lecturers chasing the wrong people and it never works. They always were surprised to find i was a nice mild guy and they didn’t want that ... they always wanted me to throw the tv out of the hotel window and be an agorant prick, Always better to be yourself. I once joined Linked in as a musician (bad idea)!all I got was a message from some guy at Sony saying ‘what you doing on here Dick head’.. ... connection is an odd thing .. the personal touch does matter and you have to click naturally. Always be yourself. Also set your own stall out rather than chase other stalls. People always respect that. .. but yeah Derek this would make good advice in your book

Cool story Derek. Thanks for sharing it!!!:-0~

Wow! Awesome story! I can definitely relate! Connecting on a personal level is a skill we all should work on continuously developing if we don't know how already intrinsically.

- www.richardsmithbeverly.com -

Great advice. I have had moderate success in a small genre for many years - always through the help of friends, NOT business contacts.

To Sylvain at #3,
I have always respected how Warden Clinton Duffy never used slang, certainly not convict slang. Partly, I guess, as a sign that he wasn't trying to be liked. His wife later wrote a book about being a warden's wife.

Warden Duffy was famous in his lifetime for being able to walk into the main yard without any guards and not be hurt. In fact, I read in Bill Sand's book that the "cons" (there's my slang) would start clapping to show respect when he entered.

To Derek:
What helps me struggle against my fear of being seen as an "apple polisher"or "self promoter" towards teachers and important people is to remember a mantra from a student of Professor Jesse Lair, "Because I am afraid to love, you are alone." When I meet with that intention, no one has ever hurt my feelings.

Great story, I've had several instances like that in my life, a couple not as earth shattering but a couple of them changed the direction of my life. That's the way things are supposed to happen, organically. Being open and just being you can open more doors than pushing and trying to make things happen. A genuine person can spot a bull shitter a mile away. Love your email messages!

Brad
Green Bay,WI

Always the best way! Great reminder, and thanks for sharing!

Such a beautiful story, Derek.

Feels right.I

And I truly love your wisdom Derek!! Always, thank you!

Hi Derek,

So true. The Universe, God, all that is works through people in serendipitous ways. A quote from a chant I channeled "Be in the present. Savor every moment. Follow the magic. Dwell in my heart."
Cheers,
Buddy

Hi Derek,

When I lived in Tokyo, I had a job photographing the head of Chase Manhattan Bank; he handed me his business card and said, "Hi, my name is Timothy. You can call me Tim."
I handed him my business card and said,"Hi, my name is Pamela. You can call me Pamela."
I was still myself and didn't shorten my name to appear more friendly. Chase hired me as their regular photographer while I lived there.

A great story Derek, friendship first.

Yes, the power of organic conversation! A gr8 reminder to just relax and enjoy being your natural self.. :~)

Hey Derek,

This is awesome, I'm so glad you're writing this book! I was actually just listening to your book "Anything You Want" as refresher. I had my girlfriend listen to it and now she understand where a good amount of my business philosophy comes from which she never understood (she works in finance). Would love to tell you about my new service PlaylistPush when you have a free moment.

Kia Ora

George

Great great note. The simplest things that happen to us sometimes give us the greatest lessons. Everything seems so complex at times, we create a difficult formula because “it’s what you’re supposed to do” and when you step back and simplify it a few layers - it feels great to have that “duh” moment .... Thank you for sharing.

Being real with others. I like that. Thank you Derek🌻

Great story Derek.

Great lesson as well.

Thanks for this post, Derek.
"Some dude..." - some dudette - we're all the same. What's interesting in this story is that the Proximity, yet Removal from the typical milling around - was what spurred the moment for connection to unfold. Also you were smart to head to the pool, who doesn't like pools?
-- So the next time I'm at an industry event, I'll head to the 'edges' where the pools are.

Hello Dereck thank you very much for posting this story that often happens with us musicians. That's the truth. We have to be careful and let things happen normally. The guys who hold high positions in the arts business in general, like to feel normal and regular people when they are in a moment of discounting and slack.

