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For no reason, here's the text version of "Over Nine Thousand"

 3 years ago
source link: https://qntm.org/9000
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For no reason, here's the text version of "Over Nine Thousand"

2007-05-03 by qntm

Internet users with disabilities such as blindness or deafness and users of text-based web browsers may not be able to fully appreciate the YouTube video "9000!! NINE THOUSAAAAANDD!" which was submitted by user Kajetokun on October 17, 2006 and has since become an internet meme.

In an attempt to rectify this problem and bring the meme to a wider audience, please find below a text transcript of this masterpiece.

Open as smoke clears after Goku, our hero, has finished a lengthy power sequence. Or an attack, or something. Pan right to two intimidated bad guys: Vegeta, the leader, and Nappa, his subordinate.

NAPPA
Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?

VEGETA
It's over nine thousaaaand!
(crushes his scouter in fury)

VEGETA
--over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

VEGETA
--over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)
(slow)
--OOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEERRRRR NIIIIIIIIINE THOOOOOOUUUUUUUSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNND
(CRUUUUUUUUUUSH)

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

Meanwhile, in a different anime series entirely, a giant robot's eye flash menacingly

--then it gets punched in face

VEGETA
It's over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)
--over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
(slow)
VEEEEEEEGGEEEEEETTTAAAAAAAAAA--

NAPPA
(reacting)
What!? Nine thousand?!

VEGETA
--over nine--

Robot blinks-- kapow

VEGETA
--thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
Vegeta!

NAPPA
(reacting)
What!? Nine thousand?!

VEGETA
--over--

NAPPA
--Nine thousand?!

Blink; punch--

punch--

punch--

VEGETA
--thousaaaand
(crush)

NAPPA
--power level?

VEGETA
It's--

Strange lilac stick figures dance, clap, then punch each other (??)

VEGETA
--over--

NAPPA
--Nine thousand?!

blink-- punch

VEGETA
--thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
--power level?

Pause. Vegeta sternly surveys the scene.

VEGETA
It's--

Pause. Vegeta sternly surveys the scene.

VEGETA
--thousaaaand
(crush)
thooouuusaaaaand
(cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuush)

Vegeta sternly surveys the scene.

VEGETA
--over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
(earlier)
Hey, Vegeta, what's up?

Vegeta grunts and looks upwards. Goku is hovering sinisterly in the sky!

Vegeta sternly surveys the--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

VEGETA
It's over nine thousaaaa--
(crush)

NAPPA
Hey, Vegeta, what's up?

Vegeta st--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

MASTER ROSHI
(elsewhere entirely)
Piccolo's--

NAPPA
--Nine thousand?!

MASTER ROSHI
Piccolo's--

VEGETA
--nine thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

NAPPA
Vegeta!--

NAPPA
Hey, Vegeta--

Vegeta sternly surv--

VEGETA
--nine thousaaaand
(crush)
It's over nine [EXPLETIVE DELETED] thousaaaand
(crush)

NAPPA
(fast)
Vgita!Whutdsthscoutrsyboutispwrlvl?

VEGETA
Itsovrninethousiiiiind!
(crsh)

NAPPA
Whtninethousind?!

Vegeta ster--

NAPPA
Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his [EXPLETIVE DELETED]?

VEGETA
It's over nine thousaaaand!
(crush)

NAPPA
[EXPLETIVE DELETED] nine thousand?!

Vegeta ster--


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