Dear Javascript, "this" isn't working

this isn’t working.

When we first met, I was so excited. You were fun and easy to get along with . I told all my friends you were Java. We hit it off. Slowly at first… actually, really slowly . You may not have had class , but at least you had standards . Things eventually got… asynchronous . Bandwidth was tight, but it still felt like we were on the same page. I will always remember the first time we loaded individual elements together, instead of complete pages. With some help , even Internet Explorer seemed to be on board.

We stayed up late at night, holding requests for what felt like hours. You took it to 4 billion places I never thought it could go. In my mind, you had no equal . People thoughtwe were crazy. I could hardly await to escape callback hell because with you, nothing was out of scope . We prototyped one great framework after the next, never stopping to wonder why.

Then you started to let yourself go. You changed a lot . You became harder to talk to, blocking requests and blaming CORS . We had to use strict rules for communicating. Sure, you got class , but somehow even that was not quite right . Now there are too many frameworks and we have to let some go .

Do not get me wrong, there were Good Parts . But I hardly recognize you in the browser anymore. You are a transpiled, minified, polyfilled version of your former self. Several versions later and this is still not working. It is just one broken, nested Promise after the next. I just don’t want any more arguments .

P.S. You are not Java. You never were Java .