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The meditation teacher in me wishes this article was about manifesting the perfect day, without the work modifier. Yet here we are, most folks having to work to eat and survive. My former mission was crafting a work/life situation that feels healthy, restorative, and joyful. Now I just focus on cultivating joy, period. But my decades long career has been mostly helping design and create healthy inclusive workplaces. I’ve found that working from home by force has allowed me to really get creative and intentional about workday design, and those lessons would have been really useful when I had less control over my work environment. So whether you are working from home, commuting to work, or even looking for work — here are the things I wish I had known sooner.

Manage each day like you are on vacation

Sounds impossible if you have a 9–5 gig. But hear me out. Multitasking busybodies are not assisted by the hectic pace of contemporary life. People who have no trouble relaxing may be on the other end of the spectrum. Busybodies can’t sit still and feel awkward and guilty when they do. Couch potatoes have a hard time mustering the get-up-and-go. Both types struggle to get enjoyment from the average work experience because it keeps them away from their happy place.

When we are on vacation, even if we are tired and sunburned, we make ourselves go to that new restaurant, visit the instagrammable landmark, or make time to watch the sunset. We push through the instinct to stay on the AirBnB couch so we don’t ‘waste’ the trip. We get up and go, even if it’s to chill in a park under a tree because we spend our ‘real’ lives on the move.

This sense of urgency, even if it’s fomo, should be applied to daily life. Watch the sunset in your hometown. Go to the new restaurant in your city. Go chill under a tree, even if it’s just on a lunch break. And at the beginning and end of the day, when you are tired and frustrated, privilege your wellbeing and do that yoga as if you were vacationing on the beach. Take a long walk outside after work even if you don’t have a dog. Allow yourself to breathe, undistracted, and be present to each moment. One to ten minute breathing breaks will work wonders on your health, nervous system, and temperament.

Don’t wait until retirement to enjoy life

I’m in my mid-forties, but I feel twenty-two. Why? Because I’m a pleasure activist and I privilege joy. I’ve been doing that since before I knew it had a name. (Thank you adrienne marie brown and Keith Cylar!) I refuse to wait until I’m 65 or 70 years old before I see the National Parks, visit all seven continents, and master my body and mind. I worry that I will be too tired and burnt out if I wait for the system’s permission to access my own freedom. So in this age of Great Resignations, negotiate your compensation like your life depends on it — because it does. What you can’t get in wages, negotiate in time off and flexible work locations. When you have time off, plan to live your best life — but practice your best-life scenarios on a small scale every week or every month.

Start with a one-a-month goal for living like you are retired. Once you get the hang of it, make it twice a month. Then double it again. Many years and 1,000 baby steps later, I can taste a small slice of retirement in every single one of my days — Monday through Sunday. Vacation as much and as creatively as you can afford immediately. Between climate change, mystery microbes, and old age, you are not guaranteed a seat on the senior citizen express to anywhere. I made a list of the places likely to sink and visited those first. Just sayin’. Also, humxnity, do better.

Seek the orgasmic ‘YES’!

I don’t do what I don’t enjoy anymore. Sorry. Pandemic ate my homework. The assignment was eat crap and die. Absolutely not. If I am in attendance, it’s because that’s the only place I want to be. If I am in your presence, it’s because we are mutually honoring space together and not violating boundaries or sullying good vibes. If I’m involved in a project or on a board of directors it’s because I believe in our conscious co-creation and feel my contribution and yours will have value— and we will all expand together in service. If my response to the request, demand, or expectation is not an orgasmic yes, I’m out.

Obviously there are exceptions, but the more you flex this muscle, the stronger it gets. Eventually you wake up and your life is full of things you are uber excited about. I can tell you from experience that it’s amazeballz. Even when my calendar is bursting at the seams; it’s full of activities, projects, an appointments that get my creative juices flowing.

Here’s the best part, I don’t apologize for it. I just explain it. I let folx know that I am committed to conserving my energy for the things I am throwing my whole heart into. I let them know that no one, including me, wants to be supported by someone who’s only half present. That level of transparency is respected and appreciated. Don’t occupy a board seat if you aren’t going to have energy or desire to contribute meaningfully. Someone else would love that opportunity.

Find your dharma

In Hindusim, dharma means ‘duty’. Living into your dharma means always doing the next right thing. You always have access to it, though most of us resist these impulses at some point. I don’t love making my bed, but I make it every morning because it makes for a better day, cleaner room, and more orderly life. The same goes for countless chores, duties, obligations, and even best-practices like my yoga and meditation. I know that cleaning the kitchen before bed, meditating upon rising, and daily hatha yoga are good for me and the environment I wish to cultivate. There’s dharma in writing this article for you. I could be eating cookies and watching Lizzo’s new show, but I know I’m due to share with you as part of my writing commitment. So I am here without cookies or TV.

Our task is to focus on the duty, or the dharma, without attachment to the consequence (karma). When you follow your dharma, good karma tends to follow naturally. When you don’t do your duty, the imbalance is manifest. Duty to whom? Duty to what? Well, that depends on the agreements you’ve made with yourself and your community. Did you accept that job and commit to being a team player? Then you need to show up and do your best even when it’s annoying. If the imbalance is unbearable, seek a different situation. Are you a parent of minor children? Then you have dharma for days! There’s always something to be done in service of family, friends, self-care, and work. That’s still not an excuse to overdo it.

In between bouts of self-care, vacationing while living, and orgasmic yeses, do your dharma and don’t fret about it. Half of the problem is that we whine about what we find uncomfortable. It’s your job to find balance so it doesn’t weigh you down and spill out all over the people around you. I’m not implying that its easy, it took me twenty years to get it just so. But I never gave up, so don’t you give up either.

The promised (work)land

So what can the perfect work day actually look like? It’s different for everyone. I like to rise with the sun, in my body’s own time. If there are morning obligations, that means privileging rest the night before. I have my vitamins by my bed so I can’t miss them. A tall glass of lemon water awaits me on the nightstand. A book of meditations, affirmations, or scripture is at my bedside so I can start the day with words of inspiration instead of news. This is by no means a template for everyone. I just listen to my body and spirit and honor what feels right, and what produces results in the form of evidence in support of the life I want to live.

The news steals my energy and starts the day on a depressing note, so I source it judiciously and in limited quantities. I don’t watch the news, I read it or listen in a pinch, late morning or midday if at all. I have to have abundant energy before spending spoons on news. Some days I cannot consume news at all because I need to conserve my positive juju.

A morning walk with the dog, coffee, yoga and/or meditation is the big block after my shower. Then I get to the dharma. The work that pays the bills. A few hours, a few days a week. Always mid-day day, usually mid-week. I take most Mondays and Fridays off. I start my bedtime routine at 8:00pm and it takes 1–3 hours to complete. It feels indulgent, and it is. Each and every one of us is worthy of the indulgence of self-care. Once I figured out what a perfect workday was for me, I calibrated the perfect week, then the perfect year. My world is in balance. It took a while to get here but the active, intentional journey was worth it and way better than waiting for retirement.