When it comes to success I’m not going to tell you to buckle up and press the gas pedal. To get thicker skin and strategize more. I’m going to share the complete opposite of what popular practice would tell you. If that’s what you’re looking for then this post isn’t for you.

It’s no surprise to hear we live in a world that rewards constant doing. Fast-paced deadlines. 40+ hour workweeks. Constant connectivity.

If you’re anything like me, the minute I acknowledge the exhaustion in my bones I feel guilty for thinking of taking a break instead of pushing through. Many of us have been conditioned to believe the only way to survive in the world is to go hard on masculine energy.

Most articles on success talk about goal setting and habits like it’s an Olympic sport. Intellectual focused with stacks on stacks of strategies. Then we’re conditioned to be cookie monsters of consumption and multi-tasking. We answer emails while we walk, listen to podcasts in the car, and have the TV on while we work.

But what if you’re freaking tired? Or your spirit is craving a slower pace? The world runs on masculine energy. Making you believe you need to hustle, grind, and burnout to have value. There are books, podcasts, and coaching that preach this unholy gospel. But the good news is this isn’t the only way.

If you'd prefer to listen to this post instead of reading it: Apple Podcasts, Spotify

Want to read this story later? Save it in Journal.

Why we’re afraid to do nothing

According to a new report from the World Health Organization working long hours is a leading cause of death from heart disease and stroke. They said, “The study concludes that working 55 or more hours per week is associated with an estimated 35% higher risk of a stroke and a 17% higher risk of dying from…heart disease, compared to working 35–40 hours a week.”

Yet some people feel they don’t have a choice. Ask any lawyer or professional that bases their whole business model on how many hours they bill clients. even those in corporate positions feel their job is at risk if they don’t seem busy. There’s a constant pressure to always be doing something.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that our inherent value needs to be earned. Our worthiness hustled for. Then there’s the power we give to the internet and social media platforms. Being on the internet and having an online presence has become synonymous with relevancy.

New York Times bestselling author and computer science professor, Cal Newport says that by embracing not being on the internet you’ve marked yourself, as cultural critic Neil Postman would say, “Invisible and therefore irrelevant.” Businesses that don’t adopt social strategies are seen as archaic and behind the times. Our culture is internet-centrist. So now, most people believe constant connectivity is a necessity. A survival mechanism. But, this way of living is doing more harm than good.

Why doing nothing matters

Sue Smalley, Ph.D., a behavioral geneticist, writer, and activist says, “It’s not surprising that rates of depression, anxiety, and stress are increasing as the doingness of life seems to have little counterbalance.” We’re not robots who can hammer away without slowing down. We need more moments of stillness and rest. It’s a particular necessity if you want to be more creative.

To address this idea of counterbalance, it’s important to know the difference between masculine and feminine energy. They don’t represent masculine and feminine as a gender but as two energetic sides. Similar to yin and yang. Every person alive has both energies within them and often gives more attention to one over the other. Which causes an imbalance.

When there’s an imbalance you may not feel valued, nurtured, or appreciated. You’ll feel tired, stressed, overworked, and unloved. In order to reverse the effects of this energetic damage, you need to counterbalance it.

Sue Smalley, Ph.D., behavioral geneticist, says, “Science is starting to show the value of spending time in silence, in nature, and in not engaging in constant external stimulation…We need time doing ‘nothing’ to be our best selves: well-rounded and creative human beings. The ‘doing’ side of our nature needs a ‘being’ side to be in balance.” This aligns really well with Deepak Chopra’s guidance to incorporate silence, stillness, non-judgment, and nature into your life every day to stay spiritually well.

Brian O’Connor, Ph.D., Full Professor and Head of the School of Philosophy at University College Dublin and author of the 2018 philosophical essay Idleness, said we might be a bit happier if we stopped obsessing over making something with our talents and embraced more idleness instead. When you’re idle it leaves room for your mind to wander which boosts creativity, innovation, and problem-solving.

Idleness doesn’t mean getting on your phone or watching television. Not even reading a book. A hard one for me. Those passive activities don’t allow your mind to wander. For that, you need moments of non-consumption.

You also don’t want to force idleness. Making it another thing to check off your to-do list. This adds more pressure which is the opposite of what you’d hope for. So go easy at first.

Let the stillness happen naturally. Maybe you listen to a full album while lying on the couch or floor. Maybe it’s taking a 15-minute walk. Then you can ease your way into nothing. Here are some more ideas for adding more nothing into your life.

How to do nothing

1. Don’t schedule every second of your day.

Allow breathing spaces. Not everything on your to-do list is created equal. The goal here is to only give time to what’s truly important then scrap the rest. Multitasking is a myth. Prioritize your wellbeing first, schedule only the top 2–3 priorities, then leave time slots open in your calendar.

2. Schedule your non-negotiables into your schedule FIRST before work obligations.

Things like morning routines, workouts, stop times, health appointments, etc. If you’re working for someone else and must have your time dictated to at least block off one-hour lunches every day in your calendar and don’t let anyone schedule time with you then. Time can’t be replaced so be as conscious and intentional about it as possible.

3. Create a hard stop time for working.

A great way to shut down every day comes from Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. He suggests wrapping things up at work every day by closing your laptop or cleaning your desk then saying, “Shut down complete”. After which you don’t allow your mind to think about work again until the next day. I like to take an end-of-day walk after that since I’m working from home. It helps me wind down and make that transition.

Don’t worry if work thoughts float in your mind. Just let them keep passing through and lightly acknowledge them but go back to do nothing.

4. Write a well-being list.

Have one on your phone or written in a journal so if you find yourself finishing work early or have an hour free up you can pick one or two things from the list. On mine, I have things like take a walk, cook a good meal, eat lunch without any distractions, and more.

5. Think of what you used to do as a kid when you were bored.

I used to lay on my bed during sweltering Tucson summers and listen to a cd from beginning to end. Catching every background vocal and instrumental. Those were some of my favorite years. And I wasn’t doing multiple things at once.

Try to compare how things make you feel now to those simpler times. Work on doing more things in your life that make you feel the same way so you can start feeling that freedom again. Let me know in the comments if you had any inspiration after reading this post or what you would add!

Join thousands of others and download my free morning routine guide to start your days with peace and alignment.