Best Wishes
Marcos Ariel

Great story and a wonderful message. I couldn't agree any more.

Very cool story. I've been learning that the hard way myself. After my decade in Japan I got used to doing business in a quick, to the point manner. Turns out that doesn't go over very well back home in the States. The personal touch means a lot. If only I knew then what I know now and so forth. Ah well, you live and you learn. At any rate you live.

I had a similar experience when moving to a new city, where I didn't know who the "famous" people were. I ended up having great discussions and forging friendships with a whole bunch of interesting people, some of whom are so well-known that I would have been intimidated to talk to them.

I love this (moreso than The Alchemist which it reminded me of)

Always so nice when it happens

Great piece! Thanks for sharing.

it can work in reverse too. i had put you on a pedestal and you discouraged it. Your active effort of establishing a more equal connection was appreciated.
Ha! Thank you. I was going to mention that in the article, but decided that was too much about me. ☺ — Derek

That has happened to me several times. It is amazing how you can relax when titles are not known.

I really like the honesty of this retrospective. It is your straight and to the point prose. My only comment is to add a patience piece at the end. For example, young readers may think this is blind luck whereas I see it as your patience to let the moment come to you when you are being real.

So beware of putting people on a pedestal. It can prevent a real friendship.

But above all be yourself and be patient.

What a beautifulstory sorryi sm quit visuslly impaired.i have always beensuch a shy person offstage and am not industryy known .

Derek,

This is so true. I have met several people not knowing who they were in the industry. This is great because you can just be yourself and see if it is someone you would want to work with regardless of position. Those small conversations can help you discover a little about the people who can help you in the long run.

Amazing article. This happened to me once on a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles where I was sitting next to a lady who happened to be a music supervisor for television. I didn't know this at the time and had a really long conversation with her about life in general and then the topic of music came up and she was interested in hearing more about my career. At the end of the encounter she gave me her personal email and told me to send her some music. Months later she successfully placed my song on a television show.

Loved this!
☺ !!! — Derek

The most enduring business relationships are as any other relationship. They begin with authenticity, generousity, respect, and mutually shared deep interests. Like your email connection with Artie Barnes, my husband. He loves your posts and continues to love CD Baby...you have left behind a great legacy.

Great story. Thank you for sharing and showing your vulnerability as well, it's much appreciated. Vulnerability can transmute into strength, and strength into vulnerability.

Excellent read Derek and so true.

Yes, it is very true. I also have these kind of incidences. If I know who the next person is and what is his designation and position in his field. I automatically narrow down the topics and try to talk around his topics and show him that see, how much I know about your field. Sometimes it's embarrassing when you recognize that you know very less about his/her field.
Friendship is unconditional and it's not showing up. As much less you know about the next person, that much you are comfortable with him/her because there is nothing to lose situation.

Awsome story. Makes me think of good things happen when we least expect them. Sort of like reverse psychology.

I think it takes experience to just be yourself in those situations. For example if I’m pitching songs to publishers or other industry gatekeepers, I just make sure I love the material first and realize they may not have a need for it. I also ask what their day is like and show genuine interest in them. They always appreciate the question and then we can just have a normal conversation.
Thanks,
Al

I just noticed that only you can leave replies to comments! You seem to have done a good job of scaling being on a pedestal. 10 years ago I was a YouTuber with thousands of subscribers and thousands of views per video. It was really fun in the beginning when I felt like I could connect with everyone. Over time I had trouble "scaling" that feeling (not being on a pedestal). It was kind of one of those "be careful what you wish for" kind of deals... :P Just the other day I wrote that I want to be a (un)celebrity. You seem to be pretty good at that! lol ;)

Hi Derek.
Thanks for all the new articles. Always enjoy reading the. Just turned 65 this last January. Thought about how helpful you have been to me over the years.
Be Well

Nice, we think connection in business is with the head however the real stuff happens with the heart.
Just working on a music workshop for next month. Love to use this as an example if OK. Great work thanks Derek

Super cool! And so right!

