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The 12 Bugs of Christmas - A Software Developers' Version

 4 years ago
source link: https://fuzzyblog.io/blog/humor/2019/12/11/the-12-bugs-of-christmas-a-software-developers-version.html
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This isn't mine but it was forwarded to me via a group chat and, in it, I found a deep, profound and abiding truth:

1. For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • See if they can do it again.

2. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

3. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

4. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

5. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

6. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

7. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

8. For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Find a way around it
  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

9. For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Blame it on the hardware
  • Find a way around it
  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

10. For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Change the documentation
  • Blame it on the hardware
  • Find a way around it
  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

11. For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Say it's not supported
  • Change the documentation
  • Blame it on the hardware
  • Find a way around it
  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

12. For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:

  • Tell them it's a feature
  • Say it's not supported
  • Change the documentation
  • Blame it on the hardware
  • Find a way around it
  • Say they need an upgrade
  • Reinstall the software
  • Ask for a dump
  • Run with the debugger
  • Try to reproduce it
  • Ask them how they did it and
  • See if they can do it again.

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