I know what you mean about the Lyrath. My wife is from Kilkenny and we stayed there, as a family, whenever we went home. We stayed there after her Mum passed away and it was very relaxing.

I can Certianly relate to this post. I definitely need that alone time and feel a bit out of sorts if I am around too many peole for too long. Always enjoy reading your posts. Hope all is well and and wishes for a great holiday season

I've been working on this too.

It's hard to differentiate what we are "used to" from that which we really need.

Sometimes my lack of desire to say anything gets misconstrued as: arrogance, intimidation, being an asshole, rude, etc. often I only want to listen and take in.

Silence is something we could all use a lesson in.

Hey Derek, it's your Facebook friend, Sean Neri

I can definitely relate..I used to get all of the most expensive new equipment for new hobbies, and it kind of took my focus off whats really important..like actually learning how to yse it.. My dad had bought me a Martin D2R $1000 acoustic guitar. I was more in love with out it looked and just strumming it then really learning to play..

Having nice things in general distracted me from whats Important..just I severely limit my nice things..

I do disagree with you on going to places to learn things like the examples you gave.. sometimes being in a place with a culture and an environment that puts you in the state of mind to meditate and do yoga is better.. In my NYC apartment I have a very difficult time.. I had done a 10 day Vipassana retreat (if you love silence it is great, no talking or non-verbal communication with anyone). This I did in the Joshua Tree desert, not different country but very different environment for me..

they have them all over the world: https://www.dhamma.org

Hope this email finds you in all the many emails you get

Hi Derek. I saw a simple meme/quote recently that stuck with me: “You have everything you need right now.”

This latest post, to me, is an emphasis of that quote. Icing on the cake.

Thanks,
Evan

A sweet story to remind that yes, "It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations." I'm discovering that "old mental associations" can sometimes (painfully) mean "the goals and habits of people I love."

Your use of "untangle" -- with my visual of corded ear buds -- helps me remember that I don't have to throw away the old when I untangle from it. I just have to be aware of what gets my focus and my practice.

Thank you for another terrific missive; reading you is always a complicated pleasure.

This article hit real close to home. I’m always looking for that new toy that will make me better. In fact, I’m so anal with this I actually bought a new DAW because they had a lo-fi plugin. I could have used my Tascam reel to reel and got lo-fi, but noooooooo. I made up my mind that 2018 was going to be my year. Get new music out. Write a book. Read at least 12 books by years end, etc.. Thanks again for pushing my lazy ass in the right direction Derek.

Thank you Derek. Always enjoy your posts!

Excellent article...unfortunately I used to be one of those people that had to be “somewhere else” to experience special moments...like worship...meditation...self reflection...deep breathing...however...I’ve learned to turn internally vice having to find and rely on an external location. Being an introvert I don’t really mind the peace and quiet of solitude...in fact I probably dig it too much...just ask my wife Elizabeth.

Thank you for sharing.
CI

All the best always,
CI

Desiring solitude is ok. It always made me feel guilty or not normal. Thanks for the reminder Derek.

Hi Derek,

Just wondering - why don't you have share buttons? I really like this article and would like to share it on my facebook page. I could always copy and paste on to my page and link to your website, if it's ok with you.

Cheers,

Don't remember where this came from but this quote resonates with me: Solitude is my most trusted friend.

Thanks Derek, for keeping in touch.

So true to my own experience(s)
There is also the chance or surprise silence, almost a different subject, which just happens at the right time. A storm kept me from travelling between one and oanother island in the Philippines many years ago. Turned out the nothing-to-do place where I waited for the ferry was exactly what I needed to do! And.. ‘twas.one of the most memorable of a three month long travelling plethora of experiences!

Best, Roger

TheRepliesBook.com for you Derek... see if the less than ten seconds read each morning is a gift or just leave it....it’s as erratic in tone and timbre as the winds!

Great article! I appreciate all the insight which you offer, please keep me in your loop!

Derek, so true that the “perception of things” or the “perception of the WAY to do things” so often has an apparent blueprint or roadmap according to others or what we are often told. I appreciate the reminder that what I have may indeed be all that I need and that “my space” is what I choose to place into it...full or void of anything. Thanks!

Reading this reminded me of a moment in that movie "The Grand Budapest Hotel"

This is hilarious!

I lived in an abby for two years. During silent retreats we worked one hour less per day and got more done. We were all amazed by it, but couldn't help going back to chatter once the retreat was over. It's like people can't help themselves!

I'm down with being resourceful. Very well said and encouraging in scope.

There's definitely something sacred about being alone and quiet, whether you are around other people or not. I have been very happy in groups where it was OK to be quiet. That would include the monastery during a silent retreat as well as some music workshops and residencies.

Thanks for the article Derek. It was timely for me. I believe I’m a kindred spirit in regards to getting quite time for the soul. This is a hard trait to own, especially since the western culture tends to devalue those with “antisocial” preferences. I was invited to a birthday party today in my honor. I spent the majority of it up in my room. I could tell that they used me as an excuse to have a get together, since my absence from my own party was inconsequential to their fun. Sorry for the rant. I’m just pleased to hear that I’m not alone in wanting to be alone. Sometimes I wonder, however, if I’ll ever find a place where I can freely be myself. Thanks for giving me hope that there are more people that think like me. Thanks again for the podcast interview you did with me a few years ago.

I've come to expect the most interesting of stories from you, Derek. This one doesn't disappoint.

We travel to find inspiration from exotic places, but inspiration is usually within us.

Thanks, Derek. Rings my silent bell for writing.

We all need moments of quite, but I have found over time that quite reflection is not the same as being isolated or even surrounded by silence. This week our neighborhood (a very social crowd) had a holiday party. In the midst of 65 happy folks I found myself observing the room finding peace and joy in their smiles. For each our own, but I find stealing these moments a great source of recharge & let me dive into life among the living with renewed energy.

Feckin' American tourists, they're the worst. Nosy, blathering, self-important. Where's Father Jack Hackett when you need him? Better to smack him upside the head and go off to a pub whereby upon entry you loudly proclaim, "This is Ireland ain't it? Gimme a Guinness and play some Rory Gallagher!" End it with an Oscar Wilde epigram and the ceremony is complete.

Derek,
It is so good to hear from you. My comments will be brief. I am recovering from the flu. Your thoughts are extremely coherent. I am by myself now for about 11 months, by choice. My solitude is complicated because I am on missions that do not need my participation but every so often. I think the hardest thing for me is the waiting. If all a person is doing is waiting, then it is not easy. It is just not easy. No amount of patience is ever enough. I am not a patient person on top of that. Every person has a temperament that they have to deal with, and to have a companion to help bear the burden of a person's own temperament is an angel from eternal peace, if I have ever told the truth. Sometimes things happen so a person has to do some things by themselves. Just ask any guerilla fighter, and they would agree. You, sir, are a guerilla fighter who takes care of people in your care. You don't have to be soldier with battle gear on. That is no small thing. Poetically speaking, We are streaming our way through this universe, it is such a gentle breeze our face. When in reality, we are coursing through this universe at many miles an hour to places we have never been before, and from where we will never return. To hold on to what we care about is about all we can do, to be truly who we are capable of being.
I don't want to be too poetic and get tangled in soliloquy. I figure as long as I can get enough sleep and have enough energy to get through another day, then I guess that's enough for the time being. One of the most trying things that you, face is being able to concentrate on all this universe that is coursing through you and around you Derek. thank you for thinking about me. One last thing: Years ago, there was a book written by Kovoor T. Behanan, Yoga, A Scientific Evaluation, 1937, The whole book is about the entanglements and truth, and myths. I have never read that whole thing. Way too complicated to understand except in small portions. thought I'd mention it Think well of me

Thank you for sharing this. Silence and solitude are absolutely essential for some people. Others can’t seem to stand it for any period of time.

I completely understand the need for silence, especially in between family visits and conferences. I was on my MBA international trip and I was with 20+ people night and day for 7 straight days. I needed a mental vacation afterwards.

Hola Amigo from MX....I wanted to say fine job with the intro to the article...caught my interest (we all love habitat) immediately and what a good intro for your upcoming book......
My fourth CD will be out this Winter...i will forward it..THX for being in touch.

Thank you for this article Derek! I myself suffer from this idea of spending a ton of money and time for preparing when things can be done in a much more efficient and direct way. This is a good reminder for me.

Take care and keep writing - you are an inspiration to me and millions of other people!

Seems like the third thing you cannot go long without is … writing. Boon for us.

Sounds like some signals were crossed on your way to the abbey. Unlikely the monks would have been so disingenuous: maybe they just didn’t run a very tight ship.

I’ve got an abbey story: When I bicycled across the American West during the US Bicentennial, I overnighted at a monastic retreat, a woodsy cluster of A-frames up in the Cascades. The sound of the rushing MacKenzie River created a solitude of white noise. It was broken only by the head of the retreat, an old Italian machinist turned monk who had built a 15” railroad track looping through the woods, and a working locomotive about six feet long on which he sat whispering his vespers in Latin (“English would be too vulgar”, he said) while the engine chugged around. By sheer coincidence (or was it), I had picked up a copy of the Tom Robbins novel Another Roadside Attraction a lfew days up the trail, and this scene could have slipped right off its pages.

To your point above, though, those old vapors can impede one’s new direction if permitted. There’s a threshold to cross, not disowning the past but releasing it. And doing so unemotionally seems to help important new habits form. Sensible enough?

I recently took my family (wife and kids age 3 and 8) to a small village on the west coast of Mexico. This was a good reminder that we have what we need, and this is not much at all. Returning to CA was a but of a shock, our tiny house stuffed with toys, musical instruments, kitchen gear, clothes. It all seems like a poor substitute for the beach. This is a good reminder to work toward our ideals at home, and while traveling can get us into a new headspace, if we make an effort, we can get there at home, and/or bring it home with us and prolong the changing attitude.

Great story! It's important to question and modify and rebuild our mental models, so we don't get stuck doing things that don't help us achieve our goals.

Nice one Derek.

Derek, It is always a pleasure to hear what interesting adventures you are exploring in your life. Love your new RV. Reminds me of all the RVs I saw in NZ traveling around both islands.
As always I look forward to whatever you share with us. Your wisdom is much appreciated. Just curious if you know or have heard of Richard Rudd who authored Gene Keys. It seems as though you are both deeply curious about life and our evolutionary potential. Perhaps kindred spirits eh?
Sending you deep peace on your journey,
Lisa

Dear Derek,
It’s all there in your head baby. Just keep up the good work and follow your dreams without compromise.

Sincerely,

Artie Kaplan

Perfect timing.

Yesterday I asked my first childhood friend to help me launch a campaign to remove Trump from office. He said he couldn't do it.

Because we came from the same place... my dream was to do 'it' together.

Today, I spent all day thinking... I NEED NEW FRIENDS.

more: https://www.facebook.com/RepealReplaceTrump/

Thanks for sharing Derek. I also believe there is power in grateful living, which I think gives us clarity in terms of what we think we need versus what we actually need. Great food for thought for the weeks and months ahead.

Nice one Derek. Reminds me of two things:
A great song-
“In my solitude, you taunt me...”
And a little gag-

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He is allowed to speak 2 words once a year to the head monk. He struggles through the first year of silence, then dutifully lines up to utter his 2 words.
“Food bad” he says. He receives his blessing then goes off for another year of silence. At the end of the 2nd year he lines up again and says “bed hard”. Again he receives his blessing in silence and begins his 3rd year. At the end of the year he lines up again and this time says “I quit”. The head monk throws up his hands and says “It’s about time. All you’ve done since you’ve been here is complain, complain, complain!”
Thanks Derek. Have a lovely, quiet Christmas

I can certainly relate to this, "Silence is Golden" The phrase ‘Silence is Golden’ is a universal guide to helping us in all areas of our life. It means it is better to be silent than to speak.

Thanks for sharing Derek, and Happy Holidays and New Year to you and your family.

Derek,

This is a great piece on life!

The story while funny and interesting really emphasizes that there really is no place life home even if that home comes from tapping and using using your resourcefulness to discover whatever it is you need is right there in front of you and just within your grasp!

Great comment and very thoughtful and thought provoking and stimulating for the reader!

Miss you and hope life is good!

Much love,

John

Derek,

This is a great piece on life!

The story while funny and interesting really emphasizes that there really is no place life home even if that home comes from tapping and using using your resourcefulness to discover whatever it is you need is right there in front of you and just within your grasp!

Great comment and very thoughtful and thought provoking and stimulating for the reader!

Miss you and hope life is good!

Much love,

John

Derek, no attitude here, but this post is a head-scratcher. I get all the preamble. It's important to be comfortable with yourself(i.e. spend time alone)... got it. It's important to not succumb to the "you deserve the latest and greatest"(be practical, resist materialism) Big Marketing message... got it. But what does "separate the real goal from the old mental associations" even mean? This post isn't about being alone or giving up the latest gadget or realizing that you don't have to move to France to learn French. So what is your point? Isn't what we are trying to recreate the very thing that we really want? Are "old dreams" incompatible with who we are trying to be? I don't get it.

Thanks, as always, for your insights and articles, Derek. I began a dedicated meditation practice in May 2012 and was taught to meditate anywhere: public places, subways, etc. even though my practice is generally at home. By not limiting myself to home only, however, my practice grew so much; I never found a reason not to meditate twice a day. Recently when I do miss sessions when pressing career concerns or tasks take too much time, I notice how much this affects my state of being. I'm much less reactive when I meditate twice daily. I'm happier. So thank you for the reminder and for continuing to reach out over many years of knowing you.

I wish someone told me this before I figured I had to move to New York to be a rapper. Damn you internet!!!
☺ — Derek

Your story makes me realize how much I'd love a break from life and all it's "noise"...I'm glad you got away to just be!!

Hmmm,
After taking leave of his disciples, Jesus went up to the hillside to pray. He was alone on the land. -- Mark 6:45-48. For 40 days Jesus was alone in the wilderness. -- Luke 4:1-2. I'd say that in seeking solitude you're following in His footsteps.

Derek, if you live far enough away from others, you can walk out your backdoor, sit on a porch and listen to nothing except for the wind, the rustle of grass and birds chirping. So you might only be 10 feet away from serenity. How great is that?... Dennis

Yes! It’s this way of focusing both intensely and in a diffuse way so that you can see where the path is opening up even if you didn’t think that’s where it would be. All of the possibilities open out in front of you in all directions and you want to resonate with the best, most interesting, most life-affirming direction - which is already there.

Derek,

I always enjoy your insightful writing and experiences. Thanks for sharing them. Solitude is intentional and restorative, and can really recharge the mind and soul (unlike isolation which is not the same.) Even as an extrovert, I find that daily quiet time for reading, journaling, prayer, keeps me centered and way more productive. We all need "free-time." It's good to hear from you.

Silence is path to godliness...

Bravo! Spot on. Expect the Unexpected and then be amazed and grateful always.
Thanks, Derek. I needed this. Blessings and best, Joyce

Its a balance.

Solitude to heal the mind and company to heal the soul.

I am reminded of a quote from the 12 step program.
"A man is apt to be corrupted by the company he keeps and a man alone is in the worst possible company". ☺

Thank you for sharing this article. It is indeed difficult to separate old wants from new ones. But my problem is that I cannot even see clearly what my old wants had been or what my current wants are. I would love to hear if you, Derek, or anyone reading this comment have had similar concerns but now are able to tell what they want more clearly.

Wonderful stuff Derek,

I too am a devotee of solitude, such fertile, nourishing soil. As Yogananda says “In solitude lies greatness.” Or something to that effect.

Great points Derek. I have seen this especially true around new year's resolutions. I think it's good to reflect on goals and new interests, but that is the easy part. The hard part is showing up each morning/day!

Derek —

It has long been said one can meditate in a room above the busiest, noisiest street in Delhi.
Though I keep this in mind, I need solitude each day, and thanks to scarcity, I have learned to hold ten minutes here, thirty-five minutes there in total concentration. I yearn for more, and here another year has passed without change. I live in New York, and have learned total focus on a notebook of thought in the middle of a crowded subway.