Hi Derek, great thoughts my sentiment exactly. As the mother of 26 year old that's what I always advised her and portrayed, from the cleaner at your office building to the CEO you treat them all the same and anyways as a Christian that's my values too. Thanks for the article.

So real Derek,

Really true. Practiced this unintentionally (but likely cause I remember this story from "Anything You want" and it worked! Perfect reminder to let me know I am finding the right approach like you've talked about. Keep these coming brotha!

/Rogan

The key is, be yourself. And yes, Vegas is still weird- in a good way, I find.

Love reading these Derek.

Hi Derek,

I share it on facebook


BEST regards
Jan

Love this!

Love this Derek. Great reminder. For me this crap happens in 2 ways. I put many people on pedestal and act weird around them. But I also put myself on a pedestal around other people which is also completely useless. Thanks for the reminder.

Gday Derek,
Hope you are well.
I am lucky to be very well
I turned 80 on Jan 4 Dereek
Wish you well son!

Great idea! Not only in music, but in most of the areas, pedestal is not a good thing, it prevents many possibilities from happening. A comfortable conversation which is thought to be equal by both sides will always be good.

Great story and reminder.

In the midst of glamarous shiny show-off, sincerety is what we value most after all.

Really cool and very educational. Thanks!

This is so powerful and such an important reminder. I forget this most days - glad I'm not alone!

Hi Derek,
Love your story by the pool and how unassuming this meeting was. Look forward to the next read.

If you had known who he was would you have introduced him to anyone else?

Any examples of putting that in practice later on would be cool too. Like when you meet someone you know is important but how to play it cool when you may have a natural reaction to panic.

Nice story. People are people, we pull on our pants pretty much the same way, although rich people likely pull on much more expensive pants than poor people.
God is no more respecter of rich people than He is of the poor, we are all important to Him.

I would add that just being nice to other people has a ridiculous return on investment (although that should not be your only motivation). As a marriage and family therapist in training, empathy and kindness are necessary and sometimes sufficient qualities for getting positive therapeutic outcomes with clients. People thrive on validation, which is essentially what empathy and kindness are forms of.

I have put musicians from cities around my little town, on those pedestals. It does hamper connection, and it almost happened again recently, as I tried to break into the Springfield, Il music scene. I caught myself thinking those same old self deprecating thoughts and cut it short. I didn't have the luxury of meeting someone off-the-cuff like you did, but I consciously played things cool, and hung out as friends, letting them talk about what they wanted, and agreed with them. They would up inviting me to sit in at open mics with them, and from there got into a good band. I still have my insecurities, but I'm keeping it to myself.

Good reminder that we're all human and our interaction works best when we realize this simple fact. Many cultures have a more personal "let's-spend-some-time-together" aspect of their professional businesses, whether it's frequenting the local watering hole the night before a big meeting, a little karaoke, or a working lunch. People are people.

Love it! We eliminated the word Prospecting from our organization. We replaced it with Relationship Development. The spirit behind the word is to genuinely invest in relationships in truly meaningful ways.

Great story, Derek!

I think you told this story before on Tim Ferriss podcast. My question is, what would you recommend to a person who meet someone they admire and look up to?

Say, if I met you in person, I'd probably try really hard to leave a good impression on you, even though I know it's not the best approach to make friends.

Thank you!

What a refreshing take on the tired and stressful standard networking advice. Thanks for this insight.

Its truly inspirational Derek.

However, I don't think it would be appropriate to connect on a personal level at all times! Some people just like to keep business strictly professional and do not connect at a personal level, at least initially. What do you think about that?

Big companies would do recruitment presentations at our business school. Kids would turn up in suits and sit at the front, resumes in hand. My friend would walk in the back at the end and help himself to free food and beer.

Guys from Merryl Lynch tugged his coat as people were leaving.

"Did you just come for the beer?"
He showed them his list of presentations to attend for the next week.
"So can you show us the good bars in town?"

