Full disclosure — I’m not a fitness guru or professional health expert. In fact, like a lot of people out there, I spent a large portion of my life pretty clueless as to what it even means to be healthy or fit. When I was younger, I thought I was those things because other people described me as such. (Translation: I was slim, could fit into all the tiny little clothes that were trendy at the time, and was considered relatively attractive by society’s standards.)

I thought that because I wasn’t overweight or sick, there was nothing wrong with any of my habits. This was despite the fact that I didn’t have a regular exercise routine or any sort of structure to the way I ate. Eventually, though, simple aging and changes to my professional routine — like going from working on my feet all day to sitting in front of a computer all day long — did lead to consequences like weight gain and additional health issues.

By the time I hit my 40s, my body wasn’t just calling me out on all my bullshit. it was screaming in my face that something needed to change and fast. I was definitely overweight at that point, and probably on track to becoming obese at some point. I had no energy and felt like absolute garbage every day. I really missed feeling happy, alive, and like I could trust my body to do what I needed it to do. So I did something about it.

Cut to three-and-a-half years later. I’m 45 years old, in the best shape of my life, and steadily making additional progress every single day. I’m healthy, sharp, and strong. I’m happy and mentally stable again. I look and feel a lot younger than my years. In fact, I can do things at this age that I couldn’t do even when I was in my 20s.

I’m also still very much an average person. I never became a gym rat and I don’t obsess over calories. I like lazy Sundays, and movie marathons, and the occasional slice of cake. I write for a living on a full-time basis these days, so I remain someone who’s on the computer a lot.

But my overall approach to life is very different now. I certainly have a fitness routine and make it a point to maintain good habits overall. However, they’re sustainable habits that I’ve been able to grow with and will continue to for the rest of my life. Here are a few of the ones that make a difference for me every day.

1. I keep a sleep schedule that actually works for me.

Your mileage may vary, but I personally have zero fitness-minded friends who don’t swear by getting up at the crack of dawn every day, if not before. I never managed to become a member of that crowd.

I don’t like mornings. I never have, and I sincerely doubt that I ever will. I’m a massively introverted writer who’s at her best in the late afternoons, evenings, and late nights. I’m good for nothing before 10 o’clock in the morning, and yes — I’ve repeatedly tried to change that about myself and failed miserably every time.

And I was never a very good sleeper. Ever. I’ve always been the type of person who wakes up at least once in the middle of the night, so I’d long ago labeled myself an insomniac and left it at that. But part of my decision to take control of my health was about learning to listen to my body better, so I decided to try working with my body’s natural approach to sleep instead of against it.

Don’t be afraid to experiment a little if what you’re doing isn’t working. It could be that your body and mind prefer something less conventional.

After some experimentation, I realized that I’m not really an insomniac. My body is just naturally wired to prefer a biphasic sleep schedule. (Not surprising, considering my father preferred to sleep that way, as well.)

These days, I don’t “go to sleep at night” so much as I take two really long naps every day. The first starts between 11 PM and midnight and ends at 3 AM. The second starts at 6 AM and ends around 10 AM. (I allow myself to wake up naturally after that second phase — no alarm.) I don’t have trouble sleeping anymore when I do it at those times. I also wake up feeling fully refreshed and functional now, something that pretty much never happened prior to my making this change.

That said, everyone’s different as far as how and when they sleep best. If you already know you’re at your best sleeping eight hours straight and waking up with the sun, then by all means keep doing that. But don’t be afraid to experiment a little if what you’re doing isn’t working. It could be that your body and mind prefer something less conventional.

2. I get my workout done immediately after waking up.

I’m a relatively busy person, so I’ve had a lot of trouble consistently finding the time to establish a proper workout routine in the past. I run a copywriting business from out of my home, which naturally takes up a lot of time and energy. I care for my elderly mother. I’m also happily married and want to stay that way, so I have a relationship I work hard to maintain.

Finding “spare time” to work out wasn’t easy, and really, it still isn’t. That’s exactly why I stopped treating my workouts like something to do “when and if” I can find the time after handling everything else I have on my plate. Instead, I started treating exercise like what it should have been all along — another priority that belonged right there on the list alongside meeting my work deadlines or making my mother’s lunch.

That means I set a scheduled time to work out that never changes no matter what — a time that coordinates well enough with the rest of my household’s schedule that I won’t be disturbed or distracted. For me, that time is right when I first get up at 10 AM. (I live in a household full of night people, so believe it or not, I’m the first one up for the day at that time.) I do this every single weekday, rain or shine without any exceptions — not even for holidays.

Working out first thing has proven to be a fantastic way to start my day. It helps me wake up better and become alert significantly more quickly than I would otherwise. It gives me that “hell yeah, I’m so productive” feeling right away. It also gives me a guarantee that my workout will always get done, as there’s zero chance for anything else to come up suddenly or otherwise encroach on my exercise time.

