4 Essential Sales Skills

We All Sell

Sales is often considered a dirty practice. Most people associate it with a slick car salesman who employs a bunch of high-pressure tricks to get you to agree to something you can’t afford, don’t need, and don’t want. While this sort of situation certainly exists, it doesn’t have to be the norm. I have found sales to be a fun, empathetic practice that brings forth new economic growth and meaningful relationships.

You might think that selling is something that you aren’t involved in. In Daniel Pink‘s seminal book “To Sell is Human“, he points out that we all sell all the time. How did you negotiate TV viewing with your significant other the last time you decided to stay in and watch Netflix? There was probably a conversation about needs, wants, and a final compromise on what would be acceptable to all parties. That’s sales! It’s the process through which two parties reach an agreement about a mutually beneficial arrangement. We all do it constantly. It sounds like the kind of thing we could all get better at. In my career, I’ve discovered 4 skills each of us can develop to become better at selling.

1. Be Likable

Being likable isn’t actually a question of being. It isn’t like some people are likable and some people aren’t and can never be likable. It is something that can come naturally to some, but it’s also a set of behaviors that anyone can cultivate. In my experience, “likability” boils down to four behaviors:

Listen to understand, not to respond

Much has been written about this point, including a chapter in Stephen Covey’s seminal business book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“. I also appreciate Chapters 4 and 5 of Fred Kofman‘s book “Conscious Business“.

Stay engaged with the conversation (by removing distractions)

When I’m in a sales meeting (or any meeting for that matter), I shut down Slack, close messaging apps, and turn my phone on DND mode. I want to be able to focus on the person in front of me. If I open the door to being distracted by these other communication mediums, I don’t feel I’m respecting the other person by valuing their time.

Show empathy

Most of the time, people come to Atomic because they need help. They have a problem and they think technology is the answer, but they don’t have the first idea of how to move forward. When I connect with them, I see a person in need of help.

My goal during the call is to show empathy. Research professor Brene Brown has spent decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She describes empathy as “simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.'” Imagine if that were what a sales call was like? Even if a potential client isn’t a great fit for Atomic, I try to find ways of helping within the bounds of a phone call. Are there people within my network that might be a better fit? Is there knowledge and experience I have that I can share that might help them to reframe their problem statement and consider more possible solutions?

Ask hard questions

Hard questions seem at odds with empathy, but they are actually the other side of the likability coin. Imagine empathy that doesn’t challenge us to consider other options. It’s what author and executive Kim Scott calls “ruinous empathy”. You avoid the hard conversation to spare everyone’s feelings. Is that really helpful? Listening to understand and holding space for someone to express themselves is clearly beneficial. But after you’ve done so, you need to ask the tough questions to help the other person move forward.

In the context I’ve posed here, that often means talking about money and timelines. Asking questions like, “What’s your budget for this engagement?”, or, “What’s your prospective timeline for completion of this project?” is one of the kindest things I can do. Sometimes, I go as far as to ask if they’ve considered off-the-shelf solutions that will get them 80% of the way to success. And, oftentimes, I have to tell them that their budget or plan isn’t feasible. Asking these kinds of hard questions and delivering bad news is the kindest thing I can do in that situation.

2. Propose an Agenda

It’s amazing how often we ask for time from people and we show up without a clear agenda for the time. The agenda doesn’t have to be complex, accurate, or precise. It’s often just a guide. The conversation could go spectacularly well without the agenda. But if it doesn’t go well, the agenda can get us through the conversation. And at an early stage sales meeting, the conversation can be vague and amorphous.

It’s much like if we took a hike in the woods without a map. On a clear day in known territory, that can go great. A map is probably overkill. But if the hike is in a new area and the day is foggy… you better have a map and compass. If not, you could find yourself walking in circles for hours.

An agenda in a meeting is there for when things don’t go well and we veer off-track. It’s the guide rails that get us pointed back in the right direction.

3. Take Notes

Taking notes in a meeting is my least favorite thing to do. I find it distracting because I feel like I’m listening to record, not listening to understand.

However, taking notes is also one of the most empathetic things I can do. By doing so, I’m gathering information for another member of the team. Additionally, I’m noting details so the person in front of me doesn’t have to repeat all this again. I see myself creating a foundation of knowledge on which we’re going to move forward building a relationship that will lead to mutual gain.

4. Set Next Steps

When a meeting ends, you always want to know where it’s going next. This gives you security that the conversation with the other party is moving forward. It also gives the other party an understanding of what they need to do next to continue toward what they want to procure.

Conclusion

I hope you find space in your life and work to cultivate these skills. It will make you a better salesperson, but it will also make you a better person.

What sorts of skills do you practice regularly that help you in sales and everyday negotiations? How do you drive alignment in your relationships at work and at home?