You're so awesome is what my feedback is... everything you write is rather brilliant and means so much to me. Sometimes it just reiterates what I already feel which makes me feel better about things. Sometimes you teach me something new, introduce me to a great new book, inspire me to read every single one of the books you have on your good book list (I have actually read a lot of them), or say something that changes everything... to me, YOU'RE the biggest wig in music ;)

Couldn't agree more. The power of a genuine conversation without any knowledge of profession, background, or business experience of that person, opens up new doors to friendship. You're right, the idea of business being the idea of meetings, proper demeanour, professionalism, etc. isn't always the case. A lot of people are looking for "real" people, not those just chasing the money.

Great story Derek.

It always works well when you are just are two dudes talking beside a pool. Great story. The anxiety is not even on the table when your relating to each other.

This is so true. When I went to my first music industry-related conference, I struck up a conversation with someone because I overheard him talking about the football team from my home state. We both lamented their poor season and I turned to walk away. He asked if I wanted to join his group for lunch and when he said his name, I realized he was one of the panelists and the people in his group were grammy-winning producers, writers, etc. They became my friends and mentors. It taught me how important it is to treat everyone with respect and as people worthy of conversation - no matter who you think they are or aren't. Just be sincere, work hard and with excellence and the rest will come. Thanks for the article!

That’s an interesting story Derek! Tim Ferriss related a similar story on a podcast I think. He was at SXSW hanging out, not at all trying to network. He casually began a conversation with the wife of his future publisher? Love your stuff man. Peace

like, so true. it really resonates with real life.

Yep - people are people. Just be a mensch and it will take you far.

So very true! I remember when I was a bartender at the viper room and later Hotel Cafe. I always had an appreciation for who someone was first rather than their status. I think I have lost sight of this at times. Thank you for the reminder.

Hi Derek,

Awesome story. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Even the pope is just a man like the rest of us.

Craig

I love your story, Derek. The truth of it, too. So I'll tell you one.

I was on a movie set as an extra. It was about 2:00am: they were shooting a scene in the middle of the night, because that's when the lighting and temp were right for that scene. Break time came, and we all went to get a bite to eat there on set. Samuel L. Jackson was getting a bite to eat, too. I watched the fawning. I felt this sad feeling in my gut... how it all looked and felt like objectification. He's a person, he's hungry, let the man eat...

So I went to get some food, too, and as he approached where I stood assembling a sandwich, I said something quietly that I thought was funny about one of his roles, and how that was probably a helluva lot more fun that being out in the cold on this low-budget gig, and he laughed. Like a real, big laugh. It sounded like relief. I laughed with him.

He never sent me any work, but that laugh we shared, it was golden. It was like... we were just buds for a minute, laughing at life.

Somewhere I have a picture of us laughing.
(OK, I'm not immune to fame, either:)

Great point! When we want something from people we forget that they are humans and instead of giving us what we need, we should simply engage with them as we would with everyone else.

Hey Derek,
I remember running into you at that conference in Las Vegas after having not seen you for a long time. You told me about CD Baby, and the rest is history! Btw, valuable advice here. I hope all is well. All my best. A

Completely agree - I suffer from this problem all the time, and through my teenage years and many years after, this issue constantly plagued me in bars/clubs trying to talk to women, especially good looking ones. I'd get myself so worked up trying to think of something to say, that when the time came to break the ice, I'd just end up as the "dribbling idiot" that wouldn't win the heart of the fair maiden.

Many years later (and I'm using this as an example NOT a boast), I was in Windsor Great Park (just outside Windsor Castle, the English Royals, etc., for those that don't know), taking some photos of a horse event that was happening.

In between loading film (yes, it was before digital) Prince Philip suddenly appeared beside me - I didn't even know he was at the event - and started asking me about how I though things were going, and whether I like the camera I was using, because he preferred whatever brand he used. The point is, after the fact, I realised that I'd actually had a really good conversation with him, about all kinds of "stuff", purely because I didn't have time to prepare, and therefore get all tongue tied and nervous. If I'd know beforehand I was going to meet him, he'd have been up on the pedestal, and I'd have reverted into dribbling idiot mode.

That was a turning point for me... yes, he was royalty, but he was actually just a guy (albeit in an important position), and a normal person, and I'd treated him like anyone else I might've met on the street - although I'm not sure whether that breached any royal protocol.