Your hotel sounds like pure bliss. Though I suspect you were quite concentrated to write page after page.
I wonder why the silent abbey was so noisy?

Congrats on the camper van purchase. You and your son will have epic adventures. My gf and I are planning on living out of a camper van as we start our business. I always enjoy your posts.

It's always interesting how deep satisfaction in solitude totally baffles most people. Putting thoughts down about that and other stuff these days. A work in progress until my demise: https://www.fluxfaze.net/solitude

Hi Derek,
The surrounding environment do have influence on one's feeling and thinking, but true motivation can lead the right way...Enjoy reading your article.

Best always,
Gong Qian

Thank god for our imaginations, they can take us anywhere. Any meditation can be blissful.

Very timely post in the lead up to what should be a peaceful and relaxing time of year, but sometimes isn't, and which is often over-materialistic. I find that simplifying my life is a very rewarding experience.

Great to hear from you again, my friend....see you are still exploring new corners of that inquisitive brain of yours. Have thought of you often in recent months...wonder what you're up to these days.
I find the older I get..78, 1/14/18...that I have only to learn to go deeper within myself to explore and find and decide what's truth and whats fiction; whats real and what's imagined. No matter where i am in or what space i occupy. These things can be found wherever we are. To say, "I have to get away to a quiet or quaint space/place to do this or that..." becomes an excuse not to do it . I found truth to that when I sat down to finall transcribe my husband's WWII memoirs as a refugee/displaced person and write his story in "THE LAST TRAIN OUT".. even learned from scratch how to self publish on Amazon...I waited for a number of years for just the right time and a special "place" to write. When i decided it's now or never..I announced to my family and friends not to contact me unless they were bleading.....I went to work in my music studio at home on a 24 hour sleep/work cycle and in six month, the work was published and we began setting up book reviews and book signings.
Use the resources we have in our grasp to achieve our goals. (My husband, Rudy is in moderate to advanced stages of Akzheiners now. I'm so thankful to have been abke to give him this gift)
Take care. I'll be watching for your next chapter. So long from Dallas.

P.S....sorry you're living such a boring life!

Ks

You know what you need and you know how to achieve it. We carry our temple around with us, much as a turtle carries around his shell. How lucky when we can retreat into the sanctity of our mind; it's essential.

Derek,

The timing of your e-mail was perfect. My son came home from the East Coast for the weekend so our entire family (minus one of my nieces) gathered for a dinner at my home.

Family, nourishment, a shared love of self expression - no matter where we are when we feel it, whether alone or as a group - is really all I need. It sure simplifies life. You hit the nail right on the head.

Thank you,

Michael A.

Thank you. I liked that !

It reminds me: one of the beautiful things of being happily married for such a long time is the peaceful silences with your partner.

(She/He) "who hears music feels his solitude peopled at once.
~Robert Browning, born 1812 Robert Browning.

Silence is the Canvas upon which our thoughts (and music) is written on.

John Cage's 4'33"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4%E2%80%B233%E2%80%B3

Listen to it here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTEFKFiXSx4

Tom
www.filmsynergymagic.com

Derek, I enjoyed your little tale, as usual. I understand exactly where you're coming from on this subject. I personally find pleasurable solitude when I'm alone, deep in an untouched, pristine forest. Keep up your fine work.

Warmest regards, Trade.

Hi there Derek.

So good to hear from you after 5 months. My word, how time flies. I know exactly your feeling of needing some solitude after a busy and rowdy conference.
late last month I spent 8 days in the Palmerston North Public Hospital as I had contracted CELULITIS in my right leg. I was in a room with 3 other older gents and what with all the chatter from visitors, the constant attention from the Nurses every hour and my own family visits, I found it difficult to sleep and was almost at my witts end to get some peace & quiet. I was most grateful for the Doctor and nursing care that I received and now on the road to recovery at home...Oh how I love my home Derek, with the peace and quiet that I missed while in Hospital. As I have just turned 80, I guess the age thing comes into play and we are not as tolerant to all the noise and bustle of our modern world..However my friend, I wish you and your family a bright and "Merry Christmas" and a "Happy new Year".

All best wishes,
Bill.

I am reminded of The Teachings Of Don Juan: The Yaqui Way Of Knowledge where Carlos has to find his spot. It's in the first chapter. Haven't thought of that in years.

Peace, Derek. :)

Wow this is so timely! I’ve been wanting to try voiceover work but have gotten bogged down in the technology (what mic to use, how to dampen the room, recording software etc) but today I realized - during a long walk in the woods by myself - that I just need to start doing it! I can improve the technology as I go!

Thank you for this 🙏

I like what I read -- it reminds me of "ME" . Lotte.

This was a wonderful story, and right on time. It really hit me personally at this time in my life. Thanks for sharing Derek.

Shhhhhhhhh.

I love that there are plentiful things we can do in our room and in our city without having to spend a lot for the things we dream of. Online universities and online classes, for example.

Sometimes, though, we need inspiration or a different place for a short period of time to jog us from the stagnation or humdrum of daily rituals and our familiars. We need that, from artists to the workaholics. Just so we can get a fresh perspective, clear our head, shake the dust away.

True and very inspiring. I am a musician, a guitarist mainly and I have managed through the years since my start in 2000 to promote that good music needs good musicians, not expensive guitars and gears. Gear is good, of course as an extra, but not required for good music. A good guitar does not have to be expensive. Most expensive goods around us carry the value in the name not in the actual material they are made of. The real value comes by patience, passion and dedication attached to any activity, not the gadgets,surroundings or accessories related.

HI THIS IS THE LOUD AMERICAN HERE AND I MUST SAY I WAS QUITE DISAPPOINTED AT YOU LEAVING SO SUDDENLY WHEN I WAS NICELY INTRODUCING YOU TO BLA BLA BLABLA BLAAAAA BLABLABLAAAAAAAAAA

Just curious, Derek, how would you rate in importance the condition that whenever you reach out, there are hundreds, if not thousands of people ready to respond, eager to engage?

Hi, it's good to hear from you. I know what you mean, I have a song on my new 95th CD That's titled " Sometimes I Want To Be Alone " . Many times in the past I'd sail off single handed in my sailboat Just to hear and see all that I could of Nature.

I go through phases of needing this...discovered the benefits by accident a few years back. My car radio was stolen, so I sat on the 405 for hours before making it home in complete silence. When I got the radio replaced...I found it rather useless for some time. But now I mainly use it for audio books, and listening to classical music or sometime a really bad AM station where I fill in the white noise with my own stories. lol.

Great points, Derek. Glad you were ultimately able to get the silence you needed. I'm always curious in situations like that to understand other perspectives - I wonder what drove the loud guy to act the way he did. Was that his typical behavior or was he, like you, trying to find something he had been longing for?

You hit the nail on the head when you talked about us making excuses. The thing I've become aware of over the past few years is that we see the world through the eyes of a child when we travel. The same type of trees or buildings we see at home can seem so curious and interesting when they're seen in a place we are visiting. Oftentimes what we are looking for is right in front of us! As cliche as it sounds, it's so true. I've noticed this not only for "where" but also "when." A prime example is people waiting until the new year to begin the perfect refresh.

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the next post and your book!

By the way, check out Vipassana silent retreat (10 days) in many locations around the world.it is free, and for ten days, you are not allowed to speak, write, read. Nobody speaks to you either. Except for the meditation instructors who would speak sparsely to guide the practitioners in their meditation as needed. I joined the retreat a few years ago on a whim and did not read the fine print about the "silent" part. But the experience was astounding. Try it.

I feel you. The silence at a 10 Day Vipassana meditation is golden but you have to work hard for t. And you can't write. Which helps to find the wonder and illusiveness within silence in the long run when we realize how much loudness is cluttering our own minds that takes time to simmer down.

Exactamundo! I'm a coach who knows this and is still stymied re building my own practice - thinking I need to buy SEO, hire experts to design the perfect wording that attracts....on an on ad nauseam. It's Elliot's "Between the idea/And the reality/Between the motion/And the act/Falls the shadow. i.e. all the things we invent and think we need to keep us from our fear of making the outcome a reality for ourselves. (myself).

Thanks for yet another reminder to get off my butt! out of my head....

Enjoy real silence wherever and whenever you can find it. I've had severe Tinnitus in my right ear for over five years now, around the clock, without a break.

It has not been easy, and so far, there is no cure. Ordinary noises bother me, but I still appreciate good music.

Old dreams adapt into new ones.

Best of luck, Derek.

Being Irish, I stayed in the West on my visit there. It was the right choice. Ancient Ireland comes to life there. Kylemore Abbey is also a very wonderful secluded place. I'm not sure they have guests staying there, but they do have a visitors center, and the nuns provide a wonderful cafe of sorts.

The green, and the stone and the water all come to life there. I loved the cliffs of Moher probably the most. If you're Irish you understand.

Good luck on the book and the app. Be glad you're in New Zealand and not dealing with Donald Trump.

I want to act now but have plans to return to school. I think, or may be telling myself, that a university setting can be a good place to meet people of like mindedness and age. I have considered that I am procrastinating but where does patience play in? I am studying organic agriculture on the G.I. bill. I think there is much to learn about farming so why hurry? What's the point? To reach our goals faster?

What @Sean Neri, @Stephanie & @David said below (above?) about Vipassana.

Done twice 👌, & ❤️❤️ ... wd do again

Caveat: Very structured - you may not focus on anything other than what the Master directs you to focus on each day/ session.

Computers, notebooks, devices etc. off-limits

Yes, Derek, you are absolutely right.

That was great Derek. Today we spent an hour of afternoon time at ano Nuevo beach, and the weather was perfect, there was hardly a soul there, and the only sounds were of crashing waves, and the occasional gull. We both closed our eyes with the sun on our faces and were in the present. No words, and nothing but the Beauty of being. A recharging of the batteries for sure.
Now it’s time to translate that in to music.
Keep us posted of your travels.
Todd

"How To Live"--definitely an important topic today--obvious from what
we see going on in this culture, or what we are told is happening in
the lamestream media.

1) Prioritize and plan accordingly.
2) Don't take anything for granted.
3) Don't give your power away to anyone--you may temporarily lend it
for short times only.
4) Trust in and develop your own creativity.
5) Feed your passion and joy--and be thankful.

I'll bet you have many more ideas Derek!

I’m impressed at how personal these notes seem. Your note made me miss the RV I finally sold after it caught fire in front of my home. Untangling seems to mean continually questioning ... I’m all for that. Good luck with your new chapters.

I can relate.

At one time I prayed that I become deaf, to stop all the noise.

Then I found an old pine tree to sit under, half way up a remote mountain

and an isolated place to be following a blizzard.

It is the knowledge that quiet exists somewhere which gives me the experience of silence amidst the noise.

Hi Derek. Thanks for the update and congratulations on your works in progress. Very exciting news.

Ahhh, yes...solitude. I'm just imagining my little cabin tucked away in a quiet alpine forest, just waiting for me to walk in, light the fire, sink into a comfy chair and put my feet up. Finally, I'm home...nothing but peace and quiet. That's what my dreams are made of. :)

Hi Derek! So really great to hear from You! It is so great to hear about all that you are working on and I so understand the need for creative alone time! It's really essential and I love those times! I have been working on a magazine which allows me to use my illustrating gifts and all else that is involved in this. Which in turn allows me to continue to create music! I have been writing several new tunes and am collaborating and am finding many avenues that in turn lead me on into my musical journey!
It really is great to hear how you are Derek! I was actually just wondering about you!
Anywho!
May you have a really awesome New Year Derek!
Rachel!

I don't know if it was Tanith Lee who first said that the problem with getting the thing you want is obtaining the thing you once wanted. I traveled much with my parents in my childhood, but as an adult very little. I haven't left Oahu for 12 years. I know I want to see a baseball game in Fenway Park. I want to eat a real fish & chips (can't get that in Hawaii, believe it or not). But my favorite place to be, really, is always just home.

I've never struggled with silence. Indeed, most of my best and more creative moments are rooted in solitude. It's odd how many people cannot "handle" such.

This response is in reference to the last two paragraphs in this informative column.

In researching microdosing organic hallucinogens for procrastination, depression, and other debilitating conditions I came upon a term coined "default mode network", or DMN. This is our default mode when at rest, containing our "self perception" as it were.

If our self perception in our DMN contains the repeating loop that we require $300 jogging shoes to effectively jog (information that's been placed in our DMN through any number of ways), we're stuck with that loop. It can only be erased and replaced with something more positive through a conscious and willful exertion of self, through meditation, affirmation, etc., and research now shows, through the controlled use of microdosed psylocybin, LSD, or ayahuasca.

Information is knowledge, knowledge helps us create tools for transformation, and once armed with the information of a DMN residing in my noggin I went to work dusting out all the old loops that no longer served me.

While recent research shows that this can be helped with the use of organic and synthesized hallucinogenics, it can also be accomplished by some old fashioned deep and introspective Soul Searching.

Create the best version of yourself that you can possibly imagine!

Wonderful insights. Once we find clarity on things we are trying to do, unstuck from the usual way of mob mentality, I believe we can find a purpose and possibly our calling. Solitude and silence are tools of inner peace and satisfaction.

Nicely written

Glad to see you again. And your posting just reminded me of the things of which you speak.Thanks for the reinforcement. Love the pic of the boy on the skateboard. Pretty much sums it up.
I've quoted you many many times,"to be happy, do something you like to do that benefits others".
It's so simple.

Heaven, same here: need silence so much. After more than 7 months of noise and trouble, I have it finally - or - I think I have. At least the place I stay right now is silent and I can sleep without waxing my ears.

I travel a lot in my work and am with people almost all the time when engaged in my work. Yet I need solitude to think, to recharge and honestly, I enjoy my company enough to never be bored. I did spend 10 years as a monastic, yet many years later find that I am at peace by simply sitting in my library/office at home, taking a walk in the mountains here in BC or paddling my canoe on Kootenay Lake. Even driving alone is a gift.

And I appreciate your insight that we avoid or don't achieve some things simply by creating artificial requirements (education, location etc.). I feel compassion for we humans.

Derek
Good to hear from you and get an update on what you are up to and where you are.

Following your lead I moved to Vietnam and started looking for an alternate life with my new family for a year abroad. The news at home in the USA is not a place I want to be right now.

The business acumen and culture are a bit of a shock,. But happy I did it. Now anxiety sets in as I have to return to the is for a couple of weeks and then fly back here to build a business I found and will need to find trusted partners which are rare here.

Hope all is well

Best

Roland

I have found forced silence to be debilitating. Every retreat or getaway for that purpose I never get much out of them. There is nothing like seeking your own silence by yourself.

You are correct! I just wonder off into the Redwoods around my house and visit all the different birds and squirrels. Since I give them eight pounds of raw peanuts in the shell a day they all are friendly with me and each other. >*sparkles*<

Makes me think of that Emerson essay, about how everything you need is in your own backyard...

Hi Derek,
It was good to hear from you. I enjoy reading about your thoughts and ideas. Thanks for reaching out to us cd babies. I’ve found that being around children teaches me the most. I’m lucky cause I get to do it everyday since I make and teach music to kids. I’m also fortunate that I’m married to my best friend who is a science presenter to kids aka Mr Science. We get to travel the world together combining music and science and watching kids brains grow. Then we come home to our little town Satellite Beach Florida and teach here. I love walking on the beach in the morning. I’m so blessed. Simplicity is the key and loving people. Simplicity is the name of my new record. Thanks for being interested in the little people. Best wishes in all your endeavors. xo Melany

Derek,
OMG
You can't imagine the synchronicity of this arriving in my in box.
Every year I do a silence retreat prior to connecting with family for the New Year.
I had planned to go to a retreat center in Ojai, Calif. The fires sweeping Calif. and the region forced cancelling. After exploring a bunch of options I just checked into a hotel in Niagara on the Lake Canada. Perfect!
My best wishes,
B

The wealth of silence and stillness and observation, thank you..

