why do you waste so much time on the internet.

05 May, 2022

sometimes i wonder why do i waste so much of time on internet, not even doing productive work. Just refreshing yt feed and sometimes opening instagram. Its not like I enjoy them 10/10. So why do I do this? I even made a stratergy to stop this, but no matter what I do, it just...doesn't work. I will follow that thing for 2-3 days then back to that unproductive and mindless pithole. I haven't achieved anything in life, but i want to, i want to own things...i want to have friends...i want to have fun....but this....something is just holding me. I could simply just say i'm lazy, but is that a good reason..why would i even need a reason.

I would like to think its not laziness, but then what even is it? And again i will search on the internet about this, find some videos that talk about this, then some people in the comments will say the "i suffer from the same things",,,and then? then i will feel better that there are people that are similar to me....and? guess what? back to the same routine. I am sick of this...its like i know i will not have these comfortable days, these days where i just sit down and scroll will end. But what will be at the other side of it? A person who i would envy and want to be like or someone who no one cares about and is pathetic