But it made me realise that everyone's human, regardless of how big, or famous, or infamous, they may be - and now I'll talk to pretty much anyone about anything, reasonably happily, without becoming the same dribbling idiot that I was all those years ago.

I have a close friend (46 years) and major record producer who has worked with the best in the business. He has no ego and I treat him like a brother. Other musicians who occasionally work with him can't believe some of the things I say to him in jest because they put him on a pedestal. Our friendship means the world to me and to him. He sends me projects and I ask him for help with mine. He's a wonderful person and I wouldn't change a thing. Your comments are spot on.

Derek, very good story, I know exactly what your are talking about. Always important to be yourself and genuine with those you meet and also to not put people on pedestals which as you pointed out prevents a genuine connection.

I was working on a Sunday when the guard in the building came to me to say the police were outside wanting to talk with me as someone had hit my car. Told all involved I was not too concerned as it wasn’t but a few scratches and that I was happy there was no damage to my PA inside. The dude that backed into my car owns a car dealership and is building a restaurant which will soon be hiring entertainment. Chances are I will be the first act 🤗 ? He gave me a tour as the restaurant is next to my work. Every person I told the story to knew this guys name as he is pretty well to do. I’m kind of thinking he appreciated my not knowing him and by passing the police report .

This article spoke to me in an interesting way. To be completely honest, I'm struggling to know how to apply it to myself. Since I was a child, I've had a fascination with "famous" people, mostly baseball players, but it's bled over into other people that I look up to. Interestingly, it's also motivated me to meet and befriend the people that I look up to, but I often become starstruck when I do meet them. It's quite the predicament. From this article, I've concluded that I should remember to see the human within those that I look up to.

Derek,

I'm not a musician, I'm a writer and fledgling cookie entrepreneur from India. "Anything You Want" made a lot of sense to me and I look forward to reading this book too! Thank you for the repeated reminders to keep it human and grounded.

Excellent! Thanks for sharing this experience and good advice. As always, Derek, your advice is applicable, not only to the field of music, but to life, in general.

Hi Derek....
I'm so glad you wrote and shared this. I have done that myself, and it's been done to me (the pedestal thing). Recently I met someone who offered to allow me to use her office space for my practice. I didn't know her or her "status" among her profession. Because of that, I had a real interaction with her and didn't worry about having to act like someone I'm not. Later, I found out more about her and was glad I didn't know ahead of time. I get the feeling she doesn't let just anyone use her space. Maybe she felt "real" from me.

I think a lot of people (not all) who get put on a pedestal don't like being up there. It's hard to maintain that and at some point I think the realization kicks in that it's a facade.

Thank you for all you share, Derek.
Janine

An excellent life lesson and so very true.

That's the way it works! When you are good person people know.

This has been a real issue for me. Hopefully I’ll get lucky, like you, and not know who i’m talking to when the situation arises.

So true. Excellent

Such a great story. Be your genuine self. Who better to be?

So kewl! Always like your stories...

The power of hello and a real conversation.

Great story and it proves that if you act your natural self
it also helps those in high places to act positively towards
you.

Derek,

again great story!
Music in the title should be in quotation marks as this is universal

Take care

In my experience from the video game industry, being genuine is the most important trait a person can have. Making the acquaintance of someone that can change your life isn't difficult, but getting them to introduce you to their friends without asking is.

My advice to everyone is; be the "Hey, you gotta meet this guy!" guy.

There's a longer story here, but it condenses to this. Make friends first and all of that other stuff will come naturally.

Thanks for the musician articles Derek although I found them to be pretty useless. The truth is, if you are really good, your skills are at a HIGH level, your songs are catchy and groovy with poetically brilliant lyrics that move people, you look sexy when you play to people, have a lot of charisma...

All this talk online, in books, etc.

It's completely irrelevant.

Just talkers talking while the doers are doing.

Derek

How true this is when many of my long term projects have come by just not knowing who I was talking to at the time or not really trying to sell my ideas.