Derek,
I hope you continue to find peace and solitude in the things you do with your life. It is a fascinating journey that you have taken on and silently sharing it with us is a wonderful gift.
Randy

So true! unless there is a need to get away, sometimes it is necessary. We often do use the excuses to procrastinate, but through the procrastination, eventually will bring deeper focus and higher clarity when it is really the simple things that help us get what is needed in order to be completed. True about online school, I'm in it now and have learned much more online because of the fewer distractions, easier to stay focused, with fewer people and time traveling.

Silence is golden. I go into our guest room. It has carpet and lots of laundry gets staged in there, so it has a certain sound absorbency and is great for ME time. Thanks for sharing.

I agree. My favourite place to mediate is on the train going into work. There’s something about the movement of the train and being alone in a crowd of people that helps me focus. A great article. And I loved your podcast with Tim Ferris. Keep on keeping on! Duncan.

Derek, thanks for writing! Especially this: "It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations. We have old dreams. We have images we want to re-create. They’re hard to untangle from the result we really want."

YES! It is a conscious uncoupling of sorts-I think Jim Carey said something like "I wish everyone could be rich and famous for a week...only so they'd realize how shallow and empty it actually is."

Here's to untangling our "goals" from the actual FEELING we really desire. Does anyone truly get any joy from stacks of paper money itself? What is it we REALLY are seeking: Freedom? Respect? Admiration? Approval? Peace of mind? Here's to getting clear on what we want to FEEL, and finding new, surprising & not so obvious ways to FEEL those things!

Young children are great at following their curiosity & being lead by their feelings...undeterred by how things look, they just LIVE! Enjoy your adventures with your son. Conscious parenting is like a living, breathing non-stop mindfulness meditation.

You rock. All my best,
Electra

Thank you. I'm 51 and doing too much. But I have narrowed down my priorities. Now I'm in the process of letting go of the rest - one by one. Somehow, I need to convince others in my life that this needs to be done. Others misunderstand me thinking that I am trying to be lazy. Of course I am communicating that I want to focus on my priorities. But the question I always get is, why not do all those things. I've got to find a good get away place close enough but far enough. Thanks again.

I loved this post, Derek. The starkness, the silence between sentences, it’s cadenced contemplative tone. I pursue the now of self-awareness too - observing obsessively, playfully, interestedly. Thank you for ‘being’ you.

Thanks for article.

All the best for the new year and merry christmas

JAN

This post really resonated with me. Great message, thank you for reminding us how to live :) Best from Belgrade, Serbia, you are really unaware of how many fans you have around here. Not a week goes by that someone doesn't mention you or your book.

This is probably the best thing I’ve read all year. It has totally changed my thinking.

Thanks for sharing, D. My girlfriend & I went to a Quaker retreat, 3 days of silence with about 20 other people. I found it to be like literally being dead and conscious at the same time, very unnerving and uncomfortable, especially when they broke silence on the last day and everyone was suddenly in superficial small talk mode. There were some positive discoveries but in general I think silence has to coupled with solitude, or a retreat with 'quiet' people might work. That would be some special people.

So very true Derek,

I find myself met with shocked faces and surprise when I describe my life and the various decisions I've made.

For example...

I love going to Nashville and am trying to move there but a lot of people find it the strangest idea ever!

I'm an African Passion Pop musician who doesn't sing Country music.
I'm drawn to Nashville however, for the rich sense of community, high quality musicianship and the musical variety in styles too, to say the least. It is also a very competitive scene like other cities which I like.

People often suggest New York, LA or London and I find a smaller more personable city works best for me and produces results faster.

Thanks for sharing your awesome stories Derek and season's greetings to you.

RK

As time passes, I've start to consider those "beliefs" as a kind of support.
Of course I don't need to go to Thailand to feel free, I don't need incense to meditate, nor do I need to go in the wilderness to reconnect with myself.
But if some of my beliefs help me initiate or even only ease things, why would I ditch them ?
*As long as I acknowledge that I don't NEED them to reach my goal.*

To me it's just a kind of ritual, something to provide a framework, a little help, at the beginning, until you realize that the ritual is just that, a ritual, and that it doesn't really matter to achieve your goal.

Was just discussing this similar topic with family members tonight at a holiday dinner . They were talking about these elaborate and long distance trips and vacations and I was trying to make the point that something novel and new might create the same sensation of escape just around the corner. how the great, unfamiliar and inspirational is a matter of perception , not physical distance.

Glad to see soneone else appreciates silence and solitude.

Always enjoy these updates, keep them coming

One need not ask if the cup is half full or half empty.
One should be so incredibly grateful to have a cup.

Good luck with the book amigo - Can't wait to indulge!!!

Jeff Robinson
Barcelona

SImplicity , quiet, restorative , they are my needs . It really is just that simple.

Thanks Derek! This brought a smile to my face. I couldn't agree more. ^_^

Thank you

Love it! I wonder whether the monastery was trying to teach you and others the lesson you learned, that silence was within, not in the monastery!

Thanks for the post dude. Good to hear all is well :)

Thank you Derek, it has never been so true: "Some people think they need to pay a fortune to a university for a great education. But the top schools have all their courses online for free"

Thank you for sharing this very interesting article. I have often the need of solitude and silence. I talk everyday with a really Close friend of mine. I really dont like shallow conversations. Unortodox ways to learn languages yea. I use Babbel to learn spanish I go rather often with my friend mentioned above to Canary Island so thats my motivation for Learning. Im pensionist and maybe I move to canary Island for a more permanent stay there.

Hi Derek... your words are like food for the soul ... I’m a carpenter in Cornwall , Uk. and there are many “hairy arsed” builders reading your philosophy’s... cheers

Derek

That's an interesting article , we all need quiet time to recharge and rest our mind and body . But , I believe prolong periods of time of silence can be just as detrimental to our well being as long periods of noise .

I guess it all boils down to doing the right thing at the right time . But do we always do it .

Oh nice to hear you went to Ireland to explore the universe within.

I hear Glenstal Abbey might be more of an original experience if you were looking for authenticity, although in a religious sphere.

your funniest post :)
rogue Blarney Trappists.
in your next film script project.
great van!

I too love silence. A great experience that I can't recommend highly enough is to go on a Vipassana Meditation course. The introductory course requires 10 days of total silence - you're not even allowed to look at other people. No books, no pens, certainly no electronics - they all get locked away when you arrive. Truly amazing: ZERO input lets your mind do unusual things.

That is why you do it for 10 days, because your brain actually goes through physiological changes that allow better meditation once you leave.

Accommodation and food are given to you for free, from donations by previous participants. You decide how much to contribute at the end, dependent on how much you get from the experience.

There are Vipassana centres around the world. The one I went to was in the UK, but here's the worldwide directory: https://www.dhamma.org/en/locations/directory.

Aloha Derek,

Well, since we last talked, I got formally diagnosed as Autistic , one month before my 64th birthday. Now, at age 66, I let other folks like me know that their future is my past. And then, like you, I dropped out of the "noise.". Having never owned a TV as an Adult, I am still amazed at how much media seep creeps into my life.

That being said, next time you choose a monastery, hit up the Trappist's . LOL You might find the history of the Cistercians and it would explain what you encountered. Never a good sign when Prayer and Mediation become a commodity to be sold. It pissed Luther off to no end. LOL

Your life's journey, like everyones, is so beautiful to see unfold, from those wet and dreary days in Portland. Everyone's life is spectacular (I think) most of us don't know it, because we don't understand how cool it is just to be alive, healthy, and grateful. I wrote a very short story about what Life would look like if we could see it in its entirety...so here it is:

As always, I enjoy reading about your travels, trials, tribulations, and forages into the future. Smiles, Kevin

I just forgot to add, whoever has doubts that what we search for is outside, take a look at life and work of William Blake. Instead of losing time on external he focused on building his own world that meant incredible discovery to the world of arts afterwards and he hardly went out of London.

Very interesting as ever Derek. I particularly like the ...

Some people think they need to pay a fortune to a university for a great education. But the top schools have all their courses online for free.

Having my youngest son now in his 5th year of Uni in the UK - I don't think about the cost!

I did 13 days fasting to see if it lowered PSA level (an indicator of prostate cancer) it didn't work - a plant-based diet for 6 weeks did work and that's what I eat now. It also better for the planet and doesn't kill any animals so a win - win -win.

Hi Derek. One of the base meditation techniques in Tantra Yoga is "Antar Mouna" (Inner Silence). In India there are only few silent "perfect" places, so you have to learn to relate to disturbence. THE PHOTO SAYS IT ALL, SO THIS IS NOT NEWS FOR YOU.

Boo-ya. Absolutely correct. Looks like dude on the skateboard is in NY, I figure Brooklyn. Dope pic. And your analysis and distillation of that pertinent truth is wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks Derek
I certainly agree with hotels being a great option for a personal retreat, allowing time for thinking, writing, solitude, meditation etc.
I have a favourite spot in the Pacific that I visit a few times a year, only a couple of hours from NZ. The staff are great and just leave me be when its clear that is what I need.
Keep it up.

Reading this brought to mind we are desirous beings and unless we challenge ourselves in the direction we want to go we will always desire something more, and think the answer lies elsewhere.

Hi Derek...
Thanks for the article...
I've been living "the excuse and procrastination process..."
My day by day time is fuckek up... even that I woke up 4:30am to try to do something but at the end of the day I still filling empty, frustrated and demotivated...
I'm trying to start a blog to put some frustration out of my head but... yes... excuses excuses and more excuses...

If you need that silence and solitute in the material world - then don't engage.

As ever, Derek, your observations are spot-on. Thank you for sharing them.

Derek, glad you found the space you need and that you appreciated your time spent here in the UK.

I find it's counter productive being constantly busy, more useful saying no to interference and putting regular space aside to focus on things of consequence.

Being bold counts too. No need to limit your imagination or potential

Reading this I realized I’ve been craving the same thing and it took you putting the words down to make that clear! I’ve decided to take a drive into the mountains for a few days of silence next week. Great post, thanks Derek!

I think we live like kings. We’ve all been brought up
to expect running water, heat and food at our fingertips.
One has certain needs as a human being. Shelter and food
comes before anything. Everybody’s too fat. Needs & wants can probably be broken down. Maybe one could come to the conclusion
they don’t need anything or more to the point don’t want anything.
I don’t mean fuck everyone I don’t want anything. I’ve been homeless a couple times in my life. Not something I’d recommend but it certainly untangled my values. Well being comes 1st. The better you feel the more you can help. Well being is key and takes work and discipline to attain. My thoughts? Well being and the block chain may be a very powerful combination in the 21st century. My favourite Derek Sivers quote is “nobody knows the future”
Kx

There is one annoying Beatles song where they sing about going everywhere and doing everything from your own room. I think he was on drugs.

I happen to come from the opposite end of the spectrum. I spent year doing things half-assed. There is something about playing guitar on a nice Rickenbacker with a nice amp and pedals that I never got from a used guitar. There is something about going to a class taught by a live person, with students around. The immediacy comes to mind, the atmosphere. My father once told me that he didn't need to go anywhere, he could just watch Michael Palin's show on TV. Sorry Dad, but that's not the same.

Coming from a place of never buying new, a family who never travels, the only one to leave the city and go to college...I really appreciate the time I traveled and recently, at 48, I started actually buying the stuff I need to sound good. You can do all of those things from your room, like you said, but I think your message is not for me at this point.

David in Kawasaki
ps. Love the posts you make. Just had to say something about this one.

Thanks for posting Derek. Some real insights raised in this issue. I read through it once, but I will come back and read it again. I also like a bit of quiet reflection time. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes

Hey Derek,
For me there is too many distractions at home.
I think it's a issue discipline and focus

Thanks for sharing

Has anybody ever hears Benny Lewis say anything, in any language, about anything other than his theories of how to learn a language?

Many years ago I used to be able to say "I'm from the gas company, here to read your meter" in 26 languages. This was great fun. I still remember the young girl who ran back to the kitchen to her grandma screaming "Grandma, Grandma, He speaks Urdu." (I knew a few words more than my self-intro.) She took it with utter calm. "Of course he does, dear. He's from the gas company."

Well, 我叫Benny。 我说Chi Knee。or even 我是本尼·刘易斯，我说普通话。is impressive. But is there more?

Derek may you be thoroughly blessed with inner peace despite Loud Americans in Strange Locations, now you know what the rest of the world feels like when on holiday ;-) blessings

I agree with you about needing to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, at times. I write songs, and I think I was at my best when I would go to a peaceful place to think and do my writing. Digressing a little, I believe it's good to have ambition, but I also believe in being Happy with what we've got.
Thanks for your posts Derek, they always give food for thought.

Great!

Were you ever at ease with solitude or is this something that developed through the years? I enjoy solitude for similar reasons but it gets me depressed if I stay solo more than a couple days.

As time goes along, it has turned out that I am alone for a slowly increasing fraction of time's passing moments, sustained by feelings and thoughts about How Things Were and Are Just Now, maintaining active connections with a slowly decreasing number of friends near and far. Now that I'm in my early 80s, nearly all my social connections are with much younger people, but they too are associates of two or three decades' standing. There's considerable truth in the old bromide: "Growing old is the most surprising thing that happens to us."

Derek, thank you. I relate - crave, need and embrace silence and soliude. As a social persons people did not understand my need for isolation. Now in my early 50s the only people I’m close to our true friends, not acquaintances with expectations. Of my favorite authors was a man named Leo Buscaglia. He wrote living, loving, learning. He wrote a story about going to Japan and visiting one of his spiritual heroes. Walking in his Zen garden, Leo said he was so excited to meet the man, that he rambled on about how successful he was on his own journey, and about the class he taught at USC about love. In a moment, this man of peace, a man dedicated to nonviolence, turned in slapped Leo in the face and said, “don’t walk in my head with your dirty feet.” I have been those dirty feet, but as I grew older I have come to understand how we affect other people with our noise. I did not intend to write this much, to add more to the noise coming your direction, but hope the story is less noise than a quiet prayer spoken just loud enough for others to pray along. Life gets so much better when we do not think of it as a to do list. Gratefully, Dan

Derek,

One of life's greatest challenges, I've learned, is how to be at peace even in the midst of a storm. A monastery sounds like a good idea until the actual rigours become clear. Your expectations, it seems, are what really needed to be managed. I also speak French and I still believe that emersion in a culture is the best way to learn: you pick up nuances that are not available on a YouTube tutorial for example. I recall the Sufi notion that in learning how to learn, the function of a teacher is indispensable. My faith teaches me not to hanker after results: I've learned how to be surprised. In the quest, just bear the principles in mind. Thanks for sharing.

Much love.

Thanks for the article, Derek. Simple but provoking thought! Now that the world is just getting closer, the possibilities are endless and I don't think there's room for excuses anymore :) I needed this reminder.

Derek,

Check your blood sugar first...LOL I have noticed that when it’s high I feel weird and want to escape
from almost everyone. My peace comes from knowing I have been chosen from the beginning of time by God and that he loves me and has given me life. Derek you have been chosen also....how cool is that. Your life was written before the stars were born. You are special in Gods eyes. What a Peace we can have with a Heavenly Father looking over our shoulders. We also have everlastingly life by Jesus death on the cross. God came down and while we were born in sin...the good Lord gave himself for us. I rejoice everyday knowing all is not lost. Derek you are apart of this too. Peace..Love and happiness all the days of your life. God has surely blessed you and will continue to bless you. Go in peace my friend. Happy Holidays......marty

Yeah i know what you mean.Apart from my small family i am reluctant to talk with others.So many shallow words without meaning or feeling.Take care.Rod.

Very true. Awesome post as always. Thank you!

Very well put. As always. Thank you.
I’d love to hear more about your fasting experience. I’ve tried for 2-3 days but felt a bit strange. Was everything ok but suddenly I was hungry. I guess it makes sense but I’m wondering if it’s because I wasn’t doing it properly or wasn’t sure what to do it not to do... references? Tips? Thanks a lot.

I suffer this everyday. Everyday i am surrounded by people looking for my time and seeking advice. This is a blessing but can also be very. Challenging for someone who enjoys solitude. I start everyday with a one hour bath. This allows me time alone to read, meditation or simply to stay quite. I use this time to set my intention the day to ensure that i am patient with others and always follow as help first process.

