Photo by Gabrielle Mustapich on Unsplash

I have been both on the receiving end and (as embarrassing as it is to admit) even an offender of some of these fatal coffee chat crimes! It can be hard to make a comeback from a first impression if you mess up on the basic expectations of online communications — but luckily, most of them are easy to avoid with a little prep and know-how.

Be early!

I know a lot of advice says to simply be on time, but I like to take that a step further and suggest being early! From random applications needing updates to suddenly spilling coffee all over your lap, the idea has weathered the test of time that what can go wrong will go wrong. Here are my suggestions:

• Show up at least 5 minutes early to your meeting. Scheduling your meeting ahead of time will help this point.
• If you need to set an extra alarm just for the meeting, make sure you do so. It would be better to have an annoying safety net than to miss a potential opportunity to connect with someone!
• Know yourself. If you’re the type of person who cannot wake up early for the life of them, then don’t set the meeting for 8 AM. If you’re the type of person who can’t think straight during the afternoon slump between 12 and 3PM, then avoid those hours— setting yourself up for failure does no one any favors!

Know your person’s time zone

Now that a lot of coffee chats are online, I feel like we are tackling a unique problem: make sure that you schedule your coffee chat in your person’s time zone!

Most of the time, it’s not a huge faux pas to accidentally schedule an hour earlier or later, but it can reflect poorly on your attention to detail! In order to make sure you get it right, here are some tips:

• Pay attention to the location the person has listed on their LinkedIn profile…
• …and be sure to confirm that the time zone is correct!
• If you prefer to be high-tech, you can use a scheduling tool like Calendly that will take care of the timezone issues for you! I’ve used them before and I like them.

Make sure you know what platform you’re calling on

I find this mistake to be more common than people would think! With the plethora of platforms out there, be sure you discuss which platform you’re meeting on and to ensure that the other person has access to it — this will ensure everyone is on time instead of trying to set up a zoom room last minute. Here are my tips for it:

• Make sure you set up the invite for the platform you’re using ahead of time so that you can be early for the meeting!
• If your coffee chatter requests to use a platform you’ve never used before, test call with someone first to ensure you don’t need to make any setting changes or close out the application for permissions (a lot of applications require closing zoom or teams for changing permissions for sharing screens for the first time, for example).

Make sure to send out confirmation at least 24 hours in advance

It is my #1 pet peeve when I ask would-be coffee chatters to send me a google calendar invite, and it’s the morning of, and there is still no invite in my calendar. Not only does this put stress on the person you’re meant to be chatting with, but also it reflects poorly on your task management skills. I think it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, you’re asking this person for a favor — to answer your questions, give you advice, and mentor you! Because the market is so competitive for junior UX designers, I think it is super crucial we put our best foot forward. Here are my tips for succeeding at this step:

• Send out your invite right away so that there’s no possibility of forgetting — the earlier the better!
• Make sure the invite includes the link for the platform you will be meeting on. this makes it easier for you and for the person you’re meeting with!

Don’t put the onus on the other person immediately

The greatest daily kindness we can impart is to speak to people with intention, however, it can be really disingenuous if you just ask for a recommendation to your company right away! It’s important in coffee chats that you go in with the mindset of establishing real, professional relationships, and not just use people as transactional, ephemeral stepping stones. This part is tricky, but face-to-face contact makes it easier to show them what you’re made of! Here are my tips for this:

• Only reach out to people you are genuinely interested in. From here questions, discussions, and relationships flow naturally.
• Approach the coffee chat from the perspective as though they are doing you a favor. I believe it is important to appreciate and impart appreciation!
• Make sure to follow up with them after their chat! When things remind you of your chat, or when you reach important milestones, be sure to let them know how they have touched your life! As you progress in your career, there will be more advice they can offer you.