Haha! Love your story! Today.
Please keep writing.
Best,
Geisa Dutra

Hi Derek,
I like this..Today
☺ — Derek

How I felt about the replacements.

Tom Waits was a genius in his way. But, hell, what do I know, I love Zappa!

Never thought I would prefer to be less busy. For a while now - and for today - it is at the top of my list. Thanks for the gap in the mania that your stories give me. :)

Ahhh . . . . The Chrysalis Effect . . . cool! :)

I used to hate math, a year ago. I hated it enough to change the course of my college curriculum. Instead of going into Marine Biology, I self-designed my major trying to find areas that involved the least amount of math. I successfully eluded math most of my career until a year ago when I found myself extremely interested in economics. To understand the data behind the models and frameworks provided by economists, I resolved to study math as much as possible. Over the last year, I've sat down for 20 minutes a day studying the fundamentals of math and it's really opened my eyes to a variety of areas I would have never thought possible, mainly topics and issues in the STEM fields. Thank you for this article, very insightful.
Great example! Thanks Greg. — Derek

I was struggling to find an animator or video producer for a recent music project, but it just never quite worked out. A few weeks ago, I found a cool tool that helped me put together video for the song ABC Jobs from my latest project. My point, I love PowToon today.

ABC Jobs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3v-yuVT0Vk
Dream it. Believe it. Pursue it. Achieve it.

I hope you love my song/video at least for today XD

I think that is all part of growing up but I don't believe in making immediate opinions , though I have to share the one of you about Waits....sorry Tom.

I absolutely love it and agree!! It's all perspective and once you've walked in a different set of shoes, the world looks entirely different through the same pair of eyes.

I think it was Mark Twain who said that when he was a teenager he thought his father was an idiot, but then just a few years later he was surprised at how much smarter his father had become.

Yep! It's ok to change your mind :-)

can't imagine you 'hating' anything - too full of love, good brother
I still hate olives (today). ☺ — Derek

Great idea to add 'today', Derek. It will help maintain flexibility of our brain, free us from getting stuck in our own belief systems, which truly ARE only temporary.

This is such wonderful wisdom, Derek. I wish this were required reading for all middle school students worldwide. Hey, maybe we can put this on a reading test so that every student reads it. (heh) Seriously, a fine insight delivered with your usual humility and good humor. Thanks.

(or love!) may be the most poignant part of this wonderful piece. Thank you.

Derek, I like your simple, easy-going brilliance. Excellent post!

Derek, I remember when new suitor asked me if I loved him and I replied "Yes, I love you...right now" A year later, when we were recognized as a "couple," feeling insecure one day I asked "Do you love me?" When he replied "Yes, I love you - that's how I feel right now" this did not reassure me at all. I recognized in reading your article that what I "love" and "hate" defines me. To add "today" suspends me in to the not knowing. Into the "you never own anything or anyone" "there is no such thing as security" - it puts me into the Zen Zone. It can be so uncomfortable. Then comes the release.
Ha! I didn't think of that side of it. Thank you. — Derek

Can you not like something after you have liked it? Just like how you can like it after you have hated it?

I now hate many songs I used to love before, and love many songs which I used to hate before.

Works both ways, I guess.

Thanks, Derek.

That's funny. It took me 30 years to get Tom Waits. Once I did, it was straight into total awe of the guy as a creative individual, on a planet all his own.

It's all about context. I, too, disliked Waits despite enjoying the film Down By Law. Just didn't get it until I was working in an office with a couple of guys who played his music, sang his praise. And then we went to one of his shows in NYC. And I understood. That day. And still today.

With regard to music, that which I once hated is what I most often ended up loving.

I still remember those younger years when I detested Janis Joplin and her screechy, scratchy, whiny voice. I would race to shut off the radio whenever I heard her. Then one day, trapped in the back seat of a friend’s car, I was forced to hear an entire song...”Cry Baby”....and I was amazed by the passionate, wailing intensity of her voice. She who I once despised eventually became the female singer I most admired.

Then there was Bob Dylan....upon the first hearing, his untrained, nasal, howl would make me cringe. Then, later, I would be introduced to far more melodic cover versions of his songs, e.g., Hendrix (“All Along the WatchTower”), or The Turtles (“It Aint me Babe”), and that inspired me to return to his original creations. He who I once despised eventually became the male singer whose early works I most admired.

Ultimately, if the performer could move me with his/her heartfelt passion, then the weakness, blemishes, and warts of the singing voice could be excused -- and I think it's unfortunate that today we live in a world in which reality TV trains and conditions audiences to favor only the most mainstream vocals, ideally to be delivered only by the most pretty people. If Joplin or Dylan had arrived on the scene today, I doubt they would have obtained a speck of success.

Of course, there is music I have never much liked and likely never will. I’ve never been a huge fan of the rap or hip hop genre....particularly the overtly consumerist music exhorting its audience to buy bling-bling as a means of raising personal status ....or the notably mindless music that repeats, “f—k, f—k, b—tch, b—tch, n---ger, n---ger,” ad nauseam... but I do respect the existence of that music. Why? Because I recognize that every generation desires to create music that will send older generations racing for the exits. It’s about creating a unique identity...it’s about territoriality, insofar as using music to ensure that older generations stay away from the favorite bars, clubs, restaurants, etc. of the younger generations....because nothing is more infuriating to younger, competitive, men than having middle aged fellows “scamming” on girls half their age.

So what I’ve learned in life is this: everything changes....and you either accept or embrace it.....or you remain a steadfast hater. But, at the very least, you should respect change because there is one immutable Law of the Universe...."change is inevitable."

And I've also learned that established, entrenched, powerful interests constantly work to oppose and undermine those people and ideas that feel threatening to the status quo...and so the more peripheral the person or concept, then the more interested I become in exploring the reasons why they were removed from the radar screen of mainstream society.

Finally, I think there is nothing wrong with opposing certain deviations from the norm because I feel there have been various radical shifts in societal priorities that are genuinely harmful....but, to reiterate, in order to avoid the “old fogey” syndrome, a person must learn that, in life, very few things remain the same.

Always loved Tom Waits. Anybody who can write this is okay in my book ;-).
http://youtu.be/Rdqh0GsXMII (this predates Letterman by at least 6 years).

"Step Right Up"

Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down,
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up

That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up

'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up

That's a great mindset and perspective to have. I'll remember this the next time I go through a phase or tough moment. Thanks for sharing, Derek!

I think we all experience this in our lives and it may seem hypocritical to do so but it really is a maturing of your views. Looking back some of my opinions were just moronic and unfounded. I like to keep as open minded as possible because I know things can change in an instant and I'd like to avoid having "egg on my face" because I was so adamant against something that I ended up loving.

Whoa. I remember seeing Tom Waits on Letterman for the first time. I went out and bought Swordfishtrombones after seeing him do Frank's Wild Years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnwJuA5n8Gc#t=23

...unless you used to hate heroin, slavery, or politics.

TODAY'S...enough!
Thanks Derek!
Rachel

So very true. I love your essays.

You are one interesting and thoughtful guy.

“Just because you believe something was true in the past does not mean it will be true in the future.”
--Jeffrey Fry

I just don't get it. I always come across your posts, usually from HN, they are mildly interesting but in truth, these are obvious ideas for anyone who takes a moment to step outside society, or their ego. But basically any type of free thinking quickly leads to these ideas. Not sure why I'm writing this, just feel irritated by all the blog posts like this that seem to offer some deep insight that is just very surface level and simple ideas to come across in day to day existence.
Heheh... I understand and often agree. Thing is, I don't know what's obvious or not. Since this is just my personal blog, no ads, I'm not trying to drive traffic or anything, I just share my thoughts on whatever. It's out of my control whether people find them useful or not. I do try to keep it interesting, though. — Derek

Every 10 years or so, I would try to eat liver to see if my opinion of it had changed.