Love the photo!

Good reminder to carpe diem.

How many letters do I need to submit a comment?

Good point Derek. I had a friend who wanted to be very rich so that he could use that wealth to do good things for people in the world. My response: there is nothing stopping you from doing good things today. Example: Mother Theresa had nothing and is world famous for the impact she had on others. Thanks again for sharing your insights!

I find that being extrovert (not to mention wired differently) makes it hard to find silent space. Besides triggering interactions automatically when around people, there's a learned expectation from those who know me (in certain contexts) to be constantly surrounded and interacting.

But I love riding for hours on a motorbike relishing the inside of my helmet. Or just sitting in the forest near home.

Untangling one's own outcomes from practiced behaviour as well as others expectations is tough. But well worth it.

Looking outside for peace is fun, but being peaceful comes from acceptance. Looking at what is and then making the most of it. Glad the hotel was nice.

Those bolded words in the last paragraph are probably the ones that I resonate with the most. I like the post as a whole, but those lines hit home on something I've been personally working on for a while now, something we all can be more cognizant of.

Happy to hear you enjoyed it here in Ireland.

Thanks for sharing this story :D . I recently made some changes to my life. totally agree with you ! sometimes we just feel difficult to let go the "have to" , probably because we assume that some existing habits or experience are perfect. e.g. I used to think I have to go to a cowork place to work in order to be productive. actually what i really need is music. and tea. bang. now I work at home from 5-8 , saved me lots of commute time. I am still learning to let go some "used to" this post really helps me reflect and keeps improving :D

.....

Derek, thanks for the golden nugget.

@sean neri - I discovered Yoga on TV. And I do 1 hour in the morning in our living room. So I agree with Derek on this one.

Also, my first hobby was philately. My investment was a stamp stock book and a pair of tongs. Since stamps are miniature works of art I was ( and still am ) collecting topical postal stamps featuring art and artists. I managed to corral thousands of stamps, FDCs, souvenir sheets etc. without breaking the bank.

Interesting, but not very deep.

Nice article, Derek. Silence is so important to me for introspection, recharging and creativity. I have MS and a noisy environment of constant conversations gets me to the place where I have to leave that place and “clear cache”. Thanks for the article.

Always good to hear from you, Derek. The fast. The retreat (also spent time in a noisy monastery.) The RV, and endnotes on procrastination. (The "old dreams" have to be let go of, or unpacked and executed, for sure.) All your clicks and links offer such value, and I looked at them all. You're such a unique human being, and we love you. Good wishes and blessings, M.

Hi Derek! Your piece speaks volumes. I have been in your situation. Your first three sentences are something in which I can totally relate. Often silence is a divine gift whether in your study room or deep in a forest with nothing but the birds. Even the birds give it a rest sometimes. The world often needs a rest and a Holy Day from noise, Loud Americans and loud anything else for that matter.

I love J.J. Vicars's response (probably because I'm Irish too).

On a more serious note - it's all about the 'vibe', Derek. When I don't want people to bother me (and I'm in a public place), I just send out a 'leave me alone' vibe and it works every time. I can sit in a crowed bar and be the person no one talks to. I can sit on a bus and have someone come and sit beside me and they'll leave me alone.

I'm not talking about sending out 'heavy' vibes - as in leave me the f*** alone, just a 'I don't feel like being disturbed' vibe. Trust me, they'll get it! ☺

Vicky Vaswani here from Singapore. Always a pleasure reading your email. Requested to meet up when you were in Singapore but u rejected me. :( Gonna keep trying until it happens one day! Looking forward to the book and the app. I've a feeling the app is about Meditation. I hope i'm right! ;) I've got a Facebook Movement of about close to 5000 people and im passionate about building tribes. So if you're looking to build a tribe around the book or the app, i'm happy to be of service.

You don't need me to say great post! I don't think you even care if i think it's great or not! But it's great either ways! :P Chat soon Derek! Cheers!

Silence and time for thought are indeed rare commodities in today's world - and yet so much joy and creativity comes from contemplation and looking inward. Thank you for reminding us Derek.

Thank you for this, Derek.

Great article Derek. Glad I'm on your list and that I made that trip to Woodstock to see you all those years ago. Much love. Paul.

I am indeed finding it difficult to untangle who I thought/think i was/am.

The result I really want? I've never really thought of it that way. Definitely going to meditate on that a bit. The old images, brief flashes of joy, and oneness... are very challenging.

thank you.

Our whole lives we've been taught it's all here and now, wherever you are. Just need to be still enough to access it. A wall of books and courses still doesn't make taming the mind easy for me. Just a little effort every day, age does the rest.

Yes!
Thank you. ☺
Silence.

I hear you Derek. Wherever I go, there I am.

Derek, I loved your notes and it is very true that finding silence within we can meditate a whole day. It is a state of mind, an attitude and a vibration and universal perception of life , it is everywhere and with all your activities. I have always enjoyed that . When people invite me to visit a holy place, I usually say thank you and I think I am already in my holy temple.
Musically Anaya

I'm very happy to still be on your mail list and to learn of your latest adventures and discoveries. I can't imagine complete silence. I've always been surrounded by so much noise and conversation both outside and inside my head. I would love to experience a cleansing of the mind to see what creative endeavors and possibilities are lurking in the recesses waiting for room to grow. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Derek. They challenge and inspire me. Beth

It's nice to hear from you Derek. I too need time to just "be" in order to digest and recharge after intense periods of socialising. While you technically don't need to relocate to do that, it is sort of refreshing to get out of your usual space and old routines as it's so easy to be reached at home and to be distracted by all that you've accumulated there, mentally and physically. So I think there's nothing wrong with traveling some place else to learn something or buying good equipment for your new hobby, but those things will give you so much more pleasure if you start from where you are now, with what you already have. What we tend to do wrong is to use our inability to do those things as an excuse not to move and start taking action.

Hey Derek - nice article brother. I believe all we have is within. To discover a deep self requires silence, quiet meditation, away from cities, cell phones and especially people. Getting away from your own environment for a while is always good. Its a cleansing for me...mountains, islands, untamed beaches, forests, waterfalls...love it...!

I live on a farm, rarely see anyone but my wife for days on end. I keep up with the news on TV. I pray and read, also write songs. I don't think I could take the din of living in a big city. Some like solitude, some hate it. To each his own.

"The older I get, the more I seem to prefer the company of animals to that of my fellow man"
Mark Twain

Hi Derek! Glad you were able to find your silence while in Ireland. I can completely relate - I MUST have an abundance of silence/alone time to feel whole, to feel truly functional. The majority of people don't get it, but I've over trying to explain myself. I am who I am. And this piece was also a good reminder to me that I don't really need a week-long silent meditation retreat (which I have been contemplating) to get the solid alone time I crave.

Have continued fun in your new camper! ☺

Peace, love , and harmony always,

Jen

Great post. I've long wondered if we mis-associate place and thing. For example, monasteries exist to facilitate quiet contemplation and prayer. Quiet contemplation and prayer don't exist to support monasteries. The places are tools to help us learn the things, things that, ideally, we can eventually do/have/be/experience without the support structures. Said another way, we should learn to live without the structures once we've used the structures to learn.

So much truth in what you say - really touched me. Linked to my true needs and wants. Time to listen to that deep place inside.
Thank you so much.

Steady streams that nourish life flow from quiet places.

... and your Dadness. All good reading this morning. <3 M.

Sometimes it's almost impossible to stop the chatter in your head until the chatter outside ceases. Well done.

Derek!

Usually I am quite verbose. However, I’ll say, simply, “Thank you! I can thoroughly relate to this! 💗”

Hey!Grats for this opportunity for comment; It made me smile in an odd kind of way. I did a 21 day process 19 years ago (developed by Jasmuheen after her own experience)and the thought of being alone for 21 days just blew me away with anticipation! Fortunately I found a caravan site in the quiet Yorkshire Dales here in UK and had a nice log cabin all to myself in November '98 so not many noisy people around.
Blessings

Margaret

Great story. Very true. I live in noisy crowded Manhattan but I can always find alone quiet time. Now, at the end are you saying that silence helps you untangle problems and stop procrastinating?

Have you tried a sensory deprivation chamber?
Yes. — Derek

The sunshine is in your mind. For silence just SHUT the door.

These old mental associations are strongly reinforced by friends and family. Sometimes, to untangle from the associations we need to overcome our loved ones opinions which is not easy.

Best Regards Derek, nice to hear from you again!

Carlos

Hi Derek,
Thank you for another little dose of inspiration. I just got back from a quick trip to NYC and by letting go of the expectation of what would take me towards my goal” of deeper connection with myself unfolded in the most unusual ways :)
Looking forward to your.new book and your app too!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!

Hello Derek, how can we possibly learn telepathy while talking? Stopping our internal dialogue long enough to recognize another's. Is it necessary to communicate vocally at all? I believe it's easier today, to get what one needs, than ever before without vocalizing, therefore minimizing misunderstanding.

Hello Derek. Know that I am in total agreement with this article. Once I learned Finale, I remember not liking the upgrades. Then they came up with stacks. It hurt my productivity. I had to learn the program all over again. I can still make mp3 files with D-110, X3R, and believe it or not, the TX81Z! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's always a pleasure doing business with you.

Love your post! As always, it made me think about myself as well as human nature in general. In the end, it's easier to buy the Lulu lemon outfit than go to the gym. Easier to order business cards than it is to actually set up a business. You get some sense of accomplishment with minimal effort. The rest of it is hard work!

Thanks !!!

We never lived in poverty when my kids were little, although money was always very very tight.
But we all learned the very important difference between 'need' and 'want', and for that we are all grateful.

Thank you for your awareness. I have a four year old grandson who has already surpassed me in this. We keep moving to the end goal. Realizing there are no real losers only some winners take longer to develop.

I had an instructor from the State College here in Oklahoma tell me To use what I have in my hand, And it will lead to what I long in my heart To do.

I love your comments. I have A library and read extensively, educating myself on a daily basis. It seems we end up where we are supposed to be when we give up fighting it.

Thoughtful and insightful -- appreciated greatly!

I, too, need solitude and silence, in ample quantity. Thanks for these thoughts and reminders.

So True!
Please do not make us wait another 5 months.

I wrote one of my most beautiful pieces when I went to a retreat center to be alone but no one would leave me alone. It's called "Never Alone" - https://soundcloud.com/beckyarchi/never-alone

Thanks for sharing. Inspiration and ideas operate independently of where you are. Some of my best ideas come to me when I don't even have time to write them down. I'm always seeking the right balance between alone time and socializing. They are both equally important.

Thanks for the article Derek. It was timely for me. I believe I’m a kindred spirit in regards to getting quite time for the soul. This is a hard trait to own, especially since the western culture tends to devalue those with “antisocial” preferences. I was invited to a birthday party today in my honor. I spent the majority of it up in my room. I could tell that they used me as an excuse to have a get together, since my absence from my own party was inconsequential to their fun. Sorry for the rant. I’m just pleased to hear that I’m not alone in wanting to be alone. Sometimes I wonder, however, if I’ll ever find a place where I can freely be myself. Thanks for giving me hope that there are more people that think like me. Thanks again for the podcast interview you did with me a few years ago.

Auto-didacticism has it’s own rewards.....

Can you elaborate on the process you use to separate the “real goal” from “old mental associations”?
Like “go to India to learn yoga” might be an old bucket-list dream, this image in your head of exactly how that dream will look, but the real goal is learning yoga, so just do that instead of waiting. — Derek

Thanks Derek. You're a rare inspiration in a world of chatter. Reminds me of Pascal:
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Peace.

- G

Excellent food for thought. I'm at a crossroads professionally and personally. You have helped me focus on what's important. Here's to silence and learning - wherever you happen to be. Thanks, Derek.

It’s true: We all need scheduled silence to clear our minds and “recharge our batteries”.

This remain me when I was studying yoga, on a seven day retreat. The Gurus,Monks,and students came together in New York. I was amazed at the Monks, they cover their mouth with white handkerchief during the two days of silence. Although the two days I noticed the words kept coming out. You can find all the peace, silence, and joy within, at the right moment right place in time.

I remember running a group of "high risk" teenagers asking them about those special moments alone pondering their lives. They laughed at such a strange concept. Today I treasure meditation and detachment from my daily "story". I think we need moments of connecting with our inner selves as much as with others.

Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing!!

Amen! Thank you for sharing this insightful post, Derek.

I actually get physically ill if I don’t get enough alone time. It’s a pattern I’ve watched unfold many times in my own life. Always so good to hear from you. Thank you for sharing. :) 💛

Traveling within the mind is both easy and incredibly hard. Happy journeys.

The "Golden Silence"! The unheard "music to my ears". I can't wait for your new book because your emails are short stories that I enjoy so much! Happy Holidays Derek Sivers! Always love reading your "Nuggets or Gold".

Thanks Derek:
I have so much email, but I'm always drawn to your missives. Thanks for the gentle and thoughtful outlook. I've recently moved to Bozeman, Montana, and am figuring out how life will unfold here. Currently talking with an advocate about doing a film on Lyme Disease and we're scratching our heads on funding for production. My previous film broke me, although it's being distributed by this fine group from your neck of the words, Food Matters TV (fmtv.com) Here's a link to my (functional) website. (www.50centsmovie.com).
Best to you on finding those quiet places.
Truly,
Rick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1f9qBm7C9I

my teacher is the renowned Mooji, his teacher is the venerable saint Papaji
i love this video, it is so simple , profound and full of love and humor.

Namaste
I enjoy watching you enjoy Moksha.

So many yeses here I'm not sure where to start. First -- long live the introverts. Silence IS golden. Still waters run deep, Two ears, one mouth and all that. I've actually considered 10-day silent meditation retreats, but opted not to go for the reasons you go into later in the post -- all the things we think we need to do, we CAN do from where we are, we just have to choose to do them. I can go meditate in an RV down by the river ;) I don't need to say I went to a meditation retreat. Sometimes I have to check myself for the real reason I want to do things -- is it to do them or to say I did them?

Second, please send a link to all the free online courses from top schools. ;)

Thank you for being part of my journey today!

Thanks for the reminders Derek!

Really interesting. I need silence and quiet time very much.
I am surprised the monks did not honor the silence.
I read an article recently that said two hours a day of silence
Helps the brain function better and actually creates new
Neural pathways.
I believe it.
Thanks for posting your experience.

This Sivers Share is a Lovely way to begin my day.... reflecting and renewing the stillness that is freeing- free- fulfilling♥️

Silence is so important. I just spent four and a half years at one of the world's leading EV companies. It was a cacophonous and chaotic mess. 400 emails a day, Kanban, Google docs, secret communications. awful. I was let go and I'm now almost decompressed. Thank you for the post, I really appreciate your clarity Derek !

If you really are serious about tranquility and peace.next time your in ireland go to the great blaskets islands.it's about as quiet and remote as going to the moon.you hear nothing but the chatter of seagulls and the Atlantic waves as they give up their power on the cliffs below.peace brother.

Silence is where you hear YOU the loudest. Good for you for recognizing how valuable this time is. I spent a week alone in Maine and it was the most magical week of my life. So much things to see that I couldn't if I were constantly stimulated (music, TV, apps, app notifications, people, work...even the gas stations have TV's, music overhead, a request for a car wash a request for a receipt)... I'm not making them wrong, just all arrows pointing to the necessary opposite. Silence.

Hi Derek,

It's fun to watch you become a writer and begin to wrestle with the questions that writers have wrestled with for a long long time. I hike. You meet people at 12,000 ft but they are mostly encouraging saying things like "you're almost there" and, "the wind at the top is not bad." You don't need anything fancy, an early start so you can be off the mountain when the afternoon storms come, some safety and weather provisions and water. It's a lovely meditation and connection with your body, the world and the immediacy of the moment, the next switchback and the big horn sheep staring at you. All the best, CD (Erie, Colorado)

You're absolutely right - up to a point.

Besides, excuses, there is another significant factor that keeps us from working toward and achieving our goals. Lack of focus.

This can be for a variety of reasons.