Thank you for your article and look forward to more

This is a great reminder, thanks Derek.
I've been on both ends. Neither one works. If I put people in a pedestal and want to be friends with them, I often get disappointed because I want/expect them to be the perfect image or ideal of a person I have in mind.
When I was put on a pedestal it also often turns out bad when I'm being myself and they don't like that aspect of myself.

My teacher taught me that when you first meet people tell them all your flaws and see if they want to still be friends with you. I think this is a good approach.

What a beautiful article.

How do you balance the handful of people that you look up to without accidentally placing them on a pedestal?

The greater film industry could use some of this education.

A lot of us can write an article like this about you Derek you have been a great example of putting humanity first whilst staying grounded in your role as a business leader.

Thanks

Really like this one! I try to think of something human or imperfect about successful people I'm going to interact with. It can get a little weird in my head, but is very effective for me. For example, this guy may be in The blank Band, but I bet his feet stink or I bet his wife also forces him to watch The Bachelor. It really helps tear down the wall and realize we are all just people.

Derek,

Another great and point that isn't often made for those folks that haven't been there and are trying to figure out how to be an artist and how to 'make it'. My favorite saying of late is 'there just a person'; people are all just people'! Artists more than any other person on the planet - and there are only two types, those that are and those that are not... struggle with rejection, self worth and wondering what it takes to be successful. The old adage, it's all about the journey, is seldom taken to heart by anyone, but it's really true. Success is almost nothing but luck - being in the right place at the right time and arguably being ready when it comes. And to your point, it's about that relationships you build and meet along the way. There's always so much talent out there and many many times, the most talented people are not the ones who become famous. It can be about your desire, ambition and remember key points that you make in this article. After you've had a chance to hob-nob with the rich and famous, made money yourself and see the behind the scenes - you realize everyone is a person with the same issues, concerns, doubts and dreams to figure-out what they want and how to be happy. I'm going on a bit here - but all inspired by reading and relating to what you have written. For me personally, I struggled with this issue and went on to meet and spend time with Dave Weckl and his musical family, Yanni and his and many more and you learn - usually the hard way, but in a good way, that they all have come through the same thing and it's about being a friend, supporting each other, being able to discuss life, career, but also love and struggles and how good the wine is. Great topic!

Cool...I had a similar stiory. This is so true ...

Great Story. Keeping it real and being honest to yourself is what pays off. Thanks for sharing.

Hey Derek,

Great article. I really like that you gave a personal story. I get more out of lessons when I can relate emotionally. This is probably true of musicians too! I suffered for a long time with low self esteem, even today I have to remind myself often that I am here because I am supposed to be here. I wonder if you could at all address the feelings behind the pedalization (HAHA!). Like what was running through your head, how did you feel, was there a mantra you used, did you stutter or shake? I remember approaching someone I thought held my future in their hands, I was shaking, and mixed my words up! I felt defeated and small at the moment and after, I thought "Fuck! I can't believe you had the guts to do that!" It didn't matter what I sounded like. I didn't get the help I was looking for either, but I got more guts from having guts. I built on that. Anyways, I don't know if you get to a similar place somewhere else in the book or not. Great job!

Peace,

Tamara

Very well said! Thanks to the concept of "authority figures", I had created a lot of restlessness and a compulsion to conform in my life. I had always tried to figure out 'What way should I act, what should I say so XY would think I'm cool...' You could imagine how relaxed and 'being-myself' I was in those situations.

haha totally why I was intimidated to chase you down when I realized it was you in the airport.

I've lived this sort of thing a few times as well - still find it really difficult to overcome though when I know someone's "socio-economic level" ahead of time.

Beautiful story. Serendipity. Friendship is above everything and that makes a big difference.

thankyou derek, its refreshing to still get your incites and that you still stay in touch after all these years ,did save any of the smily faces ?i would imagine there must have been some great ones, u know what im talkin about, ya ?

This story is a bit like the reverse of that.

I had this dude on a pedestal and when I was at Midem in Jan 2006 - hawking my wares - right at the end I unexpectedly passed his stall halfway through packing up - and introvert me rallied the courage and walked over and took a chance to say hi and thanks for starting a great company.