Nope. There may be no hope for that one! Haha.

I don't like clarinets much either. I owned a music retail store and everyone had them (easiest thing to learn) and everyone wanted to sell them back once the kid gave up. Time will tell if I find a reason to like them again. ;)
Ha! I'd love to buy a good used clarinet. I miss mine! ☺ — Derek

I think about this often, why we feel constrained to opinions we held in our past. If you stop thinking of yourself as just the latest version of a singular "you" and instead realize that the today you is a whole different person from the yesterday you, then it becomes a lot easier to understand how and why your opinions can -and often should - change.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to hate the Grateful Dead. But I now I still do, only more.
☺ — Derek

Good article. I decided this year that if I'm passionately opposed to something (relatively normal) then there is a good chance of don't understand it.

I hate burning my toast (today), as I read your post (right now).

Funny, I've been going through the same thing lately, but in the spiritual realm. I've stumbled back to what I have hated for more than 3/4 of my life, and have made peace with it. I'm not angry anymore, it wasn't religion's fault.

Fantastic personal account if the wonderful Bhuddist philosophy of "impermance". Even our selves, and our idea and feelings are not permanent, exactly as you've described :)

Another fantastic wealth of knowledge on the magic that is barbell training is http://stronglifts.com

Thanks for sharing Derek!!
Ah, yeah, thanks for the link to that. I meant to link to http://stronglifts.com/ but forgot. — Derek

Really fine topic for a book of such examples. I used to not like Jazz so much and now I'm finding a lot of it that I love--for instance Monty Alexander's "People Make the World Go Round" and "Concierto di Aranjuez from his new Album "The River Runs On" Harlem/Kinston Express Vol. 2 and from Christian McBride's new album 'Out Here" "Who's Making Love' Found them both on Spotify and hope they are making more than just pennies for streamings. AND I am working on a new album at Will Ackerman's Imaginary Road Studio up in Vermont and recorded a version of
Miles Davis' "Nardis" that I wrote words for in French. Jazz. Used to hate it, but no more!!

Be willing to change...and never fasten yourself to any certainty that you end up defining your existence by, because all of this is just an illusion. Beautiful thought Derek! I too am fascinated by the things that I was pretty sure I would never do, or do again, because that was not how I "defined" myself. Funny thing is, only a small part of this definition comes from us. The rest of it is based on the world and how it teaches us to feel comfortable in our skin, no matter what that skin may be like.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

what I find profound about your "hate" realization is that there is so much in life that alters our perspective, our way of being and yet we believe what comes from our thoughts is who we are. For example, I know when I'm sleep deprived I'm extremely sensitive to sound. Suddenly the guy slurping his pho next to me seems inconsiderate and rude, THEN if I can catch myself...I realize my way of being... is altering my perspective and I can be different. This loss of perspective is particularly troublesome when we seem to be losing attentive listening (i.e. listening beyond our ears, but with our entire soul) and unable to recover. Thanks for posting.

Be careful what you hate, for that is what you will surely become. If I could have seen 30 years ago what I would be today, I would have been horrified. Yet I feel pride at my "accomplishments". It isn't what I imagined it to be, and I regard earlier versions of my self as pitiably incomplete. The essential message of your post is to be prepared for change, with awareness that our perspectives are subject to radical reformation. Opinions and beliefs should always be subject to revision, based on new evidence. The ability to contradict former versions of ourselves is a keystone and signifier of personal growth.

Good realization, Derek. Right now, though, a few aspects of an experience I'm having sucks, not the experience on a whole though. However, I feel like I'm learning and even be growing a bit wiser as a result of those few aspects that are undesirable. So, maybe, I'll look back on them in years and say I love them, too. Lol...Right now, though, I've had my fill of them and the end can't seem to come soon enough. :-)

As we age, our life history, culture, music - things that we liked or disliked, become something that we "relate" to and enjoy talking about.

Love this, so true, but I'm still weary of fraud since I too live overseas. There is good and bad everywhere. I try to stay fluid and not become hardened, but sometimes...wow, it's hard not to.

Rick Stone, I used to hate Tom Waits (before today), but that post of yours makes me like what he does, and makes me want to hear more. Thank you!

Hey Derek,

Will keep today in mind from now on. We got to embrace some change. For most people, myself included, the hard part is to admit being wrong about many preconceptions. Such is the beauty of growing. Thanks for sharing!

Right time. Right place. As always.

Yesterday I thought it wasn't possible. Today it's possible. What's possible and not possible is limited by time and willpower. Sometimes we run out of willpower with plenty of time; sometimes we run out off time with plenty of willpower.

the same works in reverse.. the things we love today may not turn us on in the same way tomorrow.. what ever feels good in the present moment usually wins :~)

True story:) And it's actually great hating things if only for the pleasant surprise they were not so bad after all

It gives you a good laugh at the expense of your old stubborn yourself

Hi Derek,
I've found that it's not a good idea to base an opinion or assessment of a person, place, or thing based on one or two circumstances. Not telling you anything you don't already know, but there are goods and bads about everything. For me, there are two questions: 1. Is it worth the bads to have the goods? 2. Are the bads something I'm willing or not willing to allow in my life? The answer to these two questions makes it very simple, and very easy for me to decide who, where, or what I love or hate.

Reminds me of the phrase: "strong opinions, weakly held" :-)
Nice one! I hadn't heard that before. — Derek

It's been a long time since I've been sure enough about anything to hate it. All I really know is that I probably don't know...

At some point in the past 20 years I noticed a pattern. A rule (which of course has exceptions) I seemed live by without ever consciously deciding to do so.

I first noticed it with "new" music. I tend to not like a song the first time I hear it. I have to hear the song at least three times before I adjust to its existence. Some of my "favorite" songs were once songs I had to hear a dozen times.

In the past 10 or 15 years or so I'm realizing I apply this pattern to more than just music.

Two things I don't apply it to, however, are movies and writing. Maybe because they don't get the same airplay, as it were.

Thanks again for an interesting set of thoughts and observations as well as the opportunity to share mine.

I think this should be thought in school! My daughter was struggling with math, and just asking her to move from "I'm bad at math" to "I'm not as good as I could right now" made all the difference. One, that it's not written in stone, and secondly, that what we do and think are choices. So easy and so liberating.

In 1976 at 11 years old I wanted to be a rock star in a band like Kiss. Now I'm a classical guitarist. Time marches on. We never stop changing. For any young people reading this, be very careful about your choice of tatoos. In 20 years it may have little to do with who you are.

It’s OK that I liked pink before and I like red now, but it’s not OK to say to my man “I love you now but I might feel differently later”!

I think by consciously suggesting ourselves that “I like such and such only at this moment”, we train ourselves to become irresponsible and insecure and this can become dangerous.

It’s inevitable that we constantly go through changes in our lives, but we should let them happen naturally and not be conscious about them.

I understand that your point is that “our ideas, opinions, likes and dislikes can change over time.” And this is definitely true and obvious.

Nice! Great to see things from a different vantage point, as we evolve. thanks for sharing your insights!

Thank you for your words. The world needs 'em.

When I was in High School, I had an Art teacher who would sometimes show us slides of paintings. He'd ask anyone to comment on whatever piece we were looking at, and someone would inevitably say, "I don't like it". He would always correct that response by sternly suggesting, "What you mean is, you don't like it YET!"
☺ Nice one! — Derek

I wrote about something similar. http://idiallo.com/blog/2013/08/positive-detesting

I called it positive hate, because even with the things you hate, you can learn something.