I want to write now, but I am looking for shiny objects (e.g. good books, posts, articles to glean information from) and having trouble deciding what to write.

I haven't been writing in quite some time, and my creativity has atrophied.

I know that the only cure is to sit down and write, but where to start...

Although this feedback appears to be focused on me, it really isn't.

I know a lot of other people face the same issues...

we are blessed. keep giving Derek, Merry Christmas!

This feels like letting go of the "how". Letting things unfold how they may, without attachment to how it ends up happening.

Thank you, Derek. More confirmation that the "old mental associations" and our default thought patterns serve to distract us. I feel the same about not being able to go very long without silence. Grateful for your writings.
Janine

Derek,

I don't appreciate you calling me out publicly about my entanglement. You could've been a friend and sent this post to me personally....okay, sir...YOU WIN. I will now launch the podcast I've been talking about (but haven't launched), buying equipment for (good stuff, but not needed to record), and wetting my pants about for the past month (liquid fear).

Thanks again for sharing a part of yourself with us. I love how you just put it out there for us to consider, challenge, absorb or dismiss.

Ken Williams

I love this post.

Same as others below, I can identify with the yearn for silence and solitude amidst a loud and socially-dependent herd of humans.

Dear Derek,

I describe myself as a friendly introvert, as, like you, stretches of silence and solitude are a must for me. If I had a club, the only rule is that it would very rarely meet, but the members would content themselves by sharing info on their latest S&S (solitude and silence) episode.

A good read.

Cathryn

Great! I've found the most peace in the moments that pass when a connection is made with one's true self. I didn't have to go anywhere to figure this out, though, I thought I did. All I had to do was to stop going anywhere, in my head, or otherwise and just sit down and be quiet. For me, running is my "sitting down and being quiet" form of meditation/acceptance and connection with that physical aspect of being at the same time. Thanks for reminding me.

Yeah, I thought u had gone off-line. Anyway, yes we do hold ourselves back and don't look forward for new ways of approaching things. We don't realize how great our potential can and could be.we hit a wall and don't try to climb over it. Its difficult but is doable.

Hello to Derek from Derrick....haha! I wanted to just say thanks for this email and sharing this story because if anything it reminded me of how important it is for solitude. I'm a 46 year old father of four boys....with so much going on....days can seem like a blur of constant stress! Sometimes we go searching for things when it can be found in the simplest of places! Lately I have been saying to myself that I desperately need a vacation but I live on a small lake so today I'm going outside in my backyard to meditate. Thanks Derek.....if any you saved me some money...lol!

Thank you, Derek, for sharing your recent experience in Ireland. There is a distinction between silence and solitude. I believe that you were seeking solitude. Wishing you a year abounding with health, money, and love! And Happy Holidays to all from Sherman Oaks, California.

The Escape from Noise is relatively easy. The Trek to a Peaceful Retreat…..not so much.
Ironically they are really quite different, as you pointed out. It's always about what we allow ourselves to see and feel. How difficult it is to be spiritually poised; ready for that sweet silence…..it could be anywhere……at anytime.

I always enjoy your stories. It's a gift to help people think and you have it.

Thank you Derek.

BRAD

Just goes to show how travel is over-rated and what's up with those American's anyway - LOL

Seriously though - great story and highlights that anyplace your at in life, from being in a good place (which will change eventually), to being stuck in a rut and stagnating or in the middle of life transition (usually undesired), we all have preconceived notions of what we want, how we think and how to get there. This runs the gamut from following the formal and what is expected to the unconventional and more inventive of folks that figure out life and what they want and how to best get it. It's all a challenge and even the unexpected and bad allows us to learn and hopefully get closer to getting there.

Thanks for the thought provoking story Derek!

Thanks for sharing this Derek!

From reading this thoughtful piece, I gathered: We need to get over the noise or BS we tell ourselves - if only this, then that. From your example of if only you had your quiet time in a remote place(M M Abbey), then you'd have solitude and silence. But when we get there, it is not often as expected?

Makes one really reflect onto the why of things!

Your email showed up in my inbox back to back with one from Cal Newport on a Jocko Wilnick interview about discipline, and how having the discipline to do the things you don't necessarily want to do in the moment ends up giving you more freedom in the long run.

It seems the necessary ingredient to taking advantage of many the things you mention here. We may be waiting for circumstances to enforce the discipline that you can find anywhere if you just take hold of it.

Thanks, as always, for sharing your thoughts.

Thank you for sending me the link this article. You are so right. Thank you for reminding me of this important fact.

Derek-
As always I enjoy your observations and experiences you share. (When's your book coming out?)
Anyway to the subject: Is there anyplace with total silence? I have a Nature Sanctuary not far from my house where I go to find stillness and peace and yes... silence. However, as nice as it is for my inner soul and helps when I have to make a life decision, I find myself listening to the birds and running stream and sometimes can even hear far off traffic. This can make me lose my concentration on self and I refocus on what I am hearing. I see that I am only a part of this world that goes on making sounds. I am drawn back into the world and understand that total silence is an enigma---

Try a Vipassana retreat Derek - absolutely zero talking for 10 days. I love silence too :)

Thank you for sharing Derek. I can certainly relate to your need for silence. I always felt a bit different or a lone wolf as one who recharges his battery when by myself and slowly drained when in the company of others. Glad to hear i'm not the only one =D

Derek,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Of course you are right, at least partly. You can learn a language anywhere or receive all the course material from a leading educational institution for free online. But life is not simply utilitarian, it is something that should be lived.

I could learn all the coursework online (well, there was no online when I was in college of course). But what I remember most of my college years was grabbing a beer and debating some of my Economics professors at McSorley's, the all-night study sessions with fellow students where we would challenge each other over ever-flowing pots of coffee, being a research assistant to Professor Peoples,...

What made me appreciate those moments was an even more influential period before college - when I left for NZ at 17 to "get away from it all," working on a dairy farm where the owner told me oh so wisely "Eric, you may have far more book smarts than me, but you have no life smarts." That one line really hurt and stuck with me. It thought me that the greatest teacher is not books or Rosetta Stone, but life itself.

Ironically, now living in China, I'm often told how my Mandarin is horrible (no doubt), and yet how I seem to understand China and the Chinese people better than any laowai (foreigner) they've met, sometimes better than other Chinese. And I know that my transformation is far greater than any books, online blogs or webinars could have bestowed on me (I gobble those up too though). True knowledge comes from embracing life and taking real risk.

Having said that, for those who cannot travel or live in another country for whatever reason, use whatever tools are at hand, and there are many as you so rightly note. It is not the trappings that matter, just the experience.

Ha! I'm that person who went all the way to India to learn to teach yoga. The training was dangerous and subpar, but the experience was unforgettable.

I 100% agree with your idea of separating the "accessories" from the real dream. Good food for thought indeed.

Thought provoking. Thanks.

Hey Derek
thanks for the treat, this have recently been on my research agenda for the last few months, because a friend in Australia told me about a silent retreat she had stayed for 10 days and how after three days of seemingly an insane barrage of intense thoughts she opened up to an amazing peace, so I started to practice from time to time at home sometimes for moments and then for hours, and researching the lives of the great saints, Jesus, Mohammed, Gandhi,mosses, and so on they were able to contact the infinite wisdom of the universe through silence and solitary, and that is the best place to find you, so we should always encourage towards finding this space from time to time in their life.
"silence is golden" thanks for the inspiration.
Movin Melvin Brown

I always feel less confused after reading your posts. Keep me on the list. Thanks.

Someday I wish do the same...

Will ya look at all of us chattering away about silence! We humans are really amusing at times.

Nice.
Isn't it interesting how much work it can take to simply Be?

Intriguing beginning. So important to be open to experiences and non judgmental. Travel helps perspective. Norms vanish and choices appear. Of course a monastery sounded perfect...until you experienced the context. How do we hear our inner voices through all the noise around us? How do we connect with the energy that can power us to do what eludes definition but drives us to keep seeking? I await your wisdom as I search for answers and slowly change the world one tango at a time.

I totally agree about the alone-time.

I also agree about not needing stuff to exercise. It also reminds of a couple women who 'complained' about the attention they would get from men at the dance club. I asked one then why she went there. 'Because we like to dance,' and I pointed out that she didn't need to go anywhere to dance.

I always enjoy your thoughts Derek!

Derek
As an introvert I find that I thrive on a certain amount of simple conversation with others but a week with seven family members might be a bit much. I have discovered the "Dances of Universal Peace", a group of friends who get together once a month to do circle dances and chants from various traditions. The evening always ends with hugs. For me, the dances are well named.

Take care
Harold

I appreciate your stories and lessons. I to find myself visioning what is not a realistic way to reach a goal but sometimes doing so is still a motivator.

I’m curious about the fasting and wonder why you did it. I just went four days and forgot why I was doing it so I started eating again.
In another post you talked about learning iOS app programming. I purchased the course on your Recomendation but I’m not sure if I have the right computer to actually complete the task. They said I had lifetime access to the course so hopefully I get the right gear before the technology changes. Glad to hear from you and hope all is well. Good luck getting some peace. I’m in the laundromat . Nobody else is here. I will try to read...

Deep breaths and sitting in silence can move mountains.
Looking forward to hearing about your journey.
Thank you Derek!

Hi Derek,

Good to hear from you! It's been a while, what have you been up too?
I had contacted you awhile back on relocating the family overseas advice.
You were very kind in responding. Thing are great here in Miami, it's booming! Finding myself staying for the money and not taking a chance and moving to a different place and culture. Always curious why you left the US? Also what do think of Bitcoin ? There is a craze with that, I was at my son soccer practice and a soccer mom was obsessed with it. I thought oh boy that must be ready to crash.

Cheers

Peter

Hi Derek,
Great to hear your (written) voice! Thanks for you thoughts and ideas. Always great!
Danny Schneider

Derek,
Hilarious!
So much for silent retreats.
I crave silence, to the point I swim 🏊‍♂️ two hours daily.
The neutral buoyancy and quietude are embryonic.
I’d be in a rubber room babbling if I ever get too far
from water.
It’s a zen atmosphere here in Santa Fe,NM.
Especially like the 4a-6a blue hours. The chatter of
the zeitgeist is stiller then. Ahhh.

Stay positive!

Steve

It's amazing where you can find silence with practice. Last night it was at a Christmas tree lighting with a fireworks display. At times I even had my eyes closed just absorbing everything until my "silence" was disrupted by a young father explaining in the middle of the show to his kids that "blue" fireworks are the most expensive and that is was a very good show because of the amount of "blue" fireworks.

I was disturbed by this for quite some time.

Because I used to be that father 25 years ago.

Everything can be a good experience if you let it, quite often closer to home than you could ever imagine. And usually if you just spend more time observing you learn far more than you ever knew. Hopefully not that "blue" fireworks are the most expensive.

Nice reminder, Derek. Creative people need to make time and space to be alone with their thoughts. The modern world increasingly demands our full, undivided attention. Information overload is creating a polarized, self-validating and dangerously fanatical civilization. People incorrectly believe that it's because we do TOO MUCH internalizing, but it's really because we tend to allow the crowd to do our thinking for us. Genuine understanding of the world (and our place in it) begins self-knowledge. The noise that our modern world generates is unavoidable -- with its superficial distractions and overt propaganda -- but reminding ourselves of our place in the world, by being in a quiet place, can help us become more effective and connected human beings.

Thank you, Derek.

Great thought! When looking for what you wanted you found it, just not in the way you wanted it. What a great lesson - focus on the end result. Awesome! Thanks for the inspiration!

Hi Derek,
Good to hear from you and doing what you love. Personally, I cannot get peace and quiet in my own home when I need it. I pick up my guitar, grab a note book, jump in the car and head for the hills. "Merry Christmas" and have a great "New Year"

Love the post. I had an opposite experience where I went on a surf trip to Costa and was camping in solitude on the north end of Santa Teresa beach. Instead of chilling out I became stir crazy for 3 days which culminated in a wave splitting my board in half on a failed takeoff. I let the monkey mind win and bring me back to the parties in Malpais. I was so much younger then. I'm older than that now...which means I'm slightly more chilled out. These days I think I can handle (and would like) a long silent retreat. Maybe I could write with the clarity of Yuval Harari with a practice like this!

Thank u for this.
I'm craving the silence in this season of making sales goals before the end of year.
Your writing offered a little time for me to invest in relaxation. Beautifully written.

Hey Derek,

there is only one way to own everything:
don't wish for anything.

Ciao!

Lol!! ...sounds like a very Irish Vow-of-Silence monastery...😬
(Being part Irish on my paternal grandfather’s side, many MANY have confirmed I’ve inherited his ‘gift of the gab’!!)
😉
There is, however, Something serene about attempting to master the ability to function within regardless of how much noise & human activity is going on around one...a sort of The Matrix-like other dimension one carries wherever one is...just a thought! (Though I too have reguarly made use of hotels’ ability to ‘hide in plain sight’ and find it extremely refreshing.)

Derek - Thanks for this insight:

"We have old dreams. We have images we want to re-create. They’re hard to untangle from the result we really want."

This rings so true in my experience. The separating of "what I feel comfortable with" and "what I really need and want" is such a real dilemma for lots of us.

As it is this post leaves me wondering and examining my own story.

Thanks for sharing your experience -

Blessings Brother Derek,
Joseph

Great post Derek! I really relate to your point about the different surprising ways we can find what we want or need.Most of what we need comes from within anyway. However I'm not so sure about the week of silence thing. That would drive me bonkers! Happy holidays!

always a pleasure to hear from you regardless of the topic. Have a lovely Christmas, cheers and thanks.

I have this writing. I always think that I have to setup my room, time, appetite whatever, to get down to writing. But some of the best work I've done has been sitting on a train commuting to work.

I've realised it's a mixture of space and time - space where no one will bother you (public transport is surprisingly good) and a time limit to do it in. You know you're only there for a short while so make use of it.

Good to hear from you, and thank you for your thought-provoking writing. After exploring the idea of living in an RV, then a former lifeboat converted as a live-aboard, Lynn and I settled on this former shepherd’s bothy in a remote and hilly part of the Scottish Borders. We were entirely off-grid for 5 years, then electricity poles came up the high valley and we were finally persuaded to have it extended to our cottage on the basis that we were both over 65 - two years later, I had a near-fatal heart attack, and I was very grateful that we’d given in!

There are two of us, and three dogs, so we didn’t have complete silence; but Lynn writes and I have a small music room, so we do have times of near-solitude in which to create. But the main point I want to make is this: remote, unpopulated areas are as busy as cities; but with wildlife instead of people! We have virtually every kind of neighbour that’s native to Scotland, busily getting on with their lives as the days and seasons unfold around us. The noise of the burn cascading over rocks, the buzzards calling to each other and wind in the trees replaces the city’s hum, but it’s far from silent. Remote landscapes are wonderful, but I believe that solitude can be experienced almost anywhere that there’s a quiet corner in which to focus our attention inward.

Best wishes to you and yours.

So true: "It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations."

And that we separate the logic in the goal from the way the outcome will make us feel. Go for the feels.

Hi Derek , I just read your post to my daughter as her bed time story. She really enjoyed it and wanted to add a comment. She's 8. Here's her comment:

I really like how you described your story. Sometimes I also want some space because of my 2 younger sisters who drive me crazy.

I think about this a lot because I live in Tokyo where there are millions of people and I get overstimulated. I require a lot of alone time to cope and I've tried to do this in my home office, but I feel trapped and claustrophobic because it isn't the right environment for me. I know that I feel calm when I'm surrounded by nature like trees and birds chirping, but it's difficult for me to achieve that when I'm also surrounded by people. So, although, I agree with the mantra, "Start Today" I know that in order for me to start I do have that requirement. The trouble is that I have not once been able to find a quiet spot to myself in any of the parks here. It really feels like I do have to get away into the countryside to be in nature by myself. Know thyself enough not to compromise.

I find it ironic that you initiated this with "there's one thing that you can't do without...and that's solilude and silence". Looks like the Universe heard you and provided you with "The Loud American"until you cleaned up that vibration and received what you really wanted at your Kilkenny destination.
Glad you found what you were looking for.