I was shocked when he turned around - bald head with long plat - and even though he was busy and only wanted to get out of there - he stopped what he was doing and said sit down and we talked for a few minutes. He gave me 100% attention even in the midst of all that.

I had flown all the way from Australia to Cannes and put up with 3 days of madness - and those 3 mins were almost worth it. Thank you.

(oh for those who may have missed it - the stall was CDBaby)

(I saw someone else here had a similar story)

This is a good business lesson. People think their position and rank prevents them from getting to know someone above (or below) them on the career ladder, which prevents them from forming more valuable relationships as well as mentor/mentee possibilities.

This tendency might come from years of schooling (particularly in grades K-8), in which kids in older grades are intimidating and those in lower grades are immature. In that setting, both older and younger kids are unworthy of our time, and building relationships is not essential to getting good grades or fitting in with your classmates in your own grade.

Hi Derek,

I loved reading this, it reminded me of a great line from one of the late great Maya Angelou: "Never put your sheroes and heroes up on pedestals...All mortals have their shortcomings and weaknesses.Their skills and deeds are what we must applaud. Don't fall victim to the cult of personality".

Can't wait to find out when your book comes out.

Cheers,
George

absolutely true. Putting people on a pedastal helps no one except for the rare narcissist that enjoys being put on a pedastal - and those are people that you don't really need to help

We are all just people if we can keep that mind set.

"People send business to people they like". This rings truer than ever! Great piece, Derek!

One of the better pieces

Be real be yourself good advise about industry persons are just people too.

I liked Miranda at #104 having a teacher who advised her to tell her flaws upfront.

To me this is a variation on the value of being humble,
and a variation on a famous teacher from Nazareth saying if there is a status line at a long wedding table, don't push and shove to get a higher placement.

Instead, be humble enough to accept going to the end of the line... and maybe, or maybe not, someone will invite you up to a higher position... while you are being humble.

...Strange. To the ego-driven people of two thousand years ago, this blessed advice must have sounded all Greek.

Hello Derek, haha at first I thought you were going to speak of how a person puts themselves on a pedestal and how if you think you are to good for anyone else, you will lose friends.
I had a similar experience to yours. I was at a festival and started a conversation with the person standing beside me. We laughed and spoke of music. Then I introduced myself, and so did he. Turns out he is a music writer. A man I deeply respected. The smile on his face when he realized I did not know who he was and we just spoke as friends, is a moment I'll always remember. Since then I have always tried to level the playing field and enjoy meeting new people.

Great story.

Hello everyone, may I comment too? A bit sideways?
It seems to me that a lot could happen, if you are mindful, before you step up to the non-pedestal.

At #84 Kim talks to one of the royals, and at #85 Bob talks to a big producer without an ego. Well, as for the royals, I remember some overhearing some sergeants who had met Diana's kids when they were still in their teen (I think) visiting Canada. "Splendid conversationalists," said the sergeants in admiration. To me, such talking is possible when (a) like Bob's friend, you are without ego, and (b) you are mindful of what good conversation is.

For (b) you could consult your local library and role model off of someone with skills. Have faith that talking is a learned skill. Don't let a good fellow's talk go over your head. I learned to read music by copying it by hand. Nothing wrong with copying a good conversationalist so that you can truly grasp things. And practise.

It helps to be mindful of looking for the good, as George notes Maya Angelou doing, at #118.

And what all this is leading up to is that before you approach the non-pedestal it sure helps to have self-esteem. I relate to Tamara Rose at #111. Even hard nosed practical business men secretly believe in self esteem. And positive thinking too. Don't believe me? Find a person you think is a success and ask.

I am an abuse survivor. I am positive that self esteem can be raised. There are tried and proven methods for doing so. Might be best to consult a real person, not just your library, on this one. Today I am quite well, although the capacity to self-doubt will always be with me.

So yes, get some worth, some talk skills, dump the ego, and go be of help to a poor music royalty who needs a fun or kind word. You and I do indeed have something to offer.