I used to hate whatever/whoever was different then my own thinking, I so strongly love that today what I used to hate in the past, I <3 all that is different today and I love it (today)! Thanks!

Well Derek, in days long gone by when Elvis Presley first came to notice, I hated his music and thought he was a Gyrating Jerk and it was not until a couple of years later that I really listened to Elvis and realized the real talent of the man. I now love all things Elvis like millions of other folk world wide.

Good stuff, made me think of Paul Graham's 'Keep Your Identity Small'
http://paulgraham.com/identity.html

I used to hate board games, but I've come to realise there's a lot of interesting ones out there today (see, for example, http://boardgamegeek.com/ )
Nice link! Great article. Thank you. — Derek

A great read, thanks for sharing (and making me think about it). It is so easy to judge and compare things to your own ideas and beliefs.

In the same vein, I've learned to modify the word "never" in a statement to be "Up to this point I have never..." There are many things that I've done that I thought I would "never" do. Probably because I thought I would hate them!
Thanks for your always insightful posts. :)

Its funny you mentioned weights because in college I hated squats with a passion! A friend of mine got me into powerlifting where squats was a necessity. I had to squat every week. "Squat till you drop" lol :) As I did this every week I noticed I started to become strong at squatting. It eventually became one of my strongest lifts and a favorite to do :) I noticed that human nature is to not like something we are bad at doing. If we take the time to make our weak points become strong, then perhaps we can grow to love it.

It was Oscar Wilde who said, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” It is good when you can take time over a period of time to find your true thoughts and over time come to the place where you find yourself at that "place".

i am a guitarist and i,ve written a lot about why or are there good guitar instrumental outta there, i mean nurturing story telling long shots..i only know one (not including classical). Yes one.
kundalini yoga Sahdna has songs, Seven in fact that are sung at 4.am every morning with light percussion or guest musicians..its named sound of the naiad..or sound current. the phrasing or language is energised to a frequency..it resonates and is a science and a faith. I spent a workshop in Grenoble with violinists, drummers on the yoga course and yes it was an experience but i despise early mornings so , yes i hated it and loved it.
Again..Pali gap by Hendrix..Slash, santana I guess are close but wheres the 5 minute piece..with all the experience and the name dropping and the leagues of musicians..where is it?

The thing is that some people are so pro something, or anti something that they are too cocky/afraid to admit they changed preference in front of their friends. They're afraid of what people are going to say.
Personally, I've always tried to have a "contextual" approach to it, meaning that with most things I never say I hate them or love them, or that a thing is bad and another one's the best etc. Instead, I'll have an objective view and say that a certain thing is good for certain people, or that a certain object is good at one thing but the other one is also good for other things. You never lose this way.

Interesting, post. I can relate to this. Yogurt is a food that grew on me as an adult. On the other hand, I have found that certain groups I used to adore I no longer do. Sad, but true. They made me.

Words are powerful. hate is one of the most powerful words. It expresses violent feelings. At this time in the world, there are so many hateful people, doing hateful things to other people. There is real hatred out there, hate groups in the USA, for example, having expanded from just a few hundred ten years ago to over 8,000 now (tracked by the Southern Poverty Law Center). I, personally, never use the word, "hate" casually. Detest is a good word. Detest is probably even closer to what most people mean when they say they "hate" something.

Adding "today" seems a good idea for any descriptive phrase about this "I".

"I am a democrat",
"I belong to this religion",
"I am married",
"I think this is a good idea",
"I am a football player"

Adding "today" reminds us of the fact that the "I" is always in flux and that we have the tendency to to believe it is constant.

I feel the same way about Frankie Valli and the Beach Boys among other things. The "cool" earlier version of myself would sneer at some of the things I love/do now. The "cool" version of me wasn't as happy either.

Well I agree in all our experiences, we need to learn more about what we judge. Especially when it comes to other cultures and countries. I have traveled in 20 countries and more than a million miles of earth. Each has its strengths and weaknesses. However love and hate are simply polarities with one source. I suggest going beyond both...to the source! And of course, we create more of whatever we focus on, that's simple spiritual law. In my teachings, I learned that in order to master ourselves, we must work daily making our needs into wants, our wants into desires until our desires are simply preferences. Then we begin to trust a much higher order that's choreographing the dance of life. Then we can begin to glimpse the true nature of reality and experience deep and lasting peace.

Thank you, Derek! For finding out about weight training & sharing it--I knew already. But I didn't realize how great Tom Waits is. Of course I hate his voice today. And can you imagine how I, at 18 when Dylan's second album hit, hated that? !! And then I played it over and over and over. And learned the songs, etc etc. Thanks.

Yes, For years I loved beer (that day) until December 14th 2013. I took a sip and VOOM. Hated it... Stopped all carbonated drinks regardless and since then I've lost almost thirty pounds, Gone back to Dojo ( Aikido ) and my energy is tripled in a positive way. Well said D. !!

Derek, you've got me thinking about Saul of Tarsus and the hatred he felt for those pestiferous "blasphemers" he would later advocate for with zeal.
As a boy, I'd curse the sight of Peggy Lee, as she made an appearance on some TV program. Oh, boy, did I change my opinion on her. We grow and become apathetic to or find displeasing what we loved to eat as children. We develop tastes in food, music, art, and so forth...or at least we ought to if we are really maturing. Now, as a countering example, I give you perpetual immaturity. An symptom of this malady is one's never "un-hating" (my own neologism) and then enjoying what we hated in our green years. I hate that! I'll always hate that!

It's SO true. We all say things like that every day! Thanks for the great post!

Weird how it works, isn't it? I remember hating mushrooms as a kid and now I love them. You wonder how a person can change so dramatically from "hate something" to "love something".

Derek-
I was just working on a similar message for a series of free workshops I'm hosting. It's all about having a growth mindset. If I still believed I hated things I did years ago, I would never have fallen in love with hot yoga, sweet potatoes, reading for personal growth, cooking, etc. It's amazing how much joy you can bring into your life when you open yourself up to new experiences. Thank you for sharing this message, it's very timely and I will be using it moving forward. Hugs to you my friend!

I hope its not every person called Olive Derek... 😁
Yes every time I have said I will never do that.. I have ALWAYS done it.. years later of course.. 😊

Yea Totaly agree and I could look back at the old drama Queen me and cringe. Yep I got hit big time with the crystalis effect.

Great article and I clicked through to the workout article. Very helpful. Thanks Derek

DJ / Virtual tech-smith a Laptop Musician with some new ideas..

https://www.reverbnation.com/djtechdeveloper
and
https://www.youtube.com/user/musictommycarl

Yes, exercise is necessary for the mind and body as is the listening and contemplation of various forms of music. The cosmos is Natures way of displaying that very simple fact. The multitude of forms and sounds of matter out there in light year distances is infinite and with the constant acceleration of space between matter we are not likely to see other forms of life that's not from this planet.

What you hate has control over you. Over time, with repeated exposure, you will learn to accept what you hate. Over time, you will incorporate what you hated into your life. How it is incorporated varies along a scale of like to dislike, but always at some level what you focus on becomes a part of you, familiar like an old friend.