Great to hear from you, Derek! Your story kind of reminded me a bit of The Wizard of Oz. Also, it IS surprising when the reality of a situation is completely different than our expectation (e.g., your time with the monks). In another way, our minds don't know how to stop projecting scenarios of our expectations onto the future, often creating anxiety and even dread. For the most part, those scenarios never come to pass and we've wasted all that energy living in the world of our own negative creation. We'd certainly be better off just being in the here and now, and taking things as they actually come. Working on that... ☺

I'm sure it was annoying as hell at the time, wanting silence, but having the blah-blah-blahing American talk at you during your 'silent retreat,' but on the bright side, it made for a funny story and a life lesson for each of us. Thanks for sharing the way you do Derek.

Someone really wise said something similar about Charlie Sheen's character in the movie "Wall Street" where he asserts that if he make enough before 30, he can ride his motorcycle across China.
It was pointed out by this wise person that he didn't NEED a ton of money to do this; that it was just a fixture in his head - a destination in the path of Sheen's success.....
Oh wait, that wise person was you!
On a more serious note, how are you able to explain to people close to you/loved ones that you need solitude?
I crave it daily, but my partner can't stand being alone.
Any thoughts?
Thanks again for all your great insight.

If yours is my favorite TED Talk, this is my second favorite:
https://www.ted.com/talks/ludwick_marishane_a_bath_without_water

What I love about that TED Talk is that he does everything through an old Blackberry. People are walking around with supercomputers in their pockets talking about what they can't do! >.<

I try to do everything I do in a way everyone could do it... if that makes sense. :)

As always Mr Sivers, Beautiful writing and spot on, Thank You.

I hear ya.

One of the things I love about traveling abroad is that even in a packed train car - I can barely understand whatever language they are speaking and usually not at all. It's like being alone whenever I want.

Today I was tuning a piano in the U.S. and the woman whose piano I was tuning told the same story about her friend getting divorce papers and her pre-nup and why did this happen right before xmas... Heard her tell the story 4 times to different people. I really wished she spoke a different language so I wouldn't have understood her.

If you’re looking for total silence and a real experience of total immersion and isolation by yourself I highly recommend you try a Vipassana retreat. You’ll meditate for ten days in silence and uncover a lot of stuff within your subconscious. Check out www.vipassana.org for more info.

I like being totally alone in a busy place. Like my apartment in HK, looking down at people on the carless streets going about their business, yelling at each other; In Fez on a rooftop looking down at the people going about their lives with their donkeys and call for prayer- like they've done since forever. It's like slo-mo. I did my best reflecting on life and had my best epiphanies in places just like this. Also, Paraty in a room above the bustling, colorful little tourist streets pops into my mind. I like hearing the chatter and the noises, and watching people do their thing without having to actually be in it. I don't like being completely isolated. People I like to spend time with talk about solutions for the future with passion. They have crazy ideas that "just occurred to them". Cypherpunks. Offbeat, eccentrics and weirdos float my boat. I'm one of them I guess! LOL

Thank you for this.

I am guilty of over-extending myself and using up my resources to do something when the answer was to simply be more resourceful.

I'm happy I got to hear from you again.

> Some people think they need expensive equipment to start a new hobby, certain clothes to look the part, or for everything to be just right.

Remind me of my "minimum pack" when I need travel due to contract-based work.
What always present is a spare hoodie, enough clothing for a week, a notebook, towel, and toothpaste + toothbrush (and due to old habit, first aid kit with whistle). Everything else is just complementary.

Most of the time, the less we have the more focused we are to finish the tasks at hand.

I know how you feel, Derek, as I am a very outgoing person, but from time to time, I need to recharge my batteries, by having alone time. Right now I have more alone time than I would like, as I lost my beloved husband, Don, 19 months ago, after 55 years of marriage. I am slowly getting more involved with outside volunteer jobs. The upside is that now I can pick and choose the time I contribute, and the causes I choose to support. I am still helping bands, and working with a couple of music conferences, but in a much less involved way than I use to. I really have received so much help from your articles, and meeting you in Philly those many years ago, was an encounter I have never forgotten. For such a young man, you had such an awesome aura, and you
had more wisdom, than many folks who were years older than yourself. Your quiet confidence, and the way you treated people, made a lasting impression on me, and I have never forgotten you! I am proud to call you a friend, and look forward to learning something new, each and every time you contribute an article. God bless you and continue to support your search for truth and light. I am so happy you now have a family! BTW, love the above photo!!

Do you the term Bricoleur? I love. It’s a person that makes something with whatever they have at hand. Actually wrote a short bit about it last year. http://www.pierreduplessis.co.za/ramblings/i-learnt-a-new-word-bricoleur

Peace

I know exactly what you mean about the silence. It’s becoming more and more difficult to find in our society. I blame the incredible amount of noise people now make largely on the mobile phone. It has also led to the complete erosion of the notion of appropriate behaviour. And as musicians, it’s often harder to deal with noise. I admit that I now take a pair of earplugs wherever I go and believe me I use them often.

The point about clutter is a good one too. We have a tendency to surround ourselves with all sorts of unnecessary paraphernalia, convinced that it’s essential to our activity. Can’t do gym without machines - not true. Can’t go cycling without my lycra suit - not true. Can’t keep up with my friends without Facebook - not true. Which brings us back to mobile phones.

So much for progress.

All the best for Christmas and 2018!

I agree with this.

I subscribed to a library 45 minutes from my home.
But i couldnt focus much there. Also my attendance was poor.

Then i subscribed to a simpler library below my home.

And my attendance increased almost double and i can focus more easily as i can drop in to see my family when i feel like.

Also I travelled to udaipur in India once.
I was hoping to see grand palace architecture but instead i learned what courage meant and how the kings lived through a lot of uncertainty, wars.

Then i visited Gandhi aashram in gujarat.
I saw learnt more about truth and could see how powerful it can be.

so Travel is a great teacher.
Also it makes the topic of learning a surprise :)

Travel teaches a lot.
Sometimes i wonder if travel is a more real teacher as compared to books.

Derek,
This last part hit home big time for me: "It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations. We have old dreams. We have images we want to re-create. They’re hard to untangle from the result we really want. They become excuses, and reasons to procrastinate."

I've recently been doing a lot of work to rid myself of excuses and instead work on doing. Even if it's the "wrong" type of doing, that's where the learning and growing happens. Thank you for your words. They are always such a gift in terms of challenging old ways of thinking.

Carrie

After looking for such a place for a while, I bought a very small piece of very quite place here in Nepal. Hope to open it to anyone interested in 3 months time.

Thanks Derek

100% agree :)

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story about how trying to find solitude in the place where most would expect to find it, ended up being so not the case. It was a refreshing read for me, mostly because the last couple of years of my life have had numerous, make that innumerable examples of how expectation was always defeated by the extant reality that greeted me. I attempted to revive a career only to have to deal with people I would normally never associate with, in- or outside of a business setting. I discovered how actions were always rationalized as necessary, but the words, though never matching, always held moral sway, no matter what. Perhaps most importantly, I understood that my will to help others in an untiring way, even when the alarm bells about what I was doing to myself in the process were going off, only resulted in them getting what they wanted. So, this came to me in perfect time, and for that, as with earlier pieces of wisdom you have shared, I greatly appreciate, and deeply value. Thank you Derek! I hope 2018 is the best year you have had yet. As for me, time to untangle my goals and get things moving along, as soon as possible.
Take care.

Thanks Derek. I think it´s very important with silence and peacefulness but it can be hard to relax if one is used to a stressful life.
Season greetings to you!

I attended the Pause on Error database developer conference over Memorial Day weekend at The Presentation Center in Los Gatos, California.

There was expected silence from waking, through a ninety minute morning meditation session led by John Tarrant of the Pacific Zen Institute and Todd Geist, and to remain silent until breakfast was finished. Most all followed the silence rule well.

The concept seemed odd: to have 60-70 pro developers, all brimming with ideas, holding their tongues for a couple of hours.

In practice this made the conference so much more powerful than most I've attended. I really enjoyed the silence in the presence of others. But maybe that is due to my Irish heritage. ;-)

Nice, I think that we're all on communcation over load all over the world.
It hard for me too. Since so many people love to be noisy.

Gosh Derek, that first location sounded like such a buzz-kill. I would have bolted from there so quick as well. So glad you were able to find a quiet spot to focus and create. I sometimes pop on my noise-canceling headphones or ear plugs to truly focus and create. The more I block the sounds of other humans, the more I get done in a day. Thanks so much Derek for sharing this cool article with us and congrats on everything happening in your life right now! Take care.

Well said Derek, always happy to hear from you. Unfortunately I rarely disagree with anything you say. So an interesting connundrum occurs, should I be quiet on all you write and just pipe up and disagree? I wonder, so I write if I agree or disagree.

I can't remember how we became connected. I saw your email pop up in my inbox and the title sounded promising, even though I don't expect much of anything to surprise or intrigue these days. I, too, need a lot of solitude. It was refreshing to hear someone else talk about it. The people and their "noise" is something that crowds me out. I believe I know exactly what you mean about languages and other endeavors. It is, again, refreshing to hear someone articulate those things in a way that jogs my mind into action. Today happened to be the first day I decided to change some unproductive morning habits. I regard coming across your post as the universe telling me there are all kinds of things I could be doing. And to be careful of falling into the noise! As I was finishing this comment, I saw that there are many other comments, and they are pretty cool, too! They give solitude a new dimension.

What an interesting post - it's articles like these that make me glad I follow your writing, because you always make me think. I happen to be an extrovert, and though I do enjoy peace and quiet from time to time the idea of seeking out silence for six straight days makes me quiver in terror. Reading this made me wonder about that aspect of my personality, and if I should try to push boundaries in that area. I might start with six hours of silence and work up from there, perhaps it will help me find the focus that has eluded me.

So true Derek! Happy Holidays!!!

yes not being able to get to Ireland or wherever is not a reason to procrastinate. Yes we all need down time or alone time. But to dismiss the power of the embodied world is a mistake. I want to see LIVE art, I want to learn from a teacher who is breathing and being in the same room with me, and with other students also vibrating and trying in that same space. The online world is not the answer to everything. As a teacher, I have seen what all-cyber-everything-all-the-time has done to too many of my students over the years, making them anxious, chronically distracted, chronically unable to focus, often addicted to devices, alienated, and lacking in affect - in fact often alarmed at human contact. It is a scary scenario. I do not wish it on our society. Kids who play violent vid games are more likely to lack empathy - and this has been studied extensively. Kids online too much often develop anxiety and depression and don't learn how to focus or read well. The embodied world is deeply important and in many cases we are allowing ourselves to be separated from that by corporate entities that propose to create and mediate our cultures and our human interactions for us - and not for our good. As a live artist I find this a toxic development, though I am no luddite. But I believe technology needs to be thought through/interrogated carefully, not just worshiped uncritically. Yes, if you can't afford Harvard, go online and learn - but don't forget that Harvard is NOT the repository of everything great on earth - brand names with big advertising budgets are not the answer to everything nor are they the best of everything no matter the gossip. Because there is no such thing as a true meritocracy in this country, and 'online' has not changed this. You will find brilliant teachers at your local state junior college too, though they get less play and no adulation, more often being female, working class, or people of color. There are great music teachers in your local music store. There are great thinkers in your local house of whatever worship you do. Languages? You can find immigrants from everywhere in neighborhoods in your town, if you care to extend yourself. At this point, those folks might like and need a visit from a friendly face. Go find humans. If you need a break, great, but don't think that utter solitude and utter independence from human interaction is an answer for living or that it will make you whole.

Great article Derek. I think there is strong merit in stress testing negative assumptions. At times, too quickly I have assumed a course of action was not possible due to obvious barriers but did not undertake analysis to: (a) understand if the barriers could be removed or reduced; or (b) if an alternative course of action would generate the same result. Good to have you back writing! Cheers, Chris.

Derek,
Your choice to escape the worthless clutter and the chattering voices vying for your attention has refreshed me. I've met only a few people willing to put down their cell phones long enough to attend what really matters, which I believe is attaining the proper perspective of this brief journey called life. There is a purpose for existence and a purpose for it's relatively short duration. There is a reason why there are trials and tribulations, which only appear to be unfair. There is a sound justification for evil, believe it or not, and a revelation as to what's important and what is not important when you're mature enough to accept the truth;none of which are revealed in Facebook, Twitter, apps, or cell phones. The electronic garbage in our lives is triggering a worldwide stupor because people are refusing to take the time to personally investigate what's really going on. We would rather believe slogans and phrases rather than expend the energy it takes to discern the truth from the lie.
I'm so glad you have veered off the freeway to Nowheresville" and are enjoying the trail to Serenity. I've been here awhile and I'm not going back. I can't.
Happy Driving, my friend!

I was listening to GaryVee talk about this. His approach was much more aggressive as you could imagine, but none the less the same principal. My football coach from high school described it as "excuses are like A#$H!@ we all have them and they all stink". I never liked that one. Working backwards from your thought process I think about the quote that goes, "you can't be mad at where you are at because at one point it was what you wanted". You got to hold yourself accountable and push through the so called barriers you mostly create yourself.

Tried to find complete solitude for a while, but everywhere I went I noticed I was still there!

The loudest voices often come from my own head, how do you escape that?

Yes. Silence is very difficult for me to come by. Every moment of it seems like aa great reward as I get older.

Great storytelling. Really got to me, though I kept thinking "shut up already"

Which may explain my method, and a lot more...

Hey Derek,

Very cool. Thanks for sharing your experience and your wisdom. Not sure I could do a silent retreat. My hubby has, and loves it. But I am inspired to quiet my mind and focus on the present. All the best for the season: "May you be blessed with the spirit of the season, which is peace; the gladness of the season, which is hope; and the heart of the season, which is love." (An Irish Christmas Blessing)

Shé

What top school are free?
If you're asking me, in a blog comment, instead of asking a search engine, you might not be ready for it. — Derek

A little solitude and silence go a long way.

Hi Derek,

Your article hits home. I'm definitely happier and easier to live with when I have periodic bouts of solitude. Like you, I've been known to book hotel rooms in order to be alone, but that gets a bit pricy.

Thanks,

Nancy

Derek, thank you for writing your story.

I find noise pollution to be toxic to my nervous system and it interrupts my thoughts and ability to concentrate. This is why I avoid public places where I know the noise levels will be off the charts. Many high end eateries are some of the noisiest places on the planet. Go figure...

Good for you for finding the solitude and quiet that you were longing for.

I enjoyed your article. It was spot on for me.

I'm trying to dump all my old dreams.

I stayed at an abbey once, with Buddhist monks. There was a ton of talking at certain times, and actually bothered me as well. Yet, there was also silence for at least 24 hours at one point-- that was perfect. Learning to work your way through tasks, sometimes around others and maybe even interacting with them, but in silence was really interesting and relaxing. I don't blame you for leaving though, if you want true solitude and silence, I don't think any place that has congregations of people will work versus being truly alone-- except maybe for the strictest of silent groups.
Peace

I understand completely. I was affiliated with a monastery for three years in California and there was never any silence; even during the oblate retreats which were specifically designated "Silent Retreat," the dining room was filled with loud chatter and people talking with one another throughout the day; and I too, being an introvert and an artist, have a deep love of solitude and silence, know the immense difficulty of finding it in any one particular place.
The moments in my life that arise unexpectedly; when suddenly, I stop and stand still and realize I have this time before me is like coming across heaven and, I seize the precious moment, hour, half-a-day that I've been given and use it for the gift it is to me.
And yes, I have also realized that I have not been who I thought I was because I have had to learn to live in the flow of life rather than demand that life rise up to meet my expectations; things work out much better this way.

Very nicely written and I agree that we all need that time to talk to oneself !!!

I have been realizing more and more lately that I have spend large portions of my life chasing old goals and now that I have been meditating enough for them to fall away, I don't know that I like where I ended up.

I think we all have this survival/defense mechanism of accumulated reasons why we cannot do things or why they were not done. They are knee-jerk reactions that make us feel better about ourselves in the short run, but not in the long.