And, really, I would recommend that anyone who has trouble making the time to work out at least try doing it first thing after waking up. But you should do whatever fits your lifestyle, preferences, and schedule best. Generally speaking, the best time to set aside for working out is the patch of time in your day when you’re least likely to be interrupted.

3. I choose exercises I actually enjoy.

I effing hate working out at a public gym, and I am talking hate with a capital H. I don’t much like spending a lot of time around people I don’t know, nor am I comfortable with being watched or potentially stared at, especially when I’m exercising. I don’t drive, either.

In other words, having to get to a gym before I can even think about exercising is already a huge deterrent to my actually getting it done. Add that to the very real fact that I need to be available at home a lot because of caregiving responsibilities, and “hitting the gym” officially becomes an unfeasible pain in the ass for me. Plus, as I said, I just plain hate gyms, and I didn’t ever want to associate staying fit with hating anything about my life again.

I like exercising at home, so that’s what I do for the most part, especially when it comes to my weekday morning workouts. I currently use an elliptical machine, a stationary bike, and a set of resistance bands as far as equipment goes. I also do bodyweight exercises like squats, push-ups, and planks. (My workouts are about 90 minutes long on average these days and involve rotating sequences of combined cardio and strength-training exercises.)

I didn’t ever want to associate staying fit with hating anything about my life again.

I also try to incorporate additional activities into my routine where it makes sense to do so to keep things interesting. I do a lot of household tasks that build strength and help me work up a sweat. I also like working in the yard with my husband, as well as taking the occasional walk (although I haven’t really been doing that very often lately). One day, I’d love to get back into hiking and cycling on a regular basis, as well as perhaps take up jogging, but those are considerations for another day.

My point is it’s so important to enjoy (or at least be able to tolerate) your workout routine. Otherwise, you’ll always struggle to stick with it, and you may never reach the point where you can genuinely say you like working out the way I finally can these days.

4. I adopted an intuitive approach to eating.

When I first started my fitness journey a few years ago, I was extremely unhappy with the amount of weight I’d put on and wanted it gone. But I also knew that my relationship with food needed a lot of work, so another heavy-handed, extremely restrictive diet didn’t sound like the healthiest idea.

I needed to do something, though, so I decided to try intermittent fasting, and that worked very well for me, especially in the beginning. I was creating the calorie deficit I needed to start chipping away at the weight, but I also felt like I had the energy I needed to sustain my workouts and power me through my workdays. And most importantly of all, I was still eating real food and walking away from the table satisfied, so I never felt like I was on the verge of triggering some kind of eating disorder like I always had when I dieted in the past.

But as I got stronger, built muscle, and lost fat, I’d frequently have days when I couldn’t comfortably make it all the way through my fasting periods anymore without a problem. That was the point where I started transitioning to a more intuitive approach to eating, and that’s worked out even better.

Intuitive eating is all about relearning how to trust your body to tell you what it needs and when — something I knew I eventually needed to do if I was serious about getting healthy, especially mentally. I started incorporating light breakfasts and sensible snacks back into my eating schedule when I felt like I needed them. Some days I’m not as hungry and feel like I need less, so I fast or keep it light on those days. Other days, I feel like a treat, so I go ahead and have one. I eat when I’m hungry, and I stop when I’m satisfied, even if it means not eating everything on my plate.

I feel great physically and mentally since I’ve switched things up in this way. It’s been easier to meet my fitness goals and genuinely enjoy my meals. I also have a much better relationship with food these days, and I’ve developed a significantly more respectful relationship with my body — things I truly wish I’d done a long time ago.

5. I keep stress to a bare minimum.

At this point, it’s pretty safe to say I’ve broken up with the mindset that you have to be busy every second of every day to properly earn your right to exist. Yes, I’m still a fairly busy person, as I do have responsibilities and enjoy feeling productive, but I don’t do the 24/7 hustle thing anymore. It was making me sick and killing me slowly, just as surely as my formerly sedentary lifestyle was.

I have set work hours now that I expect my clients to respect. They’re also much shorter hours than I used to keep — about four to six hours a day depending on my workload, instead of eight or ten-plus. I take weekends and holidays off without exception now — not just from work, but from the pressure to “do something productive” period. When I can’t immediately solve a problem or remove an obstacle, I put it away for later instead of stressing myself out over it regardless.

A healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.

I don’t rush through dinnertime anymore. I sit and talk or play cards with my husband outside for a little while afterward instead of dashing straight back to my office to finish my day. I make room in my day or week for activities I enjoy, that relax me, or that mean something to me, like foreign language studies or reading. If I feel the stress screws starting to tighten, I deliberately schedule my itinerary on the light side for a while until I feel better. I celebrate little victories and take the time to appreciate simple experiences, too.

You’d think shortening my work hours and spending so much less time in my office would have made me less productive, but the opposite has actually been true. I’m getting more done than I used to, and I’m getting it done more quickly. The quality level of my work is way up from where it used to be. I’ve even found my way back to loving my work the way I did when I first started my writing business years ago.

That’s because a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.