Good morning...This is brilliant... I had a similar experience with 'From Now On..." When my kids were little, I would say things like, 'from now on we are leaving at 9am whether you have your shoes on or not!" Then, then next day, my sister in law called me in tears and leaving at 9am was not so important. Or "From now on - bedtime at 8:30pm" and then that evening would be the 1st night with fireflies and I couldn't pass up enjoying the magical display with my kids. So, my relationship with 'from now on...' has me stop and be kind to myself.... : )

Well done. This addresses several points that are important in our world now.
1) What we observe and relate to emotionally is never a complete structure.
2) Our assessment changes when we notice more
3) Experience instructs, but it does not demand compliance
4) What we needed yesterday is no guarantee that tomorrow will hold the same needs.

In business it is destructive to fall into the "We have always done it this way." mold and it is just as dangerous to fall into "I always think this way" Keynes said when I have new facts I change my mind. The new discovery changes all of our experiences and memories. Just nuance maybe but important. No memory is exactly as it was when it formed.

Sorry this is so long, your article resonated today. Change is everywhere and change changes. We are always learning and changing. Your "Today" limit is worthy.

Great photograph too. I don't know if we can see the change in ourselves every day, but there is a new emergent entity fairly frequently. If only we could forget the early stages more easily.
Best

You are a great teacher - and even better student!

Love the examples. Not so sure abou the "hate today" being your final solution. It's okay for today.

I am learning that love really is the answer. Many foods, activities and a few people I've not yet learned to love. Others I just don't care for.

I want my default setting to be love.

A friend once taunt me with the line "God love them cause I don't" ... I laughed as I heard him strive to make that the only relatively thing he'd say.

Today, I'm more likely to say "God (or their mother) loves them. I want to understand why" as my starting point.

Tom Waite was easy. Gaga was a challenge. I read up on her marketing genius and the music sounds a lot better. Recalling how disgusting Bowie looked the first time I saw his ad in Billboard. Even easier there.

I've been trying hard lately to take the word 'hate' out of my vocabulary. I find it brings such negative energy with it. My heart rate increases just at the thought of saying it.

So lately I don't 'hate' anything. But I still dislike. I'm going to start amending my dislike with today. Thanks, Derek.

It's remarkable that you should address this now.I have someone in my life who is wasting away because of their rigidity of thought.Their body is failing them,shutting down because they won't deviate an iota from obsessive spurious beliefs.Few things more tragic then a padlocked mind.

Derek, great reminder of the benefits of keeping an open mind. Living in Boston would not have worked with a 6 year old and a 10 year old but 13 years later - bring it on! Downsize heaven is waiting for me and Shona!

Good thinking!
It is time to add "Philosopher" to this list: "musician, programmer, writer, entrepreneur and student".

When I was in 10th grade, I watched HOLY GRAIL (Monty Python, of course), and HATED it. By 12th grade, I LOVED it. It continues to be a fave :-)

Almost IDENTICAL experience with disliking TOM WAITS (*hurl*). This changed with "I'm Big in Japan," for me. (Obviously took me a loooong time to appreciate!) Swordfishtrombones, Bone Machine.... Bone anything!

Nice one Derek! I was that way my whole life. Blew off Pink Floyd as druggies until I saw what talent they really have. I too thought Tom Waits was a strange egg until I heard the Night Hawks at the Diner album. Then I realized what a great story teller he is. I have a bad habit of judging before I have the facts. 40% of the time I turn out to be 100% correct. But I am sure glad that I stuck it out the other 60% and learned something from it.

Point taken. Never been fond of Tom Waits. Yet.

Tom Waits on the Fernwood Tonight show was the first time I seen him on TV (late 70's) It was a comedy and I thought he was joking when he sang like that but he was not. He is a very funny man too. Check that out on Fernwood Tonight (later calle America Tonight.
Anyway, Tom Waits taught me that as a musician the sky is the limit and we don't have to model ourselves after all the voices in the music industry that "appear and sound great." Tom is great in his own way despite his raspy and "junkyard" voice. I get it too and it is cool. Much like atonal music. Most people hate it because I don't think they get it.
Every musician can be inspired by Tom Waits. Good thing he never listened to all those who most likely criticized him.

One never knows. That's been my mantra since I was 19 years old.

Like the songs says..."There's a thin line between love and hate."

Awesome! - Fantastic insight. Thanks for sharing.

yep, when i first heard bob dylan's voice… but now i'm all tangled up in blue.

Derek - Whatever you do, stay away from the crunches and sit ups. I developed diastasis recti from that ill-advised exercise, and it's very difficult to repair.

Very good article, and so true!

Nice reminder to stay open-minded. "How do you know your mind if working if you can't change it?" as they say. Flexibility is one of many great things I have learned by being in a band. I had a life-changing experience last year. A friend's funeral revealed a letter he'd written to himself 40 years prior, urging himself to drop whatever he was doing and go do something spontaneous. It made me cry; I realized that although I love my great creative full life, I have left little room for spontaneity. When my 20-yr-old daughter suggested I dye my hair rainbow for Burning Man (it was going to be our first time there) I was internally challenged by my new mantra of spontaneity and my long-held identity. I'd seen bright hair colors in London in 1981, years before it hit the US, and I absolutely KNEW that I would never do that to my hair. I remember it vividly because it was the first time I felt like I was of the older generation - and I wasn't even 25 yet. I prefer everything natural, and to this day don't like the feel, smell, or look of makeup, and fingernail polish gets chipped immediately since I'm a clay artist. It was scary to think about breaking out of the box of my identity. Maybe because I want to be an influence on my daughter, and knew I needed to let her influence me, I breathed my way into bravery (it took me about 3 weeks) and decided to go for it. Mother Nature had done the easy part of bleaching parts of my hair white. So I put 3 colors in: aqua, teal, and fuschia. And then it was scary how much I liked it. But, no mirrors at Burning Man, so I hardly got to see it, but I saw the influence it had on other people. It brings joy. No one expects it on a 56 year old woman; we are usually invisible as the grey crone hair - which I love! - makes us look more alike. Young children, teens, young adult, elderly strangers at the farmer's market - it's amazing who smiles and has to talk with me about the colors in my hair. Long story short, I have kept it up - and increased to 8 colors. It's my little painting I get to do every week or two. I forget that it's there until I see a mirror or someone says something. I have sorta given up the right to be grumpy in public. But that's a good challenge, too.

Highly insightful Derek! I've done this so many times. Sometimes I keep my opinions to myself to see if I could acquire a different perspective on a another day. Even after several years I try to re-approach certain things to see if I can grasp it positively or differently. Since I live with my many different art forms (in my head) I try to look at things objectively through my stand-up comedy third eye (which stretches to infinity when I'm working on material) to my musical side (which is more emotional) as a visual artist (Surrealism) or writer (interpretation, definition) teacher (discipline). I read a lot and I digest a wide variety of topics so this response involves a myriad of areas that require many decisions about what I do and don't agree with. There is another side of me that tries to look at certain topics while walking and sleeping in another artist/persons shoes (I tried "underwear" but it didn't sound right). Eventually I'll ask myself "Is this my ego talking or a defense system, my survival, envy...Sometimes I ask "Do I just have to be "Right" all the time? I am always curious what draws people to a certain artist or inventions especially when it is popular and I'm not interested. Sometimes I just don't get it or agree nor do I change my opinion ten years later. God, I was going to write just one line. Geeeze!

Once again, thanks, Derek. Just one thought for those who still believe or those of you who have slipped away because you just can't buy it anymore. God is change.

Everything is subject to change. There is nothing that stays the same, not even music.

CDBaby was your Great Venue. It is the best thing that ever happened to artists and music. You have a great mind. It is time for you to get another great or greater venue. I think it is time you to do what you love to do.

Blessings always.