Right on Bro. Understand exactly what you are saying. Great article.

Thank you for your thoughtful words. Transitions are exhausting. Moving from one setting to another requires time to reset. Silence and solitude are essential to my being, but I need to be on guard against isolation. I can be so into solitude that my ties begin to unravel and I'm suddenly feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. For me there is a need to be a part of a community. It's a delicate balance.

Hello. I appreciate the article. I appreciate the effort you put into whatever you’re seeking. I think the difficulty with your mission is that you don’t know what you’re seeking and, ultimately, you don’t know who you really are.

I think if you knew truly what you were missing in your heart, it would truly revolutionize your journey. I pray you get to know that which makes you feel the lack in your heart because the lack can only be dispelled by the presence of the Holy Spirit of God.

You have hit on a truism that exists not only in the minds of the folks who want to gain that experience, education, or the right stuff, but that is broadcast continuously directly to our brains and souls by the communications-retail complex.

Do I really need a new Lexus to truly enjoy the holiday season? Is it true that "Every kiss begins with Kay?" Must I ride the rivers of Europe in a luxury cruise ship to find some peace along the water?

Simplicity is highly underrated. And if you can turn away from the drone of the consumer society you may enjoy some peace and quiet, too.

Why do you have to identify the loud, chatty person as American? Playing into old stereotypes. Not nice.

Beautifully said. A documentary that touches on our overly-noisy (and in my opinion nosey) Western culture is 'In Pursuit of Silence' by Patrick Shen. Stress from noise is extremely damaging to one's health. Silence is not revered enough.

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself is your own solitude. As an orchestral musician and high school music teacher the silence part can be that which is the most sought after.

Often people feel the need to fill the silence with idle chatter. Silence tends to make people feel uncomfortable, that there might be something wrong. Silence is only the pause between ideas allowing the conversation to breathe.

As well, we DO have everything we need, right here, right now. People who are sad are too busy thinking of yesterday, those who are anxious are too busy with tomorrow. Live in the moment. It is all we truly possess.

so true

Thank you. This really tugged my heart in a new way. Thank you again! I'm on my path toward growth and creating my art for the world and this reminded me that everything I need is in reach

There are so many ways to be along, some creatively and most just normal places. I like to go to the aren't typically frequented during traditional holidays for the sole purpose of being around as few people as possible in that moment.

I love people but I love solitude nearly as much.

I believe the sounds of Quiet are most important for sanity. I grew up in a big city and thought all the noise was deafening and it was until I left for mountain life found my peace. I think better in quiet.I can here the wind in the trees and song birds Thank you for your article

I am always seeking what I call a USS - 'Unmechanized Sound Second' - the count to 1, 2, or possibly even 3 seconds (I've rarely made it to 2), in which not one man-made machine noise can be heard. It's very hard to find. Even on a relatively remote island, the sounds of a passing motor boat would not quite end before an airplane started overhead, or someone turned on a generator. My ears are tuned to the search for hearing nothing - if a USS occurs, I 'hear' it.
But as it is so rare, I've learned to enjoy the 'almost' silent moments, or find the same feeling of peace a thousand waking birds chirping at first light brings over one, or crickets at night, or the hush of the household furnace fan on a cold night, with a good book, and sleeping cats. It's that which brings forth from inside us, the long deep sigh, we need.
There are too many of us, and this will get worse before it gets better. We need our own personal bag of tricks to illicit the sigh, as many times a day as possible.

exactly
and importantly
you have written IT

From the sounds of it you hit a classic "tourist trap". There are legitimate places which adhere to the codes of old, while others who modernize to attract and then try to coddle on to the largesse of the "victims". As they say all is well that ends well. Try a university library during the holidays they are the cats meow. Nice article. Thank you.

Thank you for the great reminder to rest and realign, even if you have to journey from one place to the next to get there.

He's got the music in him and nothing else matters....

Thank you. Loved this article. Reminds me that everything I need is right in front of me.

LOL! Do you see the irony in your need to travel to Lyrath Estate to "get what you want" while criticizing others for the same? Nothing forced you to acknowledge conversations with the loud American (or anyone else for that matter). A polite finger to the lips in response to his questions would have settled the issue immediately. Or even better, since you start your post with a weird claim that going 10 days without food is "just fine," you don't need to eat, so don't visit the chatty dining area at all. Then there is the most obvious: Ireland is overflowing with cheap, isolated cottages for rent - just you, you, and you.

But really, I suspect you just prefer the convenience and comfort of a hotel vacation, apparently one surrounded by Lady Charlotte’s historic gardens, over a plain monastic's holiday.

thank you so much for sharing. i concur 100% and find myself completely happy in (and always seeking more) silence too (especially from Americans though i am one. sometimes i feel my imagination has been stolen by too much information; i want to shrug off my social conditioning and just be...in this beautiful beautiful world.
how do you come up with the funds for travel? as i look i feel trapped. it feels almost impossible to come up w/ hundreds (or thousands) of dollars to leave america...any tips would be appreciated.
thanks again for being so lovely.

Thanks as always Derek.
Elam

I found solitude in a salt mine, working alone for five months and would recommend it to you...

I AM "Resourceful". Lesson learned is never to hire out my INNER PEACE. Trust in the resourcefulness that I AM and my needs are always met. True SILENCE is finding your own way home into the inner silent world of your own true self. When you are HOME in this space within which is always SILENT for it is beyond even the thoughts of YOURSELF you will learn your own true nature and essence and realized the things of this noisy external world are all but NAUGHT.

I don't keep up with the Jones' because I am too conscious of creating and maintaining my own peace. Now ... I AM peace. Where I AM peace always exists.
All highly sensitive people detest noise for it is no more than a vibratory scattering of your essence. What is most times the focus of such scattering conversations...STUFF! How to acquire more of it or now the new thing of how to MINIMIZE your STUFF! When will we wake up and see that with or without any of it the focus is still on STUFF!
I paid this or I did not pay that! I want this and I choose to wait for that!
Where is life lived in a scenario such as this? The answer is simple. Life for such thinker of these types of thoughts does not EXIST. Might this be DEATH?
I have read MUCH.
I have traveled MUCH.
I have meditated MUCH.
I have hiked MUCH.
and blah blah blah blah blah...
then I just stopped talking. I am laughing out loud because for me it was just that simple. I would listen to all the foolishness around me but I refused to participate any longer. I'm talking quit the job, change the phone number, cut the family off, drop the relationship and what happened?

I discovered a "blank page" on the inside of ME.
I call this 'blank page" my true SELF!
I can be anywhere now and all I need to do to get to my "blank page" is close both of my eyes together and I AM HOME!

When you find your way HOME you hear EVERYTHING.
you see EVERYTHING.
The thoughts of all others are vibrations but you must know your own silence to hear that which does not belong to you.
INTENTIONS are displayed over a persons head like the script written in a comic book. All you need to do is take a look and read it! I do all the time for such is the gift of finding your own SILENCE! The field of INTENT is like looking in a mirror that dispels time. There are never any coming attractions for me. I have learned to make all necessary adjustments for myself as things have been revealed for me in SILENCE.

One more very important gift about SILENCE everyone that has ever lived still EXISTS there I mean EVERYONE like they are just waiting for someone to listen to them. Every genius,every master of life it all depends on WHERE YOU ARE AS YOU ARE. A vibratory match is a vibratory match of SILENCE!

May the inner peace of TRUE SILENCE be yours this lifetime.
I continue to maintain and perfect the SILENCE of my existence.
In SILENCE I AM eternal...

The wonderful thing about silence is that it is not only there in the absence of sounds, it is there under each and ever sound. Even a jackhammer can be a gateway to the stillness that lays beneath -- always there. Steady.

I think it is important to learn to enjoy being alone without being lonely. Disconnecting for even a few hours can really recharged your spiritual battery.

Don’t be too hard on the Americans. Most of us mean well, and like to engage new people, which may be interpreted as being overly friendly. :)

Derek, the article doesn't seem finished.
To backtrack, I tried fasting. For 6 months, I fasted two days/week. At about that point, I couldn't do it anymore. I must have "used up my reserves" or "lost concentration on the big picture". I got super sleepy midday, and only wanted to sleep for hours in some ditch.
I enjoy almost complete solitude and peace in my forest home. I love it here.

We often don't know how to reach our dreams. What specific steps to take. Sometimes, conditions must change, and patience is hard. Or a new dream emerges. I think of that Garth Brooks song, "I thank God for unanswered prayers", for if he had gotten what he dreamed, he'd be much less free/ more unhappy. Thanks for sharing! Nice gift during the Holidays...

Hi Derik !
Long time no hear .... my thoughts are this ...
My solitude comes from Jesus Christ and his written word , I love the song
"In the garden "
Here are the lyrics
I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses,
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

Verse #2
He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me,
Within my heart is ringing.
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

Verse #3
I'd stay in the garden with Him,
Tho' the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go, thro' the voice of woe,
His voice to me is calling.
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own,
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

Always enjoy your articles !
Diane ( I met you when you had CD Baby ) that was already 8 years ago!

I real enjoyed reading about what you have been doing .
The silence a part of my life I enjoy . Thank you for sharing yur thoughts and experiences enjoy it .

Hi Derek
I learnt medication many years ago, but find the distractions at home, the suburban noise etc distracts me from from achieving quiet. Going away you can find peace and tranquility and allows you to focus

I agree.
I was considering going back to uni but recently saw a video that showed many of the worlds most successful ppl criticising uni. Now i realise im better off to use a different route. Cheaper and skills based.
Most of my interests are low cost like yoga, guitar, hiking, reading, writing.

Silence is very important to me too. I get a lot of it.
And yes ive often fallen for the old trap of mistaking dreams for reality and sacruficing for something i dont even want

Dear Sir
Silencing Mind is more important than calm environment
VN

So helpful Derek. As you know I'm wrapped up building my fitness studio ATOMIC Total Fitness in NYC. At one point it seemed like such a big dream/goal that I never thought I'd succeed. Now that the biz is thriving, I find myself trying to sift through all of the conflicting advice on how to grow a business. Thanks for reminding me of what's important and that for the most part, the answers I seek reside in my heart. This is an ongoing theme in my life - attempting to look outside for what lies within. Wonderful and timely words, thanks again!

We all need some alone time. We have to get away sometimes just to get some peace of mind. Good post. Thank you for sharing.

You went without food for 10 days!

How are you not dead?

What happened? Lost at sea temporarily or marooned in a desert or somesuch?

Were you tempted to eat a co-survivor?

You must have been in an absolute state by day 10?

Or are you pulling my leg and going to say 'but I drank milkshakes' or something like that?

HEY DEREK JUST COME OUT OF CANCER DOING WELL HOPE YOUR DOING WELL SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE, STILL TRYING TO GET MY MUSIC GOING NOTHING YET THEY REALLY WENT ALL OUT WITH CD BABY ITS A BIG THING NOW THEN WHAT IT WAS PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRESADENT HES LOOKING TO BY CHINA JUST IN CASE YOU HAVENT HEARD BE SAFE GOD BLESS YOU.

Good stuff Derek...thanks for sharing

Very nice piece. Thanks for sharing. I always appreciate your thoughtful dispatches.

Yes, my alone time is very important to me, but I'm guilty of think I need this or that to get the job done. Thanks for the reminder simplest is better with something.

No where to run to hide I found this article amusing and laughed a lot...you are still an amazing friend I like to think we are. Nice you are back.

sincerely, Sam Stray

Like most things in life I have found that it is a matter of keeping a balance. I love being around friends and family and having a good time but there are times I really need to be alone to read, work on a lyric or an arrangement, or do a few puzzles with no one to interrupt me.

Great post. I understand completely. I've been wild at work with a new job (open-space format) and realize all i want to do at the end of the day or week is just retreat to my own thoughts. I'm trying to build back in some solid 'me' time activities throughout the day, even if its just a quick car ride errand over lunch. The space makes me a happier, healthier, me!

Totally agree! I lived in 5 different cities trying to start a new life and change everything -untill I realized every change should start inside myself. Of course there are some places I'd like to live in-but after changing my mindset. Thanks also Derek for sharing both your new "now" and your new book reviews!

Hi Derek
Love the article and the image. It starts with our state of mind and intention. As you said so many people have so many expectations and past references attached to the outcome they wish to achieve when all they have to do is make a decision and get started. Quiet time and solitude can be found under headphones with a beautiful piece of music and your eyes closed and heart open like sitting in a busy shopping mall on your skateboard. Each morning part of my daily ritual is being quiet and listen to a piece of music on loop eyes closed and being grateful. thanks Terry

Thought I was the only human who thought this way.

Loved reading this. I defend my hour-hour and a half daily solitude. I got started journaling about twelve years or so ago. (As it happens: After Katrina). Occasionally when I travel I will let a day or so slip by, but I am at a point in my life where I can definitely see the ‘restless scanning of the rational mind’, the ‘negative scripting’ creep in, and I’m no longer willing to live with that brain. I also do some spiritual reading, as prep for my work as ‘public property’. If I do that, I really don’t mind the work.
Look forward to reading your book,
James

The peace comes from inside wherever you are

Look forward to potentially sharing in whatever this silent utopia has helped you to create. :)

Pointing out the need for balance, comment # 51 quoted how, in recovery from alcoholism, a man all alone is in bad company.

Before I move up to the umbrella artist level, let me say about that one man that he has the "stinking' thinking' that leads to the drinkin'." By being around others, his thinking is subjected to realistic perceptions of saner people, to checks and balances of the real world. This is healthy. This may prevent a relapse into drinking.

At the artist level, there is something to be said for public commuting, public sidewalks and spaces, joining hobbies, organizations and clubs. Not just to know our audience, but to keep our rough edges smoothed off.

So that we can share a feeling of membership and a common orbit, rather than an eccentric orbit. So that if we are being different, being, you know, "artistic," then we are doing so with awareness, not blindly. Big difference.

The opposite would be cultists, jihadists and motorcycle gang members. By staying narrow and isolated from the community they keep their sharp differences, but at a price: They don't create art.

I understand your need for silence and solitude, Derek. I absolutely LOVE being away from people a good deal of the time....They tend to wear me out.

Derek,

I have been struggling with mental health issues and in the last month have been in intensive therapy. Silence is soo soothing. It allows us to just be with our thoughts, no judgements, and learn to push away destructive thoughts and re-program the message.
Instead of "I am messed up!" I listen to that, hear it, and re-direct into "I have new opportunities to learn new things about myself. Being open to pain leads to healing."
I agree with the saying "where ever you go, there you are". Being kind to ourselves is hard. Or is to some of us. But cleansing our thought patterns lets us open new doors, and I am all about that right now in Holiday Hell period.
Love your work, just don't always acknowledge it, this is me thanking you for sharing.

It's funny you should talk about preconceived notions of goals. Sometimes we think we know what something is, & we want it (or we think we do), & the closer we get, we see that it's not that thing at all. Sometimes this applies to relationships, too. I don't think I have an answer for myself, except to keep going, because life is full of false starts, dead ends, & misdirections. And that's if you're doing it RIGHT:)

I’m 39 and have realised this in recent years
I wonder if it’s age that brought me this knowledge
or all the podcasts I’ve listened too over the last
Couple of years. If I was to guess I’d say it’s the
Podcasts! I’m from Ireland and you are one of the
Guests on Tim’s show that inspired me.
Looking forward to your book.

Thanks Derek, yes I can relate also. Are you a 'fan' of MBTI Myers Briggs profiling? I say this because INTJ / INTP types may have similar desires, and being <10% of the population you can sometimes feel like you are a bit weird for wanting to seek solitude. But really, its how some of us are built to operate. Any thoughts/sharing on the above would be great. Thanks Derek, -Joe.

Yup, hard to get away from loud shallow Americans sometimes. Resonates.

I can so relate! First to your story and then to your point. Feeling overloaded, craving the deep, inner quiet I associated with meditation, I signed up for a Buddhist retreat. It seemed that deep, inner quiet was not to be had in those meditations. The retreat leader felt compelled to verbally instruct participants through every retreat. I almost left, but I found the conditions I needed for meditation after fellow participants left our sleeping quarters, but, of course there were interruptions, just not nearly as many; and I could at least manage my expectations,there which also helped me find peace. That said, even though I couldn't find silence where I expected it, I did have exactly what I needed; I just had to get creative about identifying it. I'm reminded of an old greeting card that said, "When you can't 'ave everything you want, trying wanting some of what you 'ave. Stick a geranium in your 'at an' be 'appy!

After my wife's passing a few months ago, I needed quiet. The first change was to discontinue satellite TV and give the TV set to charity.

Yes, so much good stuff can be learned from internet sources.

Internet yes, TV no.

Derek

I'm amazed at how much peace and relaxation I get in the half hour before I do a show and it's just me and my guitar.
Thank you for your article

There is no peace better than solitude

The Peace of Wild Things Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For the time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

I've just come back from a remote rainforest I went to to get some solitude. There were many families and children at the retreat (very unexpected). I trusted that God would still speak to me amid the distractions. He did. The phrase you used "untangled goals" rings true. It is very difficult to reach that "quiet place" but so very necessary within the expectations of 21st century living.
Although there are many hindrances and distractions, I don't think it takes too long (within a 24 hour period) , to quieten ourselves and be still, re-calibrate, receive creative inspiration and regroup. However, we must attempt to do this regularly for our own wellbeing.

Great point. Too often we forget what we have and we do run to different places to get or achieve something that we could right at home. Your lesson reminds me of the excerpt from the famed story, "wizard of Oz". Dorothy found what she was looking for"in her own back yard".

Thanks for sharing
Pastor Rev Tina Redden

I like your emboldened line about old dreams/images the best - quite haunting.

Where do our desires come from?

Not the surface habits and the culture we inherit but the deep-down desires? Some say we just desire what others desire.

Derek,
Well Said! From brief responses and loosely following your insights and comments along your path - I am delighted to hear about your need for silence. For me it was the path of simplicity that embraced silence.
Peace & Light,
Alex

you're on the right track Derek;stay true.

I'm perpetually amazed how just the right message always seems to find me at just the right time. I'm sure the odds on that phenomena are tilted severely by a combination of where I seek wisdom and then the personal confirmation bias that follows. However, I am quite grateful (once more) that you often publicly share your thoughts - and after some reflection this morning, it just seemed like I was long overdue for thanking you. Have a blessed day, brother!

Thanks Derek. This article helps inform me that: Weather seeking fortune or solitude, location and reputation are not necessarily the key. For instance, Los Vegas is a mega-gambling city which also has a bohemian food, music and art scene that are far from casino culture. Its as easy to be blind as it is to see..

Hi, Derek,
Your comments are right on! They used to talk about "armchair travel". Used to do that with National Geographic Magazine and various documentarys. Still do, but I don't see so many docs on TV any more 'cuz I gave up TV 4 or 5 years ago when I cancel my cable service. Got tired of paying $80/month for just a wire! Most of my TV I now watch through the Internet.
Anyway, sounds as if you're still striving and still having fun. At this Season, I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

- Marian Kemp

Nice post. I usually experience this when I hear people say "I can't do X unless I have Y." That's a classic tell to distinguish the goal from the procrastination hinder.

My take away is not to wait for the perfect situation to do what you need or want. Do what you desire and the place will create itself (except for that noisy monastery). If you want to be an artist, create art. If you want to be a musician, create music. if you want to be a playwright, write plays. If you want to be a scientist, do science. if you want to learn a language just learn one.

Great Advice, I will try to follow it this year. Just what I needed to hear. THANKS!

Nice story man. Since I meditate daily and teach meditation to others, I frequently get asked “how often you go to an Ashram?” And my answer is never, I have never gone to one, nor planning to go. I learned to meditate at my house, at my job, on my commute on my bike. It is interesting how our preconceptions shape our thinking.

Thanks for the blog post.

Andi at #346 —in my own oversimplified words—tells of made up reasons. I think part of meditations is for letting go of false reasons. Andi talks of letting go of the old and not knowing what to do anymore.

I like the idea that beyond our ego-survival stuff is a state of being in service. For an alcoholic in recovery, that can be as simple as picking up litter in the meeting room.

For me, and I hesitate to give personal examples, using my initiative to be a source of service is a truly fitting lifestyle choice. Like Derek doing his blog not for himself but for us. And I think this lifestyle simplifies and untangles a lot of things for me.

Another gem Derek. I’m currently in South East Asia and often hear people saying ‘this place makes me want to do Yoga’ or ‘I should start meditating’ but as you say the action and the location are not dependent on each other. This is a good reminder of that.

Hello Derek, I don't know if I could do this. I am so used to having people around and chatting all the time. I would probably appreciate it if I could get it. Although I don't know when that would happen! I am glad you were able to get away and enjoy a quiet time. Maybe next year when my daughter finishes her studies and gets a job away will work for me.

Great read Derek, this is great

100% agree. I loved that you made the choice to leave once you realized the situation wasn't fitting.

Well Derek if you were in Ireland you really should have come down to West Cork - lots of places where you can get away from everything, I have had friends stay with us & complain 'how quiet it is'. I deliberately live here to be away from being surrounded by people obsessed with the latest phone etc. My wife and I have decided 2018 will be the year of no travel - we have everything at our doorstep - beautiful scenery, great coast, great fishing & kayaking waters, great walks etc.

Nice post - next time in Ireland you need to give West Cork a try ☺

I liked it.. But I was searching if I can get a video related to it ...... I would be thankful to you.

Great post Derek. It makes me think about the challenge of seeing things how they are, instead of how we perceive them or think they should be.

It's so easy to build imaginary barriers that keep us from our goals. Tearing them down isn't easy, but this post provides a powerful head start.

Thank you, Derek, for another wise, thoughtful (and surprising!) post.

A bit of perspective. I have done many, many retreats at Cistercian monasteries (not for religious reasons, just personal ones, like you, the search for silence and peace and time to reflect).

Most people who attend these are there for the same reason. They don't go to socialize, but specifically to get away from that. Sad that this wasn't the case for you there. But great in the end for the experience and revelation (for yourself) and the post (for us).

My takeaway: "We have old dreams. We have images we want to re-create. They’re hard to untangle from the result we really want. They become excuses, and reasons to procrastinate."

Thank you again, and here's to the silence when we need it... and new ways of discovering everything else.

(PS: I worked with/for John Cage in the 1980s, and learned a great deal about silence from him!)

Dhamma.org -- a free 10-day meditation retreat with over 170 sites around the world. I did my first 10-day Vipassana in March of this year. What a rewarding experience... I hope you continue to find peace in every moment.
Value your breath.
Peace,
Sofia

So true! Some folks get caught up in all the "stuff" surrounding a hobby, sport, activity you want to do or try. Sometimes it's just finding the right time and space, and as you say, being resourceful. Look at the resources around you and how you can make use of them. I find that's also part of the creative process.

Right on the nose, Derek! Thanks for sharing! Merry Christmas!

Maybe I'm just hard-headed, but my mental associations connected with my goals never turn-out to be even close to accurate. It seems the associations are images I have from non-me examples of people I think have achieved what I want. The miss seems to be knowledge of what my goal will really look like on me. So the associations are distractions. In other words, I agree.

Thank you.. lovely thoughts.. agree so much.. I live a few months of the year in India.. no I don't live in an ashram, I work with an NGO doing water harvesting for the farmers...its a great place to disentangle from old ideas and old pictures of reality. I live in a simple way and interact with those around me through the limitations of no real shared language.. but the reality is that I am reflected back to myself in every moment. It helps to break down the old dreams.
Silence of being in a place where all that is spoken around you is generally not understood is quite special.
Shazar

What a truthful lesson. I too, had found myself looking for the extravagance to fit a certain role, or to fit the part of an "owner of a business" whatever that truly means. I've come to grips with realizing there's no one to impress, push yourself to your limits, and forget "needing" the praise of others to keep you going.

"It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations." -Derek Sivers

I couldn't agree more, the real goal, should be something you can start now, without any additional finances, gadgets or gizmos. Now is the time.

Hey Derek
This may seem stupid.
I sence your urgency to connect to the world.
To sit in silence and waite to hear something majical.

I did some recordings with Mr Hatfield one of our famous Canadian astronauts.
While we sat in silence checking out the sound Booth he told me it's not as quiet as space. Then he laughed and said I can't hear my heart beat.

But I think what your looking for is not that kind of silence.

I'm thinking you need to venture into the deep woods of Northern Ontario to find the trainquillity & harmony.The sole searching your looking for is Perfect Nature calling you.

Peace out
Robert Irving

Loved it! Thanks for sharing Derek.

Love reading this! This is how my husband and I carry on as well. We do things with the underlying philosophy: "start before you're ready." We didn't go to school or pay out the ear for tutors to teach us our skills to help us get to where we want to be--we taught ourselves with the information that is already out there in the world. I also relate to this in that I've been able to find my own free time at my own job, which I'm really happy about. It helps me to think clearly about where I'm at and what I want to do. And it gives me time to look up and learn about things I normally wouldn't have time for otherwise. This reminds me also of how many "successful" people get asked "where do you start to get to where you are?" Their replies are usually pretty simple. Things along the lines of: "just.. start working on it! Work with what you have and focus on getting it done." Thank you for posting this. :)

Derek- once again you have such valuable food for thought. Thank you for sharing it with the world.
I wish you and yours all the best in the new year and beyond.
TG

Derek,

thank you for this!

take care

Just like in music, sometimes silence is the best melody. With busy lives, and plates full of more projects than we know what to do with, it easy to become overwhelmed and remain in a vortex of distraction. Well, that vortex is going somewhere and it's not healthy. Silence, and taking time alone is very healthy and very important. I don't think many realize it's importance, to recenter your mind; regain focus and perspective. I appreciate your experience here and the insight as well. I strive to end up with that one thing that truly sustains me and makes me happy, rather than a bucket full of things.

Be well my friend.
Erik

Thanks! perfectly timed, my friend. Next time you're in Boston say hi.

Thanks, Derek. As always, I appreciate and learn from your insight. There are handful of things I try and emphasize with my kids and resourcefulness is one of them. Always good to get additional affirmation that I'm not messing them up too badly :) Keep up the great work man!

Totally agree with you on the part where you say you can't stay without solitude and silence,I am the same so much so that i changed my sleep time from 11/12 am to 6:00 am just to meditate,write and think with the calmness of midnight

Happy New year Derek. The noise in the monastery must have been disappointing. Solitude is not so easy no matter where you think you should go to get it. If you mean solitude from external noises there are as you have said places you can go to without travelling halfway across the world. Its more difficult to try to silence your mind sometimes unless you go somewhere where the sounds of birds or animals or a waterfall can draw your attention away from the chaos of the mind. About learning languages like learning anything else of interest, I find it needs continuous effort, or else you forget what you learned. There is so much one can also learn from the experiences of others. Thank you for your wisdom and experiences.

I have the same need for solitude (which I can find in my own home) and I concur with all your observations. My wife and I share this need and we find it in different rooms or places around us.

That said, the experience of BEING in the LOCATION is immeasurable. As Ross Cozens' friend for many years, his world travels are enviable (but beyond my circumstances and responsibilities). I traveled vicariously through his eyes to places I'll never visit.

Solitude can be found everywhere. Just step away from the crowd for whatever time is available. Walking is my favorite way to find solitude; whether its a street in Bad Soden, the Cliffs of Moher, a Bombay street at dawn or the Cuyahoga Valley National Park.

I'm now old, which makes solitude friendly and easier to find. Gone is the search for things unattainable.

Wow .... that's a wonderful piece ..... I learnt something new

Spot on read.. I can relate to the need for quiet and peace. Just to let your mind re-boot so to speak but there is a need for human connection that will find it's way out of the dark recesses of your mind and soul once the quiet becomes too loud. As far as education,I've found some of the most basic lessons learned aren't at a College or in a book or a lap top but just life lessons that find their way to you when you least expect it

"...separate the real goal from the old mental associations."

Well put. This is a goal in and of itself.

Thanks for provoking these thoughts, Derek! Yes, we do not need special "places" to do what we want to do. It can be everywhere. Intention and strong will is needed to start what we have postponed since years. And a "push" from the reality sometimes...Plus, sharing with someone. Things do not matter much (achievements, success, etc) if you do not share them. At least with one person on the Planet.
Happy and healthy new year! Continue to share with us and insipre us!
☺

True. True. Thank you for the reminder.

I've lived my life making the best of what I have. That being said, if you have the opportunity to get the best, to have the best and to work with the best, don't be afraid to take it. Jump at every opportunity you can. I feel there is also the other edge of the sword of being so used to the DIY bare bones of doing things that you fear taking the risk of getting out of your comfort zone. When you wrote that you were planning on being alone and you went to this monastary only to find more people to come in contact with. In my mind I'm thinking, "okay, this is not what I wanted, but maybe there is something I need from this, and I'm going to give it a couple of days and see if there is someone or something that can add to my life experience." I'm a believer in Providence. But, you didn't give it a chance and just split. Also, I feel most people don't learn the languages they want to learn in the land the language originated because they don't have the money, the time, or some other reason. Studies have shown that the more emersed you are in something the easier, and quicker it is to learn and adapt. I also think that people go to Thailand to meditate or India to yoga because they want the experience of taking part in those activities in those specific locations to know the experience because it enhances there life journey. Plus, if they have the means and are fortunate enough to travel to those countries, they have probably been meditating or doing yoga for some time, and are probably proficient at it. Like a martial arts expert or devout student wanting to go to China or Hong Kong to study in the same place Bruce Lee studied. My point is make the best use of what you have in front of you if it helps you achieve your goal, but don't stop thinking big, wanting big things, taking immediate action if you have the opportunity to grow and expand, and take some time to find out if when you run into the unexpected that there is some blessing there for you before you change direction.

Sir I am from karnataka state of Indian country I want read books and learn lot of things and specially I want some suggestions from you, how to develope and broaden our knowledge I am regular follower of your website derick severs, I want to understand life and I want to grow kindly mail me from the way you thought regarding me and what are the actions should I take to grow and broaden the knowledge and experience

You've done it again. In your own inimitable fashion, you took a serious topic , mixed in some humor , and taught a valuable lesson. Kudos !

Hymns To The Silence. VM

So thankful for your insight.
Rock it Amadeus.

Praia do Rosa é um lugar muito bom pra se visitar e renovar as energias, com muita natureza, trilhas, lagoas e um mar lindo de águas cristalinas...
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gostei das dicas, muito valiosas!
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"............................................................................................................................"

Thank you for the pointer to the iPhone course. That has led to other courses that could be worthwhile.

Ah! The joy of quiet!

During the nine months I spent at the Buddhist monastery at Muir Beach, I had to habitually head for the ocean or the hills to get the solitude I needed. Sounds like an insufferable hardship right? Yes, am having to be very resourceful these days...perfection is not an option, nor ever is...

Muito importante ter um tempo do dia para meditar

Ótimo artigo!

Gostei muito de sua postagem

Todos precisamos de um tempo sozinho.

I was homeless for about a week in 1999. I ran away from home. Well, actually I drove away in my shitty 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera. I packed all my clothes up into that car... which was later stolen from me... Then I returned home to my parents.

Today, I am the CEO and Founder of ADED.US Music Distribution. Created in 2012, there are now over 100,000 music industry folks and music fans connected to us across the board.

As always, I enjoyed your musings. There is always one thing in your articles that hits me particularly. In this case, it's your reference to "We have old dreams." How very true. Thank you, Derek.

My own home has solitude.

As I type this my refrigerator is quiet. Having moved my rocking chair, I am sitting next to the fridge, with my clothes dryer on the other side of the wall behind it. From my nearest ear, I can hear wind whistling and howling through the dryer exhaust vent. This is the first time I have ever noticed.

I should add that from my farthest ear I can hear the more usual sounds of the building shift and the wind gathering in a rush outside my window.

It is dark outside, early morning, and everybody is still asleep.
Such a nice description! Thanks Sean! — Derek