Great message. Your thoughts make up your view of the world & yourself, and if we lock them up in our as eternal, unchangable fuxtures in our minds, we're doomed to failure. Your great message: just for today,....flexibility if spirit & opinion

Great post. I often say what was once my prison is now my sanctuary. I am a singer. For years in order to have open and free vocals, I felt my spirit leading me to go into a steam bath and do breath work. I am very purposeful.When I first began the discipline, I would complain in my thoughts - "Lord! People are out having fun and doing things and every day I have to come here and do this meditation breath thing, so my lungs are open and my voice sounds sweet." I feel like I am in a prison! - I pressed on and one day in meditation I realized I loved it, was completely hooked and heard - "What was once your prison is now your sanctuary". This was a great lesson for me when it came to doing things I needed to do but did not want to do. One more relate-able experience for me is that people re- act to my voice when I sing the very same way, you did Derek to Tom Waits. They hate it at first!! Its not been easy when submitting to radio and such... but then folks LOVE IT! Ha ha - I felt the same way the first time I ever heard Neil Young and Elton John and Tom Petty. This gives me great comfort. lol God bless. Thanks for a fun read. Miss Kristin

Good philosophy to incorporate into ones thinking!!

When it comes to art and beauty our tastes can change. New understanding changes the context which changes the results of our decisions. That being said, I can't stand the smell of smoked salmon so I doubt that will change. I will however add today as a reminder to not be judgmental about things that can affect others.

transformation is lovely….. :)

Hardly anyone likes the kind of music I like, or the music I play. Selling it is even harder than selling classical. I don't like most of the popular music, and don't understand why people do. I know they won't change, so I wonder if I need to, in order to become successful. I don't have any idea how to do that. I was probably one of your slowest sellers when you were at CD Baby. Now they have changed, and I don't think I would publish another CD through them. Today, if I had another chance to invest all the time, money, and work I did into music, I would probably put it somewhere else. Maybe I have changed, too. Still trying to learn what works.

Although I keep the word "hate" in my vocabulary, I find that each time I have used it I have told a lie. Even though certain things are extremely displeasurable for me, "hate" is far too extreme and far too absolute for me to accurately assign to any experience that I have ever had. I find it extremely displeasurable when the smell of a neighbor's household trash is being burned in a 55 gallon drum in their yard, and the toxic odors of burning disposable diapers is drifting in my open window on a hot summer night--but if I were to "hate" it, the communication that I would have with my neighbor the following morning would be infused with hatred, and would be less than constructive. If I hate the toxic smoke, it follows that I would hate the source of the smoke--my thoughtless neighbor. Hatred leads us into "RESIST-RESENT-REVENGE" behavior which spirals downward into lose-lose unworkable behavior.

I keep the word in my vocabulary, but I do not see a use for it in my foreseeable future. Most of what I assigned it to in the past was just fear. I can overcome fear easily. Hate, I don't know about--so I just leave it alone.

The way you're handling it by using " Today " after the sentence seems like a good move.

we usually "hate" that which we don't understand. it's human nature. open mindedness is a learned behavior supported by an environment that permits it.

I clicked on the Tom Waits link you provided to learn about this music that resulted in such an emotional response from you. I had never heard of Tom Waits before.
I LOVED IT! It is a fascinating performance of order in the midst of chaos. (Or, is it chaos in the midst of order?) I am impressed by his ability to de-conform something as ageless and resolute as music. Thanks for sharing :)

Derek, Did Tom Waits write this?

Hate is a strong word but I have definitely shifted perspectives on things I really didn't dig just by having someone else show me a new one, or explaining it differently or experiencing it for myself. Being curious is a great state to be in for life, it allows you to be open to all kinds of things

We love where we give.

I agree, but would not actually say "today" at the end of the sentence. I would think it, certainly, and perhaps say something more like "This is not doing it for me right now". One example I can remember which is similar to the Tom Waits thing is when I first say Wim Wenders' film "Faraway, So Close" I hated it (mostly because of the expectations from watching its predecessor "Wings of Desire"). But when I saw the film a few years later, I loved it! I am pretty sure I still love it.

Hi,Derek

Best Regards (thanks)
Jan.

I just said I hated a rapper yesterday. Then my friends told me how nice she was and people I look up to really like her music. So I told myself. Self you need to give her music another chance.
-Great article Derek

The former self is not wrong; it was right in its time.
The overall lesson is to not be a snob. You can listen to Springsteen and you can listen to Electric 6.

Beutifull Dear Derek

This is so great and so true because we are always changing or getting the opportunity to change and grow from our life experiences. We are given the choice to stay with previous conceptions or re-evaluate and re-experience from different eyes. I had a friend tell me once, "I always like to try things at least 3 times, because the first time may suck, the second may be a freakishly bad experience too, but the third time you may discover something truly fantastic." Come to think of it, was that you? :) Cheers to another great post.

It is pleasing to hear these ideas expressed as they are the cornerstone of flexibility. They apply in particularly well to music. Some of the pieces I love most now I hated on first listen. The reasons for this are not always the same. One is that the the material is very complex and developed. At first it sounds like soup but as repeated listens occur the brain mapping process renders all of the hooks and events as well known. This allows the piece to be heard in a larger context which was not available prior, and hooks once put in the subconscious develop greater powers.

A different reason for the disconnect is that the genre of texture is unfamiliar. A classical sopranos voice doesn't resonate, the smooth sounds of jazz aren't automatic, nor maybe the language with its need for recognition of harmonies and other features.

If a listener wants magic from a previously hated music sometimes all that is required is a little bit of work.

As to other activities of life, sometimes our imagined experience is not the same as the real one.

An equally interesting event is when people find that things they once loved are now moved to the hated category.

We are ruled be context and it is not such an easy thing to predict in the future.

.....very compelling thoughts......thank you for sharing!!!

Great post Derek! I've always tried not to judge people. Though I often catch myself out I always remind myself that the amazing world we live in is the way that it is because of an infinite number of moving pieces. Bad things can be formed of good ones and good ones of bad, and it's impossible to predict it all (sure we understand a very small amount of how it all works).

Interesting that you've recently discovered Starting Strength too, I love deadlifts!

Hope you and the family are doing well :-)

You are dead on! I can't deny that I now have an appreciation for things I didn't "get" when first exposed to them. Things that I once considered "corny" are now "cool" and people I thought were "cool" are now...just not in some cases. I think it's a part of maturity. I've become more open...Today :-)

Tom Waits, like many things...scotch, black licorice, fiery women...can be an aquired taste. Thanks for sharing yours. I'd tell you all my secrets, but i lie about my past....

Took me a while, I came to the realization that I really don't know anything. What seems to be a God-given fact will be changed by simple set of parameter adjustments to a lie in absolutely no time. Realizing I need to allow the luxury to change my opinion; the right of choice my only truth.

This also happens to me a lot when it comes to music. I can think of a number of songs over the years that I didn't like at all but eventually got to love them. I have no idea how this happens.

Ah, thank you for reminding me of how I once felt about Tom Waits! It is a wonderful metaphor for how our feelings and tastes change.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was : Never be afraid to change your mind. I try to pass it onto "haters", but mostly I remind my dear old self.

My Mum never let us use the word hate, she said it was too strong and inflexible. I have used that same strategy with my kids and it seems to work! As always thanks for your wisdom

A friend of mine HATED the idea of electronic music festivals for years. Then I finally convinced him to come to one, and he fell in love with them. It's funny how we can allow some anecdotes or bad experiences to cause us to write things off. Nice article.

Love it. Thanks Derek.

Have you heard of Bayes' Theorem? This reminds me of the underlying philosophy behind it.

never says never ;)

You have been around for a while now. Maturity welcomes change. On a lighter note, mammals with this much mileage are much to tough to be eaten.

I completely agree with the sentiment in this article! My opinions are constantly shifting as well. Thanks for helping me recognize that.

To quote Sir Arthur Conan Doyle from "The Problem of Thor Bridge",

"When once your point of view is changed, the very thing which was so damning becomes a clue to the truth."

Exactly how I've been feeling lately, thanks for sharing. I'm actually in the middle of writing a song about being a Phoenix. Building a fire and feeding it with all the pieces of me (opinions, judgements, behaviors, etc...) I don't want anymore. Then rising out of the ashes with a glorious new set of wings. Because the way I am, is not a permanent thing, please excuse me while I'm regenerating. And every moment is another chance to start over.

All about perspective at any given time isn't it? My nephew HATED orange juice and would not drink it, it is just tastes awful to him!! But nobody knew it was because he always had to brush his teeth right before breakfast! Then one day he tried it before he brushed his teeth, now he LOVES it.

Good Times! :)

Thanks for this beautiful insight! I will share it!

Its a spinview on the saying 'you spot it ...you got it!' This is perhaps an inverse perspective on it. For me it speaks to an (all time :-)) truth that we humans & all living nature & creatures ...Evolve & grow...& each through very individual experiences & processing not known to anyone else. It leads me to see again why humility forgiveness & an open compassionate heart toward others & ourselves is a necessary perspective & gift (in each today haha).
The presentation of what we dont like tends to be the 'life mirror' on something we need to really look at. Stepping back is often moving forward....:-) peace to all...today/each day. Thank you Derek & all for your insights....this forum restores :-)

I used to hate a world that allowed innocent children to die off starvation and wondered if there was someone that created this world and stood by watching these helpless children starve to death. Years later I got to understand that we ad humans were created to have dominion-we are in charge here and responsible and accountable for all that goes on here

ha ha ! .. so true ! completely agree .. :) .. The pic of the cocoon or the butterfly ... is sooo awesome ! . didnt know the cocoon looked like this just before the butterfly came out .

This applies to people as well Derek. I used to hate my ex-wife and I was finally able to forgive her for the pain she caused me. I can't say as I love her today, or ever, as I used to, but I no longer hate her and was happy for her when I saw she remarried recently.

Well stated, my friend!! (Well, at least my I've-never-met-you-but-read-your-stuff-regularly cyber friend.) I try to stay away from the 'I hate' phrase for similar reasons, but you've add a great twist I think I can use. Thanks for sharing!!

Probably your BEST YET! And I've loved all of them. Just shows how we should keep our eyes and mind open. I always HATED history, all the way through school; even college. But now I realize how fascinating the story of civilization's development really is. Mucho bravo!

I love this quote ( at least today ) :
"Everything is interesting if you go into it deeply enough."
--Richard Feynman

I think I almost love everything... and hate nothing... cause I know further I would love it when I understand more...
But... always keep my scientific integrity...
If I can prove that something is right, I should prove everything that I think it is wrong.
That is the integrity.

Cargo Cult Science --Richard Feynman
http://neurotheory.columbia.edu/~ken/cargo_cult.html

yes, GROW IN GRACE AND WISDOM…… LOVE YOU. BETTY

agreed

Used to hate beets...and all kinds of other food I love today

In the past, I have never wanted to see a movie twice, or reread a book.....now I find sooooo much more depth on a different level of revisiting.

Great article. The rule of no attachment. Adding today to the thought, whether it's love or hate, makes it clear. Everything can change at any point. This is where I find myself on the path in this moment.

After listening to your Tom Waits' links, however, I must say his music continues to grind my entire body into a depressive state.... today :)

So so true!!!as we grow older and become more self aware I believe that we begin to appreciate more things. The worthwhile things are much more difficult to appreciate and often take their time revealing themselves to you. Besides, the world and we it's inhabitants are forever changing! It is the only constant. What may be right for you TODAY may not be right for you tomorrow and vise versa! Great little reflection.

When you say you love something, it is almost inevitable that you'll hate anything that is different. Or as W. Timothy Gallwey puts it, "It is impossible to judge one event as positive without seeing other events as not positive or as negative.” So even though we think judging things as positive is...well...positive, it can also be negative, ha ha ha. It basically comes down to using judgement. Judging things as good or bad creates a lot of noise in our minds and hearts, and it blinds us to seeing things for what they really are. Not judging things, however, is very hard because we've been conditioned that way all our lives. But it's never to late to change habits. Whenever you see something you think you love or hate, try to remain silent, both verbally and mentally, don't put any label on it, and just observe it, or hear it, or whatever the case may be. And don't worry if you do judge it anyway, just keep practicing, and you'll start seeing what you've never seen before.

Yeah!!! It's very interesting, how we (in the past), went along in life and found things that were displeasing or things that we once hated; that are now pleasing or that we learned something from it or our experiences.. As we age; somehow, we find them interesting and even see the good in those things and we might even find inspiration, goodness;or even fascinating that can change and enrich our lives big time!!! I believe it's because, we mature and take time to examine, research and experience.. And well, knowledge through living and being involved is definitely power!

Derek, I really appreciate your thought provoking comments on all of your topics... These are the stimuli and/or food we all need to rethink our responses on what we have, how we view it, learn and how we should be THANKFUL.... Have a nice year! KEEP ON TRUCKING..

So true Derek, the older I get the more often I have to eat those words. I loved Tom Waits the first time I heard him, but said I wouldn't walk across the street to see Dylan. My feelings on Dylan certainly changed with time. I related immediately reading your article, but it is a good reminder to keep an open mind.

Tom Waits album, The Heart of Saturday Night, "Please Call Me Baby" is one of greatest songs I've ever heard. Loved it the first time I heard it and have every since. Although I am not a Waits devotee' I do love his clever niche sound. As far as Hate, people who grow and evolve will appreciate this process you described. However, sticks-in-the-mud will not understand anything you've just said.

There was a famous poet (I forget his name offhand) who said to have passion and confidence in everything you say today, even if it contradicts everything you said yesterday. How brave! That quote always stuck with me. (Emerson, maybe?)

Yes! I was right. It was Emerson, only he said it much better...

"Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

Haha, good one. so true. I remember years ago when someone told me to cook liver for my dog occasionally, it would be very good for her. I remember it actually smelled pretty good. I thought "well, i used to hate brussel sprouts and now I love them so maybe I like liver now". So, I tired a bite. NOPE, still hated it. But, at least I tried.

Ahhh yes... ignorance is bliss... inexperience, well that's a whole other chapter in a book itself... "remain teachable" are two of my most favorite words Derek, and they definitely apply when it comes to discovering my passions in life!

Sincerely, Grateful Ed aka Knuckle~Head Ed aka MrNDVERSE:-0~

An object, a person, a place, all can have a negative impact if one has had an unpleasant experience with them. I've had very few bad experiences with the 3rd dimensional world, but in the unpleasant experiences i HAVE had, I've found a distaste for anything surrounding them for a while. And it makes sense. Anything that reminds you of a bad experience is distasteful. But I always get over it. I'm not sure this has anything to do with what YO'RE talking about, Derek, but it led me to this.
Tom Waits recorded in my studio about 25 years ago. I didn't get it, either.

I believe that to really like Tom Waits you must first hate his music. Once you do "get it" then you got out and buy everything by him. This is one unfortunate result of the evolution in technology. There is so much great music out there that most only give one track (or part of one) and if they hate it they never come back.

Also important is as soon as you mentioned Indonesia, even before mentioning the bad credit card issues I cringed just a little. Have been there way too many times.

Hope you are well!

You always know just what to say, Derek, and you say it in such a deeply thoughtful and meaningful way; it gets me every time. :) As always, I couldn't agree more with your outlook.

Its reminds me of my favourite quote: People who were right a lot of the time were people who often changed their minds.--Jeff Bezos

perfect for me... beyond words, thanks for sharing this...:)

Derek! I've learned...The fun of growing up is growing up!

Wise Indeed! Thank you for the reminder.

I'm wondering which would be more appropriate to be in on the joke. Would it be I love this article today or I hate this article today, either way I really mean love. I had a good laugh with the Tom Waits, Tom is definitely an acquired taste, like all music haha.

#teamIndonesia. I'm intrigued.

"We don't need to preserve our first opinions as if they are our pure, untarnished, true nature."
Although for this quote I believe that some parts of us never change till the day we die. Some traits are untarnished up on till the day we croak. Kind of like how the leopard never loses it spots. I think that it can be a great thing though, if the traits in question are "pure" as you described. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

You have a way of sharing your stories so personally.. that one can't help but drift in mind to similar instances and then laugh at the pure truth behind what you're saying.

i used to "hate" classical music cause i never got why it had to be so long... nowadays i can't go through a day without Bach in the background and "Pie Jesu" at least once a week to still my soul. lol!

Love the Story. point. hehe.

Hello Derek,
I can identify with what you're saying. You give plenty of food for thought. I didn't like Tom Waits till i heard him sing "House where nobody lives"
Thank you.
Pete

Hi Derek. This reminds me of a quote that is said to be from Blaise Pascal but I am not sure: "I am not ashamed to change my mind because I am not ashamed to think."

As usual, good comments. It is always wise to check your negative comments. We are not stagnant by nature; we are static. (Although, there are those who hold tight to being who they are.) While reading an article in Inc. (I think) (oops, that rhymes) I learned to replace BUT with AND. What a difference! At our Mini Con of instructors this year, we are having a whole session on positive speak. This will now be added. Thanks, Derek.

Wonderful insight and fantastic article!

Thank you :-D

I love your insights. We all need to become more retrospective and discover similar habits within ourselves.

Best way of thinking...

Thanks Derek!! : )

Yes! Whatever we feel about a certain thing, it seems as if embracing the practice of being present focuses our ability to consider it within the context of the current moment, and when next coming into contact with it, to also consider it within that current moment, where we'll have collected new life experiences to add context.

Hey Derek! I love this and reminds me of how much my musical tastes have changed as well over the years. I also do the same thing with foods and beer. I still have not ever liked the taste of Coffee, today that is! Thanks for a great story here.
Trey :)
cdbaby.com/WhiskeyChild
cdbaby.com/HillsRolling
cdbaby.com/SomeWhereOutHere

nice one derek! whenever i watch a show or movie and i just "hate" the character --- i'll step back for a minute and think about it and usually will come to the conclusion that I love the actor's performance!

always have to be wary of using 'hate'.
or even 'love'.
what does it mean?

but some feelings run deeper.
maybe 'hate' is trivial, and real 'hatred'
is unspoken, undefined, and even confusing.

So true, and a good reminder, thanks Derek!

Cool. Perhaps what you do is not what you are. This helps take the edge off criticism too.

Nothing means anything except the meaning we give to it,
One man food is another Man Poison.

I agree Derek. I further think that as we mature and grow from that maturity, we are simultaneously opened to thoughts, opinions and even different ways of conducting our lives which sometimes are 180 degrees from where we once were.

You come up with some interesting thoughts! I love electronic, hip hop, and rap today. I like it so much that now I rap! I love writing rap lyrics. What a turnaround from somebody like myself that really had no interest in it several years ago.

It would be great if you decided to ever come to Cleveland, maybe you could do a talk at The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Plus, take a tour of our Museum of Art. I have a chauffeur who could pick you up and drive you around.

Thank you, Derek. Always enjoy your thoughts. Although I consider myself a nicely liberal person. I also have to myself living in fear and unfounded biases.

Right again Derek you must be some sort of Ancient Wiseman....lol

Looks like I'm starting to work on some film scoring in the near future got the call today...requesting a resume....OMG ....Making a resume...imagine that!!!When was the last time you made a resume?

Been years I can't even remember the dates but I do remember the events....
So I open it up and holy rusty... four hours later zippity do da... Off and running again........lol

I'm on the same journey, Derek. Thanks for sharing these insights.
David

I prefer to say "right now or "at this moment in time".

Attitude and opinions can change at any time :-)

I will share this with everyone of my friends and associates that I can think of. It is so true. As a teen I didn't like The Grateful Dead, Kinks, Yes, coffee, ham, eggplant and the list goes on. Now I own all recorded output from those bands; I drink coffee everyday; I eat ham and eggplant (although not together) anytime they are served.

this phone. i'm gonna have trouble not hating
this phone. bl**dy touchscreen inaccurate cr*p...
terrible OS, can't change it. and it keeps
switching itself off. if it makes it to the end of
the week without being splatted...no i'd better
take it back and change it...

Thanks, Derek. I had exactly the same experience with Miles Davis' Bitches Brew. I hated it first and couldn't work out why others didn't. After six attempts at letting MD surprise me and tell me something, I realised that I liked it. I have been waiting to like beer all my life. I'm still waiting. I am, though, prepared to wait as I believe that beer is made with love. Best, David

"American exotic theatrical junkyard sound" Love that phrase (today ;p)
I just flipped from a post on Tom Waits and Otis Redding to looking you up. I felt/feel the same way w/Waits.
We are organic. Luckily, so are our souls. Ever evolving. I like the sound of one hand clapping. Today. ;p

nothing too insightful aside from the fact i enjoy reading your thoughts and look to continue.

Yeah, I agree with you. It also happens the opposite. Something that we love so much today may become what we hate in the future.

Thank You Derek . . .
I always Get Inspiration from "Ur" Posts & Have been thinking about this . . .
I've got "2" Projects I'm workin on "1" piece @ a Time Slowly . . .
One them's in The Sort of Obscure Category . . .
I Feel the Most Comfortable there . . .
I think Natural . . . It Feels Like a Home
Although I'm still kind of Experimenting . . .
When Record My self on Vid-Cam & Watch I'm trying to get My own Style Happening . . .
I Like Blues . . . I'm not a Jazz Player, but I find my self switching to Jazz Radio Stations more & more Lately . . . Just to Listen . . . Then My Daughter Switches it Back To Her Pop Station . . . Lol
Have a Good Day !
Thx

Love, hate .. These are only feelings fired and responded by our brain when it analyses situations and compare things to a past similar experience we have had, like your Indonesia story
Sometimes we need to ignore what our brain delivers to us and let our heart decide to living life to the full

Derek, I have enjoyed you immensely for a long time. Hardly ever post. However, here I am now. Thanks for cdbaby. Just released my 6th CD with them. Your service to musicians and creative beings everywhere is deeply appreciated. I just love you. You're terrific!

Hi Derek. I love this anecdote.....today. And I'm sure I'll love it tomorrow too. (Lol)

I am pleased to read one of your experiences. Thanks for sharing.

Ha! Butterflies!

Excellent and right on time for me.

Catapiller-butterfly, today-tomorrow, I get it.Cool.

I go through this all the time. I think it's a karmic clause that says: 'he has passionately hated this....so we will poke him in the ribs with it four years from now and he will then love it...but will have to learn the same lesson 8,392 more times'.

I frickin' hated the Rolling Stones. Couldn't stand `em. I was a RUSH guy ! Precision. Meter-changes. Long silky robes. Then I had to play Stones song. Hated it. Absolute crap. But then I played it a few more times, played it sloppier than any Rush song, and suddenly I 'got it'. (I'm still a RUSH nerd though)

Steel guitar. Seriously? Who liked steel guitar?! I even wrote about it in a magazine column. I said 'steel guitars are whiny sewing machines'. When I got hate-mail the next month from steel guitarists...I upped the ante. I wrote in my next column: 'I should really apologize...but I'm not going to. Steel guitarists should be chained to their instruments and hurled in to the sea.'

Five or six years later, and I'm faking steel parts on my regular guitar just as a goof on some old Johnny Cash song. Pretty soon, though, I'm digging it...then it starts to show up on more songs. Then I'm friends with one of the guys who wrote me the hate mail and we jam periodically.

Karma. Well...this was long. Great article!

m|p

Hi Derek, I would just like to say I have this wonderful habit of bumping into your content whilst I surf the internet and it always perks me up.

I guess what I figure is.. when we make our early attempts at making sense of the world we begin by picking our beliefs. They're probably the quickest and easiest way to form a sense of self and, more than likely, are cherry picked from the collective ideals and interests of our peers at that time. Next, life happens and our onus to others relinquishes and we become more open. Our identities are not so reliant on the views other and we become more comfortable living by our values.

Words carry a tremendous amount of energy that can hold us back or propel us forward. Best to use them wisely!

Hey Derek,
As always, you leave us all with something to think about, something to chew on. I appreciate your insight and musings - thanks.
Jacqui

a nice quote: i've replaced opinions with curiosity

Hi Derek, thanks so much for writing this. I've since taken up a Starting Strength class and am enjoying it immensely. I never would have thought that I'd like it!

Have you read Influence by Robert Caldini. Talks some about your conclusion(We don't need to preserve our first opinions as if they are our pure, untarnished, true nature. They're often just ignorance or inexperience) in the chapter on commitment and consistency.
Hated programming when i was at university studying computer science(biggest mistake ever. Was into server admin and MS tech). I love it now and can code in a few languages. Funny how i could swear by not being a coder up until a few months ago.

I'm an electric bass player. For years, my musician friends would often say, "why don't you play the upright bass"? I hated that thing -- it was huge, you had to pluck the strings really hard, it was really muddy sounding, my intonation sucked. I'm 51 years old -- playing the electric from age 13. About 15 years ago when I was about 35, I walked into a music store in Ft Lauderdale and saw this upright bass and played it -- I actually liked the bass and bought it. Now, it is the only instrument that I bring to the gig and I don't like my electric anymore. So, your story was cool to read and made me write this while I take a break from cannabis use (causes insomnia).

PS: My current project is to get good at singing. Hey man, you sound good -- nice voice.

Rod

Your experience with Tom Waits was almost exactly mine with Joanna Newsom back in the day. I hated "Sadie" passionately the first time I heard it. A year later I was sharing iPod songs with a fellow passenger on a long bus ride. He put on "Sadie" and I rolled my eyes, but by the end of the song I was in love with it. Timing is everything.

I love Derek sivers TODAY !!!

One reason for keeping old opinions is ego. We don't want to look in our mirror and say, "I was w-w-w-wrong."

I found a good counter to my ego: Alain de Boton's advice, which went (I forget) something like, "You should be embarrassed at how you were this time last year"... That gives my ego permission to change.

Samesies on Tom Waits. Thought my friend was pranking me when she told me to listen to it in the early 90s. I loved Cohen and Cave, and she thought I'd REALLY like Waits if I enjoyed those two, which I did (and do) immensely. But, wow, it was not love at first listen for me. Then, a few years later, with different ears, I heard it. That thing that makes Waits so worth the wait for my being to catch up to.
Cool! You're the only other person I've heard go through this. — Derek

May I joke?
About being stuck with an identity?
I'm still chuckling after a graduate student introduced herself to my club by saying positive qualities and metaphors that relate to a dolphin, and she ended with a smile and, "I have to say that because on my ankle I have a tattoo of a dolphin!"

Good post! I used to hate learning languages and learning them was a waste of time - that could have better been put to use doing somethign else. After all you can get on just by English everywhere right? What a totally ignorant fool I think I was.

I study to become a teacher and I did a few month teaching internship in Uruguay last autumn. I knew only the basics of Spanish when going to the country. There I fell in love with the relaxed and warm Latin American cultures and started learning the language more.

Now you couldn't have me watch Netflix in English anymore. I watch it using different subtitles of different languages and usually watch movies dubbed (or just choose non-English films). I want to keep on traveling and learning so many new languages.

Also I had the same experience as Derek had with weightlifting. Other things I love I used to hate: doing cardio (I go to the gym, put on laptop on the bike and pedal my way through Netflix language learning session), partying, wanting to work a lot in general (instead of the quit the job passive income dream).

Weightlifting. Yes. Same for me.

From the outside, it looked dumb. It's not until you do it that it reveals its deeper truths. This is a great essay on the topic by Henry Rollins.

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/henry-rollins-iron-and-soul/

"Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."

When I saw the header, "Loving What I Used To Hate" what came to my mind first was music, they are some artistes I don't like listening to their songs, but now am a big fan of them. My current Job is owned by the person I don't even think I can have anything to do with, but he's too open-minded to understand me.

One of the lonely things about my North American adolescence was knowing that my peers "didn't get it." They thought that any teen artist who was different was a "failed conformist," not realizing that the most interesting teens among us truly didn't care about conforming.

Today I believe that a number of kids are OK with indie (independent) music and other things, but that was not much the case in my youth.

Years ago I used to "have to know my own strength" because other young adults would be threatened by my self confidence and honesty. Sure I had my fears, but fear of not conforming to mundane people was not one of them. This afternoon I was happily around people with confidence who are OK if I show enthusiasm for something, in fine arts or entertainment, that they don't share. Like Star Trek. And they don't mind that I have a university degree.

Pam at #18 is not the only such comment I've seen on one or more Derek posts: She doesn't like "I love you right now" although someone else, on a post, said he likes to say that.

My philosophy is that certain things require full commitment, right across time and space. When troops are about to charge across no man's land the last thing they do is merely synchronize their watches. They do NOT make a plan B, let alone think, "I am only choosing to charge right now."

So many artists with a trade, "something to fall back on" end up falling back and then not making it in their chosen art field.

There is a joke about an artist in a diner ordering a plate of ham and eggs. "The chicken is involved, the pig is committed."

I used to hate the indoctrination of our Irish nuns at my Convent Missionary school when I was growing up. Like everyone else, I too grew up, faced a tumult of New Age and Spiritualities when I entered the University away from home. I didn't get involved anyhow. That was in the late 1970's. So armed with a new degree but got caught into a bout of heartbreaking mental breakdown due to naivete. But it was the presence of Christ Jesus, the Messiah of the Bible, who became real to me and lifted me from the pits.
Since then, I've had been drawn into a palpably growing relationship with the proclaimed Man-God whichever men want to call him.
To me, he is as real as the back of my hand and his voice I do recognize amidst all the other noses in my head.
To many he is beyond belief or even real. In HIM, I find my true identity and the Raison d'etre for my living!
I have dedicated myself to getting to know this beautiful and amazing Son of the Living God and being obedient to His calling for the rest of my life!
Blessings of peace and abundance to you, Sivers!
Priscilla Tang April 2021 - Hong Kong

A complimentary romantical partner that helps you move many things from hate to love (and almost nothing the other way) feels like a great thing . Thanks to mine I started loving many things I used to hate (theater, pop music, the beach, etc